


They don't make this easy

by JemmyMads



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: 95line centric, Attempted Sexual Assault, High School, Hurt/Comfort, Lots of it, M/M, Team as Family, Teasing, They're a mess, but like it doesn't happen, but they're a mess TOGETHER, college parties as well, existential seniors, high school parties, kings cup, senior year is tough, so obviously theres drinking and some weed, soft??
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:48:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 39,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24827071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JemmyMads/pseuds/JemmyMads
Summary: Senior year is hard. Babysitting 12 kids, navigating a crush on not one but two of your (beautiful) best friends, and trying to make music makes it the tiniest bit harder.Seungcheol's friends are determined to give him an early death. He loves them anyways.(Seventeen are high school friends who do high school shit together. 95line centric but all members are gonna get their fair share cause I adore them)
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Hong Jisoo | Joshua, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan
Comments: 22
Kudos: 100





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> 95line-seniors  
> 96line- juniors  
> 97line - sophomores  
> 98/99 - freshmen
> 
> First time writing for Seventeen, second time uploading the first chapter because I want to give fast updates and now I can :) hope you enjoy carats!

Seungcheol was well versed in being the designated sober friend. 

He was well versed in having vomit on his shoes, in having a crying friend on his shoulder, of carrying someone to bed or to the waiting car.

He was a senior in high school with a rowdy group of 12 boys to look after, there was little that he didn’t know how to handle when it came to drunken adventures.

“Cheol please, just one.” Jeonghan pleaded, clinging to Seungcheol’s arm and looking at him with wide, innocent eyes.

Seungcheol smiled at the other, heart not swayed by his ministrations, “I’m sober tonight, Han, gotta look after the kids on your night off.”

“But it’s no fun if I can’t get drunk with you,” Jeonghan whined, looking at their entwined fingers and playing with some of Seungcheol’s rings, “We haven’t had a fun night together in such a long time.”

“I always have fun with you.” Seungcheol replied, mock offended.

“You know what I mean!” Jeonghan’s whine reached a new pitch and he swung Seungcheol’s arm a little in agitation. “Just one jello shot and I’ll leave you alone. Or better yet, we’ll share a jello shot, all intimate and close...”

Jeonghan trailed off, pushing lightly on Seungcheol’s chest in what Seungcheol assumed was supposed to be a teasing, flirty gesture. It only appeared amusing to the eldest.

Around them, the lights pulsed in a rainbow pattern and people milled around talking. Seungcheol could hear the cheers of king’s cup over the crowd, no doubt where the majority of their friends had ended up.

And the unfortunate part of the night was that Jeonghan was  _ right _ . They hadn’t had a night out together since the start of the spring semester, nearly two months ago. They were both the most trusted and reliable sober friends, and most of the time neither of them felt comfortable letting the younger kids go out with them unless either Seungcheol or Jeonghan was the sober friend for the night. 

Seungcheol had pulled the responsibility tonight. His house was empty the weekend anyways, so he volunteered it for anyone who couldn’t go home absolutely wasted, as most of them would be by the end of the night. 

Across the room, Mingyu caught his eye and raised his cup in greeting. Mingyu had offered to be the other sober friend for the night, surprising nearly everyone. The boy had just recently gotten his driver’s license and was happy to be the other driver for the night so he could take care of Wonwoo, who had been wanting to have a night out for some time now.

Jeonghan tugged on Seungcheol’s arm incessantly. It was apparently his favorite spot for the night.

“Cheollie let’s go play with the others. I want to talk to Joshuji.” Jeonghan asked, already leading them out to the back porch, through the throngs of dancing teens, and past Mingyu, Wonwoo, and Jihoon who all greeted them with wide smiles.

Outside, Soonyoung was conducting King’s Cup, enacting some more ridiculous rules that they had made within their friend group when they got bored of the game. Most everyone else was out here either taking part or milling around by the jacuzzi and smoking. Jeonghan’s eyes lit up when he saw Jun with a blunt and beelined for the younger.

Joshua looked up from the game and cheered, “Cheol’s here!”

His proclamation was met with a round of cheers and an enthusiastic shout from Soonyoung, who rounded the table and took Seungcheol under his arm.

“Hyung you want to join, we’ll be winding down here soon and you can join next round.”

“Join this round,” Chan shouted from where he was sitting at the head of the table, “Take my spot hyung, I’ve been trying to get inside to dance for 15 minutes now and they’re not letting me.”

“You don’t leave this table until you’re properly drunk Lee Chan!” Soonyoung said, leaving Seungcheol’s side to go to their youngest and slap him a few times on the back, “The rules of the game.”

“That’s a bullshit rule but I agree,” Seungkwan chimed, before blanching and looking at Joshua in disbelief, “Oh my god I’m drunk. Did I just  _ agree  _ with him?”

Joshua nodded sagely at the younger.

“Oh god, oh  _ god _ hyung what do I do?”

Joshua leaned away from where Seungkwan had begun clinging to him, “Calm down Kwannie, it’s not the end of the world.”

“Hyung,” Seungkwan lamented, “It is the end of the world hyung.”

“Can I leave?” Chan asked again.

“No!” Soonyoung gently whacked the younger on the head, “Quitters never prosper. I believe a wise Shua-hyung once said that.”

“I said  _ spitters _ never prosper.” Joshua corrected.

“If anyone actually cares, the real quote is cheaters never prosper.” Seungcheol offered the obviously tipsy group of boys.

Joshua shrugged, “Don’t care. Spitters never prosper. Change my mind.”

Minghao spoke up for the first time, leaning across the table with a knowing smirk, “Oh I know exactly who would change your mind if only he would just-”

Joshua flicked a potato chip at the younger lazily, “I don’t change my beliefs for anyone, no matter how pretty they are.”

“‘Pretty… and Minnie he’s just so funny and caring, oh Minnie what should I do?’” Seokmin mocked in an overdramatic version of Joshua, “Minnie I just really like hi-”

Joshua threw a chip at Seokmin as well with an annoyed huff.

Chan stood from his chair, bracing his hands on the side of the table, “Can I  _ please _ leave.”

Soonyoung shoved him back into his chair none too gently, “No. Now let’s continue. Coups-hyung no more interruptions.” He pointed an accusing finger at him.

Seungcheol held up his hands in surrender, “I’ve barely said ten words.”

“And yet they were enough to distract an entire table of boys.” Minghao quipped

Jeonghan had wandered over again, the smell of weed clinging to the sweater that he had borrowed from Jun.

“He just has that effect on people.” Jeonghan giggled slightly, taking up residence on Seungcheol’s arm once again, “Enticing, distracting.”

Jeonghan winked at Seungcheol, none too subtly. At the table, Joshua scoffed good naturedly.

“We get it Hannie, come sit with me I’ve been holding your drink for half an hour now.”

Jeonghan looked down at the drink he was holding and then at the one Joshua was holding up. He looked to Seungcheol, “When did I-   
“I tried to stop you but you wouldn’t listen.”

Jeonghan nodded knowingly, “That sounds like me.”

“Well that’s because it  _ was _ you.”

“Hannie!” Josh called again.

“Coming!” Jeonghan flounced over to the other and snatched the drink from his still raised arm, downing it quickly. His face screwed up in disgust and he quickly grabbed Joshua’s wine to rinse away the taste.

Seokmin whistled, “Jesus hyung, what was in that?”

“Gin and orange juice.” Jeonghan replied. He pulled an unused chair over beside Joshua and got comfortable leaning against the boy.

“Sippin on gin and juice~” Seungkwan sang under his breath, focused on stacking cheetos.

Seungcheol grimaced slightly, “Jeonghannie be careful about mixing alcohols.”

“Of course dearest!” Jeonghan called back, taking another long sip of Joshua’s wine, who just looked on in amusement.

Seungcheol rolled his eyes but moved to sit with his two best friends anyways, sitting on the arm of Jeonghan’s chair and watching the others play the game quietly.

“Who are the whores?” Jeonghan asked, his voice slightly louder than usual, no doubt due to the alcohol in his system.

Joshua leaned back and draped his arm over Jeonghan’s shoulders, “Don’t be stupid, we all know who the whores at this table are.”

Seungkwan raised his hand without looking up from his phone. Soonyoung also raised his hand shamelessly, winking at Chan when the younger scoffed.

Jeonghan sighed wistfully, “If I were playing I would volunteer to be a whore.”

“We know.” Minghao quipped at the same time Joshua said, “You don’t have to play to be a whore.”

Jeonghan laughed lightly, “You’re right. I can admit that easily.”

Seungcheol made a face and smacked at Joshua’s arm behind Jeonghan’s back. They all joked about Jeonghan and his affairs and for the most part Jeonghan never had a problem with it, he was even the one who started the jokes. None of them had a problem with Jeonghan and how he spent his time, the boy was proud of most of his hookups anyways and had no problem retelling all the details.

But Jeonghan had confessed to Seungcheol and Joshua over winter break that he wasn’t always comfortable with making light of his hookups. They had all gotten high together in Joshua’s apartment one night and amidst their light hearted talks and dazed ramblings, Jeonghan had confided in them in some of his scarier meetups, the drunken ones that hurt, the pushy ones, the ones that Jeonghan regret the second they were over.

He said joking about them was easier than getting real with the younger kids who looked up to him. And easier than admitting that he was wrong about the people he put trust into.

Joshua looked up at Seungcheol, clearly startled, before understanding dawned on him and he winced. He rubbed gently at Jeonghan’s neck in apology. The drunken boy didn’t notice and clearly didn’t care about the joking in this case.

At the table, Minghao slapped down a seven. All the boys erupted into loud “hallelujah”s as they raised their hands to the sky, a distracted Joshua being the last one to do so and needing to take a drink.

Jeonghan and Seungcheol watched on in companionable silence, occasionally breaking into conversation. As the game got down to the last few cards, Hansol and Jun wandered over, the end of a joint resting easily between the latter’s fingers. He raised it to his lips and took a long hit, smiling at Seungcheol as he pulled it back.

“Wanna hit Cheol? It’s from Ten, not laced or anything.”

“I’m good Junnie, gotta get these drunks home.” Seungcheol replied, actually sorry that he had to turn the younger down.

Jeonghan grabbed at the younger’s arm pointedly and Jun dipped gracefully, shotgunning with the elder. Seungcheol was comfortable enough to admit that the pair, lightly making out and exchanging the smoke, was attractive. Still, he felt something uncomfortable shift in his gut at the show.

At the end of last school year, Jeonghan and Junhui had been in some friends with benefits agreement, hooking up with each other to help Jun to get over his ex and to keep Jeonghan away from the sleazy boys that chased him. They had ended things halfway through the summer for reasons that they both seemed content with, but the rest of the boys were kept in the dark.

Across the table, Minghao caught sight of the show and quirked his eyebrow, moving his gaze to Seungcheol. Seungcheol tried for an easy smile but the younger merely gave him a knowing grin before returning his attention to the game, where Soonyoung was chugging his beer as Seungkwan shouted at him.

Jeonghan exhaled the smoke he kept in his lungs, playfully breathing some in Joshua’s face who grumbled and batted it away. He was used to Jeonghan’s antics by now.

Jun leaned close to Seungcheol, “He’s gonna be high off his ass in a few minutes.”

“I know,” Seungcheol grumbled, “Thanks for that, by the way.”

“Hey I was just giving hyung what he wanted. He said he wanted to let go for the night.” Jun defended himself. And really, Seungcheol didn’t blame him for any of it. Jeonghan wasn’t too hard to look after when high or drunk, nothing compared to Seokmin or Seungkwan. Plus, Jeonghan deserved a night to unwind, college acceptances were beginning to come out and they were taking a toll on the seniors. And Jun had always been careful with the older, watching out for him when they went out to party, just the two of them, giving him sweaters and jackets on cold days, giving him food when he forgot his own. He was not someone Seungcheol could ever get mad at, the younger was too caring for his own good.

“Take care of him, yeah? He gets clingy when he’s crossed.” Jun said, before moving to Minghao’s side and giving the younger the last of the weed.

Seungcheol looked down to where Jeonghan was basically on Joshua’s lap, who’s cheeks were tinging red as he began to move from tipsy to full on drunk.

“Look after him for a moment? I’m gonna find Mingyu,” Seungcheol leaned over and told Joshua, who gave him a quick thumbs up.

He got stopped twice as he moved inside. Jaehwan and Daniel wanted him to settle an argument about whether one of their teachers was a virgin or not, to which Seungcheol laughed and told them to ask Junhui instead, he seemed to know all of those things. Then, Nayeon and Kun pulled him into the dance floor for the end of a song before they got distracted by Winwin and Wonpil.

Finally, he found Mingyu laughing in the kitchen, still with Wonwoo and Jihoon. Changkyun was sat on the counter, Jacob leaning between his legs sipping on a drink. Eunbi and Wheein were sitting on the ground, leaning against the cabinets and flicking a sugar packet back and forth as they listened to Changkyun’s story.

“Mingyu.” Seungcheol called, jerking his head to get the younger to come over. Mingyu excused himself and meandered over. “When you wanna head out?”

Mingyu cocked his head and checked the time, which was already bordering one. Chances were, the party was going to get shut down soon anyways, especially with how loud they were.

“Oh. Oh wow.” Mingyu exclaimed, “Yeah I guess we should try to leave, how about another thirty minutes than we drag 'em out.”

Seungcheol nodded, “Sounds good, know who you’re in charge of?”

“Yes,” Mingyu drawled, “Soonyoung, Wonwoo, Minghao, and Seungkwan are in my car, taking them straight to your place.”

Seungcheol grinned and ruffled the younger, though admittedly much taller, boy’s hair. “Still wanna sleep over?”

“Yeah if it’s still okay with you.”

“Always. You know that.”

“Yeah yeah,” Mingyu waved him off, “Whatever you sap. Go back to look after the hoodlums out there, I got it covered in here.”

“Hoodlums,” Seungcheol chuckled, “You got the easy ones in here. Wanna trade?”

Mingyu started pushing him out of the kitchen and back to the living room-turned-dance floor, “No way, good luck hyung!”

Seungcheol lazily flipped him off and made his way back outside to the others, stopping to say hi to others along the way. Once outside, there was only around ten minutes until he would need to start rounding them up and making sure he had everything and they had all their correct shoes.

Seungcheol was kind of astounded by how many misplaced shoes they had had to deal with over the years.

“Cheol!” Joshua called. 

King’s cup had finished and the cards were being picked up by a now clearly drunk Chan, the freshman rambling to a clearly high Hansol about some incident that had happened involving Soonyoung and a beach ball. Seungkwan was sitting on the edge of the table, having drawn a crowd around him as he recounted the infamous haunted house incident. Seokmin was seated next to him, helping fill details and give anecdotes when Seungkwan got ahead of himself.

Off to the side, the rest of their friends were seated on the pavement talking away with each other. Jeonghan was seated between Joshua’s legs, sitting up and talking animatedly with Soonyoung about their shared environmental science teacher.

“Oh I  _ know _ they get high together in the janitor’s closet before school.” Jeonghan cried, throwing his hands up with so much force that he fell backwards into Joshua’s chest. Joshua grabbed his waist and steadied him, looking as though he had known that was going to happen.

“Bullshit.” Jun said.

“It’s true!” Jeonghan insisted.

“Bullshit!”

“ _ It’s true _ !” Jeonghan nearly yelled, a wide smile on his face not helping convince any of them that what he was saying was true. “What could I possibly gain from this!”

“Uh you tell us lies all the time when you have nothing to gain.” Minghao pointed out.

“I gain a good laugh knowing that I tricked you guys.”

“And you’re gaining a good laugh right now too.” Jun pointed out.

Jeonghan giggled and tried to hide his smile behind his hand, “That’s just because…” He waved vaguely around, “Y’know?”

Soonyoung scoffed and looked towards Joshua, “Hyung are you in on this? Do you two have some bet right now?”

A testament to how many times the pair had tricked the others over something like this.

Joshua put one hand up in surrender, “I have heard nothing about this before.”

Jun caught sight of Seungcheol hovering over their conversation and waved at him wildly

“Coups-hyung we’re over here!” The younger uselessly shouted towards him, clearly not grasping that Seungcheol was only a couple of feet away and had been clearly listening to their conversation, “Coups-hyung did you know that Mrs. Min and Jihoon get high together before school in the mornings?”

“Uh yeah?” Seungcheol said. Most seniors knew about the alumni’s scandalous morning meetings with Mrs. Min where they would smoke and eat doughnuts together. “I’ve known about it for months.”

Jeonghan jabbed his finger in Seungcheol’s direction with a triumphant smile, “See? See! I told you all.”

“Well how’d you find out?” Minghao asked, still skeptical about the whole thing.

Seungcheol knew that, as a good best friend, he should not tell the other’s that Jeonghan had told him. It would screw the younger over, whether it was a lie or not. If Jeonghan had been the one to tell him, then clearly it could be a lie.

But Seungcheol wasn’t in a hurry to lie to his dongsaengs so easily and would happily watch Jeonghan go down in flames over a stupid argument like this.

So, Seungcheol replied easily, “Jeonghan, of course.”

Jeonghan’s face fell, enough for Seungcheol to feel slightly bad for not helping him. Before Seungcheol could try to amend the situation, Mingyu was shouting out the door that they should get ready to leave, eliciting whines and grumbles from everyone. The others were standing up and stretching, grabbing jackets and collecting used cups and cans. Joshua pushed a wobbling Jeonghan in Seungcheol’s direction with a mumbled excuse of wanting to find some people to say goodbye to. Jeonghan easily transferred to Seungcheol’s side, latching on and dragging him inside to find Yuta and Johnny to say goodbye to. They met the others at the front door, where they were scrambling to get shoes on and any jackets they had hung up.

“Alright Chan those are your- no not those ones- no Chan you know- oh god just wait.” Seungcheol handed Jeonghan off to Soonyoung, who gratefully accepted his clingy hyung while Seungcheol went to help their youngest get his shoes on. “Put those back Hansol, they’re not yours! Okay Chan, left foot first, no left-  _ left foot Chan _ . Jesus there’s only two options and you’ve gotten it wrong every time!”

“Your directions are confusing!” Chan protested, hands on Seungcheol’s shoulders as Seungcheol dipped down to guide his foot into his shoe.

“I said left, what is confusing about that?”

“The semantics!” Chan stressed, offering his other foot over for Seungcheol to help.

“Hyung, Jeonghannie-hyung is getting flirty!” Soonyoung called, giggling at Jeonghan’s attempts to flirt with him. Seungcheol glanced up to see Jeonghan leaning heavily on Soonyoung’s chest, peering up at the younger with a teasing grin, no doubt sprouting some outrageous pickup lines.

“Just- Hansol get back here your jacket is on inside out - just hand him over to Josh or Junnie if he’s making you uncomfortable.” Seungcheol called back, releasing Chan and grabbing Hansol by the back of his sweater and turning him around to put it on properly.

Soonyoung was now looking down at Jeonghan with wide, delighted eyes, “Nah don’t worry hyung, I’m kinda into this.”

“Soonie.” Seungcheol said warningly. “Okay you’re good to go, Sol - Soon I’m serious.”

Soonyoung had his hands around Jeonghan’s waist now, holding the older close as he whispered something in his ear that made the elder laugh loudly.

Soonyoung waved him off, “Yeah yeah, don’t touch Jeonghan, got it. Shua-hyung I have a present for you!”

Joshua, who had a drunk and sleepy Minghao under one arm and a drunk and dramatic Seungkwan under the other, was already shooing Soonyoung and Jeonghan away. “Uh uh, I’m drunk myself I can’t look after him too.”

Soonyoung shrugged and sent Seungcheol an apologetic smile, “Looks like I’m your only option hyunggie, I’ll be careful with him, promise.”

“Whatever, just keep your hands to yourself and make sure he does too, I don’t want you two doing something you’ll both regret in the morning.”

The very idea of Jeonghan and Soonyoung experimenting together made Seungcheol’s stomach tighten. They were an unlikely pair, but not unbelievable given how flirty Jeonghan was and how open and receptive Soonyoung was. Seungcheol made a note to watch out for them the rest of the night.

“Okay where’s… Mingyu!” Seungcheol called to the younger, who was herding Wonwoo and Jihoon out the door, Jun a step behind. The younger paused and looked at him expectantly. “You have your keys?”

Mingyu held them up with a grin.

Seungcheol nodded and began ushering the rest of the boys out the door, counting their heads as they went.

“Eleven, I’m twelve… Where’s…” Seungcheol took a quick glance at all the boys waiting on the steps, “Where’s Seokmin?”

He was met with clueless gazes and a few shrugs from those who actually processed what he said. 

“Right.” Seungcheol turned back into the house and scanned the crowd of partygoers still milling around the dancefloor. There was Seokmin, waving his hands as he talked with Moonbin and Suyeon, right in the middle of the crowd of students. “Oh god, okay. Mingyu I gotta run back and get Minnie!”

“Hurry up it’s freezing!”

“Hyung I’m gonna be a popsicle soon!”

“Get me another drink?”

“Tell Seokminnie-hyung I say hi.”

Seungcheol ignored the chorus of drunken shouts and went back into the crowd, abducting Seokmin from his conversation and shouting an apology to the others for suddenly taking him.

“But hyung Moonbin was telling me about Jinwoo-”

“Minnie-”

“And how Jinwoo is like totally into their friend-”

“Minnie we have to go-”

“And he said it’s totally like you and -”

Seungcheol panicked and slapped a hand across Seokmin’s mouth with wide eyes. They had made it back to the front door, away from any curious ears, but the door was wide open and all their friends were milling about on the front lawn waiting for them. 

“Minnie not here,” Seungcheol hissed, “I promise we can talk about this but just… not here… not with…”

Seungcheol waved vaguely towards their friends, who had caught sight of them and were yelling for them to hurry up.

Seokmin nodded in understanding, “Got it got it, sorry I just got excited. I had no idea that people outside of our group saw what we saw with you guys. I mean, you are pretty obvious so you’d have to be pretty oblivious to not see-”

“I get it Seokmin.”

“Right…Right, let’s go.”

  
  


Seungcheol’s home was modest and homely. His parents took pride in their friends and family, so photos were hung on every available wall space. They had lived there since before Seungcheol was born and the effect of their time there had taken its toll. The remnants of Seungcheol’s childhood could be seen on the stained carpets, the chipped tables and hastily repainted walls.

“I love this house,” Jeonghan sighed wistfully as he kicked off his shoes at the door. Of everyone, Jeonghan had spent by far the most time here. Seungcheol and Jeonghan had been friends since early elementary school and had had their fair share of days and nights spent at each other’s houses. Though, the majority of the time Jeonghan was the one harboring out at Seungcheol’s, and for good reason. His home had never been much of a home in the first place. It was intimidating and cold and Seungcheol was comfortable saying that he would much rather have Jeonghan over at his house than ever turn him away back to his own. Even now, Seungcheol could barely stomach the thought of Jeonghan returning to that house when the weekend was over. Someone so bright should not live somewhere so horrible.

Seungcheol patted Jeonghan’s back as he passed behind him, “I do too. Best one out there.”

Joshua hummed his agreement, helping a nearly asleep Minghao out of his shoes and jacket.

Joshua had moved to Korea in their last year of middle school to live with his aunt for a year. He fell in love with Korea and didn’t want to go back, so his parents enrolled him in an exchange program for the first year of high school as well. When that was over, Joshua pleaded to stay in Korea with his friends. It took the entire summer break and numerous trips back and forth between Los Angeles and Korea for his parents to finally agree to let him stay. A week before school started that year, Joshua and all their friends moved him into his late grandmother’s apartment. It had been left unoccupied and barely maintained for years, but Josh’s parents had, thankfully, been unwilling to give it up on the off chance they decided to move back.

Now, it was the meet up spot for their friend group, the safe haven for most of the boys.

By the time Seungcheol had locked all the doors and gotten some snacks and drinks for the others, they had already set up the living room to accommodate them. 8 people usually slept in the living room, with big couches and spare comforters. It was usually heavily contested over, as it was where the “activity” was, as Hansol put it. 3 people slept in Seungcheol’s room. Depending on who and what exactly they had been doing before going to bed, they usually all just squeezed into the bed and slept huddled close together. 2 were left in the guest bedroom, slightly smaller but the room that stayed the darkest in the morning so it was best for the ones who wanted to sleep in.

As Seunghceol entered the living room, drinks and snacks and some advils balanced on a tray, Jun passed by, heading down the hallway with Minghao on his back.

“We’re taking the guest room!” Jun called back to him.

“Okay, I’ll bring some water in for you two in a bit. Look after HaoHao, yeah? I haven’t seen him go this hard in awhile.”

Jun smiled and nodded, entering the room and kicking the door closed behind him.

In the living room, Jihoon and Mingyu were finishing off the last bed, closest to the large bay windows, where Wonwoo usually chose to sleep. Hansol was laying at the end of one of the couches, feet dangling over the arm as he played a game of Piano Tiles. Chan and Seungkwan were watching from where they were laying against the couch on the ground, singing the song a beat too quickly to try and mess Hansol up. Soonyoung and Seokmin were sat criss cross on the ground in a pile of blankets, leaning close as Soonyoung showed Seokmin something on his phone. Beside them, Jeonghan, Joshua, and Wonwoo were setting up New Girl on the TV, having a heated argument about which season to put on.

“Cheol, my man of good taste, which season of New Girl is the best?” Joshua asked, face entirely too serious for the conversation they were having.

“Season 5 kinda got my heart.” Seungcheol would normally never admit to that, but chances were his friends would not really remember it in the morning.

“A man of utter  _ trash _ taste!” Shua cried, a hand going to cover his heart.

“Cheollie no! How could you!” Jeonghan whined, “That’s true betrayal right there. I now know what real heartbreak is.”

Wonwoo groaned and flopped back on to the ground, knocking his glasses askew, “Hyung seriously?”

“I didn’t know you guys would take this so seriously.”

“It’s New Girl! Of course we would take it seriously.”

Jeonghan nodded his head in disappointment, “I thought you knew us better than this.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Seungcheol chuckled, grabbing the remote from Wonwoo and starting on whatever episode he had last had on, “There you go you drunkards, God why do I put up with you.”

  
  
  


Jeonghan and Joshua, predictably, trailed him to his room sometime later. Jihoon had passed out ten minutes into the first episode, head cushioned on Seungkwan’s thigh. Seungkwan and Chan were the next to succumb to sleep, Hansol draping a blanket over the pair - and Jihoon’s head by extent- when he saw their sleeping forms. Hansol fell asleep quickly after that, head lolling off the side of the couch which Mingyu fixed quickly. Wonwoo had dragged Mingyu to his favorite corner and the pair had drifted off together. When Seungcheol had got up to leave, Soonyoung and Seokmin were on the cusp of sleep, mumbling slurred goodnights as Seungcheol helped Jeonghan to his feet.

“You two wanna borrow something to sleep in?” 

“Hoodie please.” Jeonghan replied. The boy was pulling back the covers on the bed as if it were his own. Honestly, with the amount of time he had spent in said bed, it basically was.

“Just a shirt works for me.” Joshua chimed as he stripped off his own sweater and jeans.

Seungcheol had known these replies were coming and tossed the requested clothing items as his friends said them. Jeonghan’s smacked him in the face as he turned too slowly and Joshua was able to snatch his from the air, his coordination coming back to him as the alcohol wore off. Chances were, Seungcheol wouldn’t be seeing his clothes for sometime, unless they were on his two best friends. The pair had a habit of stealing his clothes but Seungcheol didn’t mind, he never seemed to mind when it came to them.

“Who wants middle?” Joshua asked, sitting on the edge of the bed and pulling Jeonghan between his thighs.

“Cheollie should get it! Then we can cuddle him.” Jeonghan replied, voice quiet as he nuzzled his face into Joshua’s shoulder.

Seungcheol shrugged and turned away from his closet to plug his, already dead, phone in. “How could I possibly say no to that. You know the way to a man’s heart Hannie.”

“Through his hugs?” Josh asked incredulously.

“Through his  _ penis _ .” Jeonghan corrected.

Joshua smacked the boy playfully.

Seungcheol shook his head knowingly, “Both. I think a healthy mixture of both, plus a nice ass.”

“Kwannie has a nice ass.” Jeonghan noted.

“The nicest.” Joshua confirmed.

Seungcheol moved to the bed and climbed to the middle, spreading his arms to welcome his best friends to cuddle. The pair basically threw themselves to him and got comfortable under each arm. “Will you two stop thirsting after our dongsaeng? He’s a freshman.”

“You can admire a person without wanting to fuck them Cheollie,  _ god _ .”

“How conservative of you.”

Seungcheol sighed and let his head roll backwards and hit the bedframe with a soft  _ thunk _ . “Why the hell do I put up with you two. I’m serious, why have I chosen to deal with this for so long.”

Jeonghan frowned mockingly, “Tragic for you.”

“For how much you’ve complained about us, you’ve never gone out and gotten better friends.” Joshua pointed out, tapping Seungcheol’s chest a couple times.

“It almost begs the question,” Jeonghan paused to yawn, “about whether you really hate it so much.”

They high fived over Seungcheol.

“Just, go to sleep you two.”

They fell into comfortable silence. Seungcheol wasn’t sure if they were still awake, or if one was but the other wasn’t, or if both were and they both thought he was asleep, but either way he was content as it was.

The three of them were used to this, this was familiar territory for them. They would go to the parties, 11th graders almost always tagging along, 10th graders coming a little less often, and the three freshmen only coming when they pleaded for weeks beforehand to be allowed along. They would distract themselves from the pressures of work, or family, or school, or life for a few meager hours. They would relax around their classmates, play stupid games with their friends, and almost always end up together in Seungcheol’s, and occaisonally Joshua’s, bed.

It was their routine since 10th grade, when Jeonghan’s then boyfriend began dragging them out to the upperclassmen parties, integrating the grades better.

Seungcheol had dated once in high school, a girl from a private school across town who he had met at a dance competition. They had dated for around three months before calling it off. They had treated each other more like friends than partners and after a while had agreed to just be friends. Joshua had had his fair shares of relationships, but he never invested much in them and ended them pretty quickly. He had confessed to Seungcheol that he mostly only dated people because he felt like he was supposed to, never because he had ever been really interested in the people. 

Jeonghan was entirely different, and probably the most experienced of their entire friend group. He had tried dating in 9th and 10th grade, having a couple successful relationships before calling them off because “something just wasn’t there.” After a messy breakup at the end of 10th grade, Jeonghan had moved to exclusively hooking up with people, no relationships.

“Easier to protect your heart when you convince others you don’t have one, or whatever the fuck she said in that show.” Jeonghan had drunkenly spewed one night.

“What show?”

“That damn british one.”

“Cheol?” Joshua whispered into the dark a little later, startling Seungcheol from his thoughts. “You awake?”

“Yeah.” Seungcheol murmured back, “why?”

“Just bored. Hannie’s passed out.”

“Good, he can sleep off all that alcohol and weed.”

“He’s cute when he’s drunk. And high.”

“He’s cute.”

Joshua hummed in agreement, his hand slipping out of Seungcheol’s and moving to play idly with Jeonghan’s hair.

“What are you thinking about?” Joshua asked after a brief lapse of silence.

“Us. School. What comes next.”

Joshua groaned, “Why. Why would you want to think about that.”

Seungcheol shrugged as best he could with the two boys clinging to either side of him, “I just… It’s so close you know? Life is so close and I’m… not ready for it.”

He wasn’t ready to give them up. But it’s not like he could say that.

“I get it.” Joshua said, then quieter he murmured, “I get it and I wish I didn’t.”

They were quiet another few moments.

“Do you think we’ll stay friends?”

Seungcheol didn’t elaborate if he meant the entire group, or just the three of them, or even just the two of them. He was scared of what the answer would be.

“I don’t know. I like to think we will. But I just- our lives are taking us in different directions and I don’t wanna dream of something that will never be.” Joshua said.

Seungcheol shifted so he could see the younger better. “Dream? You dream about this?”

“Sometimes,” Joshua admitted, “Sometimes I let myself imagine what it would be like if we stayed close.”

Joshua was just as vague about who exactly he meant. Seungcheol didn’t ask.

“But life is scary. Unpredictable. So I don’t let myself hope.” Joshua finished firmally, eyes resolute on the ceiling.

“I wish I could be just a little more sure, a little more knowledgeable about what happens in life. Like I wish I could have a plan that would happen. I don’t like not knowing.” Seungcheol whispered, turning his eyes to the ceiling too.

“How boring,” Joenghan’s sleepy voice said, “I like uncertainty. I like not knowing. Everything is a possibility if you have no idea what’s coming.”

Joshua turned on his side so he could look directly at Jeonghan, “I think I’m a mix between you two. Like I  _ know _ that there’s no way that I can plan for whatever life is gonna throw at me and that idea scares me and excites me.”

Jeonghan and Seungcheol both made noises of agreement.

“There. That’s how I feel!” Seungcheol said, “Shua, for someone who still forgets how to say ‘help me’ in Korean, you’re better at speaking it than I am.”

“I don’t forget, I just choose not to hear Boo when he says it.”

Seungcheol and Jeonghan burst into peals of laughter.

“Yeah yeah, laugh all you want,” Joshua grumbled, “You would be doing it too if he was always asking you for english pickup lines to use on Sollie.”

They fell into silence once again. Seungcheol let his head tip backwards again and returned his gaze to the ceiling. His fan was languidly spinning in circles, a small clicking noise emitting from it.

“What are we gonna do?” Jeonghan’s voice was soft, and slightly timid, as if he were scared to pierce the comfort that came with silence.

Joshua shifted to peer at Jeonghan, “With what?”

“Next year, our life, time.”

“If I knew, I would tell you.” Seungcheol answered.

“I think that time is just going to continue on, with or without us.”

Jeonghan hummed, “I don’t really wanna wake up in the morning.”

Seungcheol furrowed his eyebrows, “What’s wrong Hannie?”

“In the morning, I don’t get to lay here with you guys. I have to go out and face everything.”

Joshua laced his fingers with Jeonghan’s and laid them on Seungcheol’s stomach. “We can lay here as long as you want Han.”

“Then I choose a lifetime.”

“Why not just say forever?”

“Because,” Jeonghan paused and averted his gaze, “Because I don’t believe in forever.”

  
  
  


Light streamed through the blinds in distorted streams. Seungcheol rolled over with a groan, knocking his shoulder against Joshua’s head by accident. Josh whined and also rolled over, scooting closer to Seungcheol’s back and burying his head in his neck. On his otherside, Jeonghan was still comfortably sleeping, knees pulled up and face relaxed as he slept in Seungcheol’s arms.

Jeonghan had been right the night before. Seungcheol absolutely did not want to leave the bed.

By Jeonghan’s head, his phone was buzzing incessantly with text notifications, miraculously not waking the sleeping boy. Seungcheol groped around for a moment before grabbing the phone and checking the messages.

Two from Mingyu asking if they were awake and if they wanted breakfast, which had been three minutes ago. 5 from Soonyoung from the night before asking him for his opinion on a youtube video about a woman who raised ferrets for a living. And finally several missed texts and calls from Jeonghan’s parents.

They had a rocky relationship at best. Jeonghan was the youngest brother of three and had had a mostly normal childhood, as his brothers were always around to take care of him. They were much older, one was off and married in Busan and the other had kids in Incheon. His parents were rarely home, his mom was a creative director for an international company, so she was constantly on the go to meet with clients. His dad was home even less. He was a pilot on international flights and would be gone months at a time on work and training others.

“Hannie,” Seungcheol murmured, his voice deeper from sleep,” Han your parents are blowing up your phone.”

“Tell them to fuck off.” Jeonghan replied, scooting closer to Seungcheol.

“I’m not telling your parents to fuck off, no matter how much they deserve it.”

“Just ignore them then, my mom’s leaving tomorrow so it doesn’t matter anyways.”

Seungcheol obeyed and set the phone down, resuming his place between the two.

From behind him, Josh asked, “If she’s leaving tomorrow shouldn’t you reply?”

Jeonghan grumbled and flipped Joshua off, “If she needed me so badly she would stick around more often.”

“What if it’s an emergency?” He reasoned.

“If it was an emergency my brothers would be calling too. And they’re not.” Jeonghan took a steadying breath and propped himself on his elbows to look at the other two, “Please let it rest, we got in a fight on Thursday and I’m not trying to see her anytime soon.”

“Is that why you slept over on Thursday?” Josh asked, also getting onto his elbows.

“Yeah, you were in such a good mood because of the NYU admittance I didn’t want to ruin your mood with our petty fight.”

“Hannie,” Joshua leaned over to gently tap his best friend on the cheek, “Silly boy, always talk to me when you need to.”

“Uh me too,” Seungcheol chimed, “Just, ya know, for the record… talk to me if you need me.”

“I know I know, seriously guys don’t worry about it. It was a petty argument anyways.” Jeonghan soothed their worries with a quick wave of his hand. “Now that we’re up, I guess we need to make breakfast for the kids.”

“Mingyu texted you too,” Seungcheol said, “He’s making breakfast, we can stay here for another, like, fifteen minutes before absolutely needing to leave.”

“Thank god,” Josh flopped back, “I was not ready to face them, especially hungover.”

Jeonghan gave a thumbs up, “I am with you all the way, Shua.”

Seungcheol pulled them both closer, “I’ll get you two advil in a second, for now, just relax. We got time.”

  
  
  


Breakfast was spent lazily, everyone scattered around the kitchen and living room, talking and attempting to wake up. Saturdays were typically busy days for most of them, they had various clubs and sports and volunteering commitments, but this Saturday had been blissfully left open.

Jihoon was sitting at the kitchen counter on his phone when Seungcheol entered to clear his and Seokmin’s plates away. 

“Did you see this?” Jihoon asked, turning his phone so Seungcheol could see the email.

It was an advertisement for a recording studio on the lower side of town. It was only $200 an hour.

Seungcheol grabbed the phone and brought it closer to his face, not quite believing the numbers, “Holy shit.”

He looked up to see Jihoon’s wide smile, “Well?”

“Shit Hoonie,” Seungcheol handed the phone back and ran his hand through his hair, “Fuck, that’s the cheapest by so much. Do you… Well is it… Could we do it?”

“Easily. Two hours is all we would need anyways.” Jihoon said.

“So?”

“So, I say we go and look at it, maybe later today or tomorrow. What do you think?”

“Yes! Hell yes!”

Seungcheol and Jihoon had worked together on music since Jihoon’s freshman year. They had been friends before, met through Soonyoung, but their shared torture of music theory had made them even closer. After a while, they began experimenting with soundboards together, and later moved on to making full songs, wrangling their friends in to sing for them. 

They had dreamed of having a recording studio for so long, but all the studios in their area cost a fortune and barely made it worth it.

“How about tomorrow morning at 11?” Jihoon asked, pulling up the website on his phone.

“Perfect, sounds perfect.”

“And if we like it we can book it for sometime next week, maybe Thursday or Friday after school if they’re open.”

“God you have the sexiest mind.”

Jihoon gave him a perplexed look, “A  _ what _ ?”

“I like the way you think Hoonie! A sexy brain for a sexy man.”

Jihoon shook his head in equal parts exasperation and amusement, “You’ve been spending too much time with Jeonghan-hyung.”

“You can never have too much time with me,” Jeonghan chimed as he came into the kitchen, hands full of dishes which he dumped into the sink. “Especially not Cheollie.”

Jihoon scoffed, “Oh trust me I know.”

Seungcheol hit him on the back of his head as Jeonghan smirked and took a much too smug sip of his coffee.

  
  
  
  


The day was spent pleasantly, if a little uneventful. They all lazed around Seungcheol’s house, putting on movies that no one could focus on, playing board games on the living room floor, engaging in a rather violent round of mafia that no doubt scarred Seungkwan.

Seungkwan, Hansol, and Chan all took the bus home together in the evening, their parents demanding them home. Soonyoung and Mingyu left together a bit after them, meeting up to get dinner with some friends they had. The rest of them had dinner together at Seungcheol’s, Joshua making them some traditional pasta dish that he had learned in Home Ec. Afterwards, Minghao and Seokmin left to watch a movie and Jihoon left for home. Wonwoo bid them goodnight a bit later, also returning home to do some weekend homework.

Around nine, Jun and Jeonghan began bustling around and gathering their things.

Joshua sat up from where he was reclining on one of the living room arm chairs, “Are you two leaving already?”

“Party.” Jun called back, “Seungcheollie-hyung do you still have that blue top that Soonie left here?”

“Lowest drawer on the left,” Seungcheol called back, “Let him know you’re taking it!”

Jun came into the living room with the top already on, giving them a quick spin, “I asked in the morning. How do I look?”

“Hot.”

“Good.”

Joshua and Seungcheol replied. Jun smiled and left once again, calling out, “Han, are you done with your makeup?”

Joshua turned to Seungcheol with wide eyes, “Did you know they were going out? Where are they going anyways? Do they have a ride or a place to stay?”

“Woah Shua, take a breath,” Seungcheol said, knowing the feeling of panicking for the pair all too well, “I had no idea they were going out but they’re responsible.”

Joshua looked unimpressed.

“Junnie always looks out for him, we need to trust them.”

Joshua nodded this time, albeit hesitantly. Seungcheol leaned around the couch and patted him on the shoulder. It wasn’t like there was anything they could do, Junhui and Jeonghan went to these parties nearly every weekend. Most of the time they were college parties, invited through old seniors or friends they’ve met through said parties. It was a stress reliever for them, and they knew how to handle themselves.

Still, Seungcheol couldn’t deny the queasy feeling he got everytime Jeonghan mentioned in passing that he would be going. Their local university wasn’t horrible, rather prestigious really, but it had a bad rep for sexual assault and cover ups. Seungcheol knew that the two were smart, they watched over each other diligently and rarely left the other’s side. But Seungcheol also knew that mistakes could happen.

Jeonghan strut into the room and gave them a twirl. His silk shirt was left open at the top, revealing smooth skin beneath. He had simple, but delicate makeup on that softened his features impossibly. 

“Opinions?”

“If you weren’t leaving I would drag you back to Seungcheol’s room this second and give you the best nigh-”

Seungcheol cut Joshua off, “We get it Josh. We get it, trust me. Just- we all have that visual in our heads now so thank you for that.”

Jeonghan was bright red but smiling widely, “Time and place Joshuji, all yours.”

Josh snickered and nodded his approval, smile just as wide as Jeonghan’s. Jeonghan turned to Seungcheol.

“You look amazing Hannie. I think Josh covered it pretty well honestly. Like, really hot.”

Jeonghan’s smile turned smug and slightly teasing, “Oh really? You agree with Shua?”

“Hell yeah, I’d have to be blind not to.” Seungcheol said, his own cheeks heating up. 

Joshua whistled, “Hot as hell Jeonghannie. Offer stands baby.”

Seungcheol’s stomach turned, but for a good reason this time. The idea of Josh and Jeonghan together in Seungcheol’s room did something to him. He had entertained the thought before but having them here, right in front of him, talking so freely about it made hope swell in his chest. And unfortunately somewhere else.

“Han-hyung we need to go!” Jun called, emerging with one of Seungcheol’s jean jackets in his hand, “Hyung can I-”

Seungcheol was already nodding, “Go for it.”

“Is Sungwoon-hyung here?” Jeonghan asked, grabbing Joshua’s jean jacket with a pointed look at the other who waved him off.

“Yeah he just texted.” Jun answered, taking his and Josh’s empty glasses to the kitchen while Jeonghan stuffed his stuff into his worn bag.

“And is Minhyuk gonna be there?”

“How would I know?” Jun bit back, reentering and positioning himself by the front door and whining, “Hyung!”

“Coming!” Jeonghan called, stuffing his backpack behind the seat that Josh was sitting in and ruffling the other’s head as he went, “Look after that, yeah? Junnie is Seulgi gonna be there?”

“I think so? Now hurry up.”

Jeonghan rushed past Seungcheol, backtracking quickly to give him a hug before running to the door and slipping on his shoes.

“Bye guys, have fun without me!” He said with a coy wink, following Junhui out the door before stopping and popping his head back in, “I’ll text you guys okay?”

“Have fun!”

“Be safe Hannie!”

Jeonghan gave them a thumbs up before slamming the door closed, his voice distantly shouting, “Woonie-hyung you ready for the time of your life!”

Joshua shook his head with a fond smile, “He’s something isn’t he.”

“He is,” Seungcheol replied, “And so are you.”

“Was I too forward?” Josh asked, nerves making his smile fade much too quickly for Seungcheol’s liking, “Do you think he thought I was being too pushy? Or like I only like him for his body or something like that?”

“What? No!” The thought of Joshua being too pushy was almost laughable. The boy was nothing if not courteous. “Josh seriously, did you see how he responded? He was just as into it, I promise.”

Joshua nodded, his eyes fixated somewhere else, “Good, good, I just… yeah.” He shook himself from his stupor and turned to Seungcheol with bright eyes. The eyes that made Seungcheol fall for him in the first place. “Movie? It’s my pick this time.”

“Does that rule apply if Jeonghan isn’t here?” Seungcheol asked, “Cause I don’t think it does.”

“Ridiculous, of course it does.” Josh got up and made his way onto the couch beside Seungcheol. Seungcheol smiled and wrapped an arm around the other’s, frankly huge, shoulders.

“What are we watching then? You know that means that next time Hannie gets to choose and he’s been dying to watch that weird ass movie.”

“Mulholland Drive?”

“Yeah that one!” Seungcheol shook his head, “Don’t get why he wants to watch it so bad.”

“C’mon Cheol, you should know this by now!” Joshua said, leaning back to look Seungcheol in the eye, “What is one of Hannie’s favorite TV shows.”

“Summer Heights High? Which I still don’t understand.”

“Because it’s fucking hilarious? But no, not that one, the other one.”

Seungcheol thought for a second. Jeonghan liked a lot of TV shows, or at least he always seemed fine with whatever shows the other kids put on. But there were only a few that he ever woke Seungcheol up at 4 in the morning to rant about.

“Twin Peaks!” Seungcheol almost yelled.

“Ding ding ding,” Joshua replied, somehow both teasing and proud, “And the director of Twin Peaks, one messed up dude named David Lynch, also directed Mulholland Drive.”

“Are you serious? That’s why he wants to watch it?”

Josh nodded and settled back on the couch, “That and I bribed him with lunch if he promised to choose it next time it was his turn.”

“You little-”

  
  
  
  


Seungcheol woke up sometime later to his phone buzzing on the coffee table. Josh was asleep on his shoulder, their second movie of the night, Finding Nemo, was still playing on the TV. Seungcheol groaned and stretched, moving Josh off his shoulder and onto the arm of the couch instead, draping the throw blanket on top of him.

His phone was still buzzing with an incoming call and he reached to answer, glancing briefly at the caller ID. His heart stuttered when he saw Jun’s name, suddenly feeling much more alert than before.

“Jun? What’s wrong? Are you okay? Do-”

“Hyung!” Jun’s voice came through Seungcheol’s phone loud and panicked, “Hyung I need your help you need to come get us! It’s an emergency!”

“Jun what happened?” Seungcheol asked, trying to keep his voice level as his heartbeat became rapid.

“Hyung I’m serious we need you here like, right now. Can you come get us?”

“Of course I can! But what’s wrong?”

“We need help! Bring Joshua-hyung too!” Jun sounded more panicked, nearly on the verge of tears. Seungcheol was unsure if he had ever heard the younger sound so distraught.

“Send the address.” Seungcheol said. He leaned over and shook Joshua awake, who grumbled and batted his hand away.

“I already sent it. Hyung it’s- please we need help.” And now Seungcheol was sure Jun was crying, his voice breaking at the end of his sentence. “He needs help.”

“Josh, I'm serious, get up.” Seungcheol’s voice sounded stern and mean even to his own ears.

Josh shot up, eyes still closed. “I’m up.”

“Hurry hyung. Oh god please hurry.”

The line cut.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW description of attempted sexual assault and aftermath of being drugged, please please don't read if this will harm you, your well being always comes first

Seungcheol and Joshua rushed to grab their shoes and throw on jackets. Seungcheol’s heart was beating out of his chest, but his surroundings were slow and delayed. It felt as though he were moving through water, against the tide. None of their movements felt fast enough.

Jun and Jeonghan had only ever called him once before, during the fall semester. The pair had been on their way back to Jun’s apartment when they felt as though they were being followed. Jeonghan had called around one in the morning and used one of their old code words, _sweetener_ , to request his help. Seungcheol had never driven so fast in his life.

Now, there was no subtly. There were no code words or faux calmness. There had only been panic in Jun’s voice, fear and desperation. Seungcheol couldn’t help but let his mind wander, to think of all the horrible possibilities there could be.

Once in the car, Josh reached over and took his hand. His grip was firm, though his hands were clammy and cold. Seungcheol had briefly told him what was happening while they had grabbed their things, but Seungcheol had limited information himself, so there was very little he could actually do for the other.

For now, they both had to be content with grasping each other’s hands over the middle console as the directions played.

It was only a twelve minute drive, according to the phone, but Seungcheol was determined to make it less.

Seungcheol lived on the outskirts of the city, in a small cluster of houses known as The Fish Scales because of the pattern the streets made. It was quiet for the most part, but because of its proximity to the university they had their fair share of college parties and students looking for housing. He had never been so thankful for living so close to the student housing.

They pulled up to the curb across the street from the party and ran to the house. There were kids milling around on the front lawn and porch, some raising their drinks in greetings to the two high schoolers. Seungcheol spotted Seulgi talking to another senior at the high school named Bobby.

Seungcheol glanced to make sure Joshua was still with him before hurrying to the familiar faces.  
“Bobby!” He called. The other turned and nodded when he saw the other two approaching. “Jeonghan? Where is he, man?”

Bobby grimaced slightly before gesturing down the street, “Junnie took him down to the bus stop. They didn’t look too good, I think Jongin and Minki are with them.”

“Thanks!” Seungcheol replied offhandedly, already grabbing Josh’s hand and dragging him back to the sidewalk, taking off towards the bus stop.

Four figures were at the bench. Jun was sitting with Jeonghan leaning against him. Jongin was kneeling in front of them, hand rubbing circles on Jun’s knee. Minki was standing behind them on the phone, one hand carded through Jeonghan’s hair.

“Baekho please, just tell me the after effects, no one has good service here and we’re trying to figure out if we should make him throw up or not.” Minki was saying as they approached, waving them over when he spotted them. “We can’t tell, no one saw it happen! Baekho wait- _wait_ , you’re not making any sense.”

“Seungcheol-hyung!” Jun said, his voice cracking as tears began leaking down his cheek. The younger boy was cradling one hand to his chest, blood dried on his knuckles. Seungcheol was in front of him in a second, Jongin moving to make room for him. Joshua passed him to check on Jeonghan. “Hyung I don’t know how it happened I’m sorry!”

Seungcheol shushed him and wiped at his tears as gently as he could muster with his shaking hands. He wanted to check on Jeonghan, but Jun was his immediate concern. He had called out to him, he needed him. So Seungcheol had to trust Josh with Jeonghan, no matter how much it hurt him.

“It’s okay Junnie, hyung’s here.” Seungcheol said, wiping at the incessant tears and trying to get the younger to look at him, “Jun look at me, it’s okay now, I’m gonna take care of you guys.”

“Seungcheol,” Josh called, “Seungcheol, Jeonghannie…”

Seungcheol glanced over. He had yet to hear a word from Jeonghan, who he had assumed was either too tired or too out of it to respond. He wasn’t expecting to see Jeonghan completely passed out, jacket hanging oddly off of one shoulder, shirt open.

“Oh god,” Seungcheol murmured, hand coming up to cover his mouth. Jun’s crying started up anew. “Oh god, what happened? Jongin-ssi?”

“I don’t know, I just saw Jun struggling to help Jeonghan outside so I went to help him too. I thought he had had too much to drink which is like, really stupid because I know Jeonghan is careful-”

“What happened!” Seungcheol demanded, knowing that the elder rambled when he was nervous. They had been in the same literature class and Seugncheol had seen his fair share of presentations from the elder.

“Right sorry, I helped them out here and Jun was crying but I couldn’t understand what he was saying, it was mostly pet names in Mandarin I think, and Minki came with us and Jun demanded he call you for help and he said he thinks Jeonghannie got roofied or something.”

“Roofied!” Joshua said, now kneeling in front of Jeonghan and peering up at the other. “How do you know? Jun what _happened_.”

“I-” Jun cut himself off with a small hiccup and a shake of his head.

Behind them, Minki hung up and came around to join the others in front. “Baekho says we shouldn’t make him throw up, if he’s unconscious it could make him choke on something. He said now that he's with people who will keep him safe we should get him to bed and have water and advil ready in the morning. And answers.”

“Answers?” Seungcheol asked, hand reaching out to grasp Jeonghan’s limp one. Jun’s arm, that protectively wrapped around the unconscious boy, tightened as he ducked his head.

“Answers to what happened. Baekho said most date rape drugs have memory loss side effects.”

“Date rape.” Joshua breathed out. “Oh god I’m gonna be sick.”

“Josh we gotta get him home. Like now.” Seungcheol said, standing and looking down at the slumped forms of his friends, “Junnie can you walk on your own?”

Jun nodded dazedly, eyes unfocused and shining with more tears. He stood on unsteady feet and held on to Jeonghan’s shoulders to keep the boy up. Seungcheol ducked and took the space besides Jeonghan that Jun had just occupied, slinging his limp arm over his shoulder. Joshua took the hint and mirrored him on the other side. Together, they hoisted Jeonghan up and supported him between them.

“Cheol this isn’t gonna work, we need to put him on my back or something.” Joshua said after they had taken a few teetering steps. 

Minki rushed forward to help, Jongin standing uncertainly a few feet away.

“Here, Seungcheol and I will lift him on to your back, will you make it to the car?” The other boy said.

“Yeah I’ll be fine, just hurry.”

Minki and Seungcheol lifted the still unconscious Jeonghan onto Joshua’s back, securing his arms around his neck and helping lift his legs to where Joshua could hold them steady.

“Jongin-ssi, will you help Jun to the car?” Seungcheol asked, “It’s across the street from the party.”

“Of course!” Jongin seemed happy to have something to do, putting a steadying hand on the small of Jun’s back and leading the younger down the street.

“Okay Josh, let’s go. Minki and I will follow you in case he starts to slip.”

They made it to the car fine and positioned Jeonghan in the back, head laying on Josh’s lap. Jun took the front seat, having calmed down, though he still glanced to the back seat with worry in his eyes. Seungcheol thanked their two friends and bid them goodnight, promising to keep them updated about Jeonghan’s condition as the night wore on.

“Alright Junnie, I know it’s hard but _please_ explain what you know if you can.” Seungcheol all but pleaded with the other boy, “Anything you could tell us. Do we have to go to the hospital? Was there-”

“Hyung,” Jun cut him off, sounding tired and defeated, “Hyung I’ll tell you all I know, I promise, but just, just calm down, okay? Take some deep breaths.” Jun turned in his seat to shoot Joshua a knowing look, “You too.”

They waited in silence for several beats as the pair did as they were told. Seungcheol loosened his grip on the steering wheel as he did so, trying to relax himself. He wouldn’t do Jeonghan any good by being pent up and impulsive.

“The party was more crowded than we expected and Sungwoon said we wouldn’t stay long because even he didn’t recognize everyone there.” Jun started, hands wringing in his lap as he told the story, “We managed to stay together most of the night, surprisingly, and Jongin-hyung and Minki-hyung kept us company. But there was like, 5 minutes, literally only 5 minutes I _swear_ where we were separated. Hannie-hyung was talking to some guy that graduated last year and I saw Taeil-hyung and wanted to talk to him.”

Jun paused to take a gasping breath as his voice started to shake. Seungcheol reached over with one hand and grabbed Jun’s shaking hand, hoping to offer some comfort to his dongsaeng.

With a shuddering sigh, Jun continued, “When Jeonghan came back he seemed fine, if a little more drunk than before. But then he started stumbling and couldn’t stand straight and he was complaining about the lights. I took him to the bathroom and left him there to find Sungwoon-hyung and told him we needed to leave and when I came back the asshole he was talking to was trying to take Jeonghan’s shirt off and hyung was completely out of it.”

Jun took another shaky gasp of breath and Seungcheol tightened his grip on his hand. Worry gnawed at him and he checked the rearview mirror to see Joshua looking down with tearfilled eyes, hand delicately carding through Jeonghan’s hair.

“I punched him.” Jun said suddenly, as though just realizing what he did. “I punched him so hard I think I split my knuckles.”

Seungcheol nodded, “We’ll check them back at my house. If anything seems sprained or broken I’ll take you to the hospital, okay?”

“Cheol how are we gonna explain this to Hannie?” Joshua asked, voice quiet and hesitant.

“I don’t know Shua, I really really don’t know.”

  
  
  


Jun stayed the night at Seungcheol’s, unsurprisingly. He was shaken and needed comfort, which wouldn’t come if he went back to his own empty apartment. Seungcheol set up a bed on the floor of his room, insisting the other three take his bed instead. 

Jun’s hand seemed fine, though they were going to check his wrist again in the morning in case it had been sprained. His knuckles were split open and bloodied, but Joshua made quick work of cleaning them and wrapping them, giving Jun light painkillers just in case.

Jeonghan didn’t rouse when they brought him inside or laid him on the bed. He grumbled slightly when Joshua accidentally knocked his foot on the doorframe, and whined lightly when they stripped him and put him in a hoodie. Besides that, his eyes remained shut and his breath steady.

Jun laid on the bed facing Jeonghan and seemed content with watching his sleeping hyung.

Joshua sat on the ground besides Seungcheol and leaned against the bed with a heavy sigh.

“We’ll be there for him.” Joshua murmured, his voice just below a whisper. “When he wakes up, we’ll be there for him and support him with whatever he needs.”

Seungcheol nodded, “No matter what, we’re taking care of him.”

“He hates being taken care of.”

“I know.”

“He’s gonna try to push us away. Or pretend that he’s fine.”

Seungcheol ran a hand through his hair, “I know. I know but how- how do we- Joshua how are we gonna help someone who hates accepting help. How are we gonna help someone who doesn’t think they’re worthy of help.”

Joshua’s head landed on Seungcheol’s shoulder, startling Seungcheol. “If I knew I would tell you, Cheol. But I have no clue. And it scares me that we could do more harm than good.”

“You won’t. _We_ won’t. If there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that neither of us could ever hurt that idiot.”

They lapsed into silence for a little. Seungcheol guessed it was getting close to two in the morning by then, but sleep seemed far off. He wasn’t sure if Jun was still awake, the younger hadn’t said anything for some time now, but Seungcheol didn’t have the energy to check. Beside him, Joshua shifted further into his side, seeking comfort that Seungcheol hoped he could provide.

Seungcheol tangled their hands together, “You should try to sleep.”

Joshua hummed but stayed resolutely by his side.

Seungcheol squeezed his hand twice, “I’m serious Jisoo, try to sleep. I’ll wake you up if anything happens.”

“Why do you get to stay up and I don’t?” Joshua asked, tone teasing.

They both knew that Joshua would stay up as long as Seungcheol did. They both knew that neither of them would rest until they knew Jeonghan was okay. Seunghceol doubted that they would rest even then.

“Okay okay, I’ll _allow_ you to stay up with me, but we’re moving to the bed. When Hannie wakes up, I want us there to help.” Seungcheol appeased. He stood up and stretched, helping Josh to his feet when the younger stuck his hand out expectantly.

“You can be such a pushover.” Joshua quipped.

Seungcheol knocked their shoulders together with a scowl, “Watch your mouth.”

“Or what? You’ll _punish_ me?”

“You’re quite sexual for how goodie goodie you always act.”

Josh shrugged and got comfortable sitting up and leaning against the wall besides Jeonghan. “That happens when you’ve been friends with Hannie for so long.”

Jun watched them through half lidded eyes, cracking a smile at Josh’s explanation but not joining in. Seungcheol could feel the exhaustion seeping off the younger and he wanted to urge the boy to sleep, but knew he wouldn’t listen.

Seungcheol climbed onto the bed and tapped Josh’s ankle. The other took the hint and pulled his legs up, making space for Seungcheol at the foot of the bed. 

“So?”

Joshua tilted his head, “So?”

“So, Shua, what grand topic do you want to discuss while we stay up?”

Joshua grinned at that. Seungcheol had a habit asking questions in strange ways when he felt pressured to speak to ease the tension.

“Well, Coupsie, whatever topic your heart pleases.” Joshua replied.

They both knew that it wasn’t ‘whatever your heart pleases’, they both knew there were plenty of topics that they couldn’t touch right now.

“How’s the tutoring going with the freshmen?” Seungcheol asked, tone light.

A safe question, an easy topic.

“They need a lot of work. Seungkwannie gets distracted more often than he pays attention, Hansol spends half the time doodling on his worksheets, and Chan wanders off topic so often I worry about whether he knows what subject I’m tutoring him in.”

Seungcheol chuckled at the description of their antics. Joshua had taken over for tutoring their youngest friends at the beginning of the spring semester after all three of them struggled with their first semester grades. 

“Do you think they’re improving? I mean all three were pretty hopeless last semester.” Seungcheol said.

Joshua turned to look out the window before answering, “I think so, their test scores have been improving and-”

“‘Shua?” A groggy voice asked, “Shua what-”

Seungcheol, Joshua, and Jun all sat up and hovered over a clearly disoriented Jeonghan who was struggling to sit up.

“Hannie, how are you feeling baby?” Joshua asked, voice low and soothing as he helped Jeonghan to a sitting position.

“Where… Junnie… Jun-” Jeonghan’s head lolled down and he took a deep breath.

Jun leaned forward so he was in Jeonghan’s line of sight and reached out to touch Jeonghan before hesitating and retracting his hand.

“I’m right here, hyung, I’m okay. Do you need anything, are you hurt?”

Jeonghan groaned and lurched forward, gagging slightly with a small whimper.

“Dizzy,” Jeonghan whimpered again, “Junnie where…”

Jun looked alarmed, “Why doesn’t he know I’m here. Hyung I’m here, hyung I’m okay.”

Seungcheol felt so, so helpless. “Angel can you hear us? Han, do you know where you are.”

Jeonghan gagged again, then let out a small sob, “Cheolie. I want Cheolie.”

Seungcheol almost fell in his haste to get positioned in front of Jeonghan. The younger boy’s eyes were hazy and unfocused, unshed tears glistening in them.

“Jeonghan? Jeonghan how can we help?” Seungcheol looked to the others, who looked just as concerned and hopeless, “What do we do?”

“Cheol!” Jeonghan whimpered again, his head dipping down and hair falling in front of his face, “Shua. Joshua please. Where’s Junnie?”

Jeonghan coughed, once, twice, then his body shuddered with a gag before he was slumping into Seungcheol’s arms fully, body bent forward at an odd angle.

Seungcheol felt panic bubble up and he frantically pushed Jeonghan up. He was unconscious again, face lax and head lolled to the side.

Joshua clapped a hand over his mouth as tears slipped down his cheeks, “Oh god oh god oh god-”

“Shua if you’re gonna be sick go to the bathroom,” Seungcheol commanded, adrenaline lighting in him as he gently laid Jeonghan back with trembling hands. “Jun, make sure he’s breathing.”

Joshua scrambled from the bed and to Seungcheol’s trash can where he crouched and dry heaved several times. Jun put a finger beneath Jeonghan’s nose and another on his chest, checking for breaths. Seungcheol grasped Jeonghan’s wrist in one hand, trying not to hold it too tight as he checked for a pulse. It was there, and steady if not a bit slower than it should be.

“His breathing is fine, a little short but regular enough.” Jun reported, leaning back onto his heels with a huff of breath.

Seungcheol nodded once and leaned back as well. “Pulse is steady but slow. I wonder if- do you know the regular side effects of a date rape drug? Like are we sure we shouldn’t take him to the hospital?”

Joshua stood then, face pale and eyes still spilling tears, “I’ll look online right now. We can call Baekho-hyung too, if we need.”

“Yeah,” Seungcheol chewed on his bottom lip, mind racing, “Yeah we’ll do that.”

“Dizziness, lack of coordination, slurred speech, confusion,” Joshua read, “drowsiness, loss of motor control, impaired judgement, slowed heart rate. But he’s showing no signs of an overdose. I don’t think he needs the hospital.”

As he spoke, Joshua climbed back onto the bed and situated himself next to Jeonghan. He wiped at the tears on his cheeks with trembling hands.

“What are the symptoms of an overdose? Just in case.” Jun asked.

“The breathing is the biggest symptom,” Joshua explained as he read through the article, “He’s breathing regular right now but if it gets any more abnormal we should take him in.”

Seungcheol scrubbed his face with his hand, “ _Jesus_ , okay, okay we’ll watch for that. I- do you guys want anything? It’s gonna be a long night, I could make some coffee or tea?”

“Tea!” Joshua agreed, “Some tea would be nice. Please.”

“Me too, thanks hyung.” Jun chimed, “We’ll watch him and call for you, promise.”

Seungcheol nodded and left the room. He felt dread itching under his skin just from being out of eyesight of Jeonghan, but he forced it down. Everything would be fine.

  
  
  
  


Morning came slowly. Light slowly crept into the room, basking the friends in soft warmth. Jun had nodded off just before sunrise, slouched in a sitting position leaning against the wall. Josh was hunched over, head balanced on his hand, eyes half lidded and tired. Seungcheol had urged him to sleep several times, but Josh was stubborn and after the third time Seungcheol suggested it, he stopped responding all together.

Seungcheol had kept himself busy for the most part. He got water and low strength painkillers for Jun and Jeonghan when they inevitably woke up with headaches, he had read several articles about date rape drugs and the side effects, he had started a load of laundry, unrelated but still something to do. Jeonghan’s breathing had become normal, and his pulse had returned to steady, so Seungcheol had decided they were in the clear of any serious bodily harm.

A notification on his phone shocked both him and Joshua from their stupors. It was just a text from Seokmin about a game release, but Seungcheol noted it was nearing 7 in the morning.

On the bed, Jeonghan moved for the first time. His face scrunched up in discomfort and he turned on his side, grasping for something to hold on to. Eventually, he found purchase around Joshua’s waist and settled his head against his thigh.

“S’too muscley,” Jeonghan whined slightly, nestling his head down more. 

Joshua looked mildly offended as he watched, “What- _too muscley_? Are you serious?”

Seungcheol giggled and tried to shush the other.

“What do you mean _too muscley_!” Joshua said indignantly, looking between Jeonghan and Seungcheol, who was trying to stifle his laughter, “Seungcheol am I too muscley to you?”

“Of course not Shua,” Seungcheol appeased, “Just the right amount of buff.”

Jeonghan snorted, then groaned, “My head hurts oh _god_.”

Joshua and Seungcheol shared a look and Seungcheol leaned forward to run a hand through Jeonghan’s messy hair, “Want some aspirin?”

“I don’t wanna sit up,” Jeonghan complained, but pried open his eyes and shifted to sit up anyways. Joshua supported his back as Jeonghan got comfortable. “Oh god, how much did I drink last night? My head is killing me.”

“Here, take some aspirin then we can talk, okay?” Seungcheol said, taking the water and pills from the bedside table and handing them to Josh. “I’ll go close the blinds some more, I’m sure all the light isn’t helping.”

Jeonghan swallowed down the medicine with minimal complaints, all things considered, then leaned back so he was laying against Joshua. “Okay now spill, you guys are scaring me.”

Joshua wrapped his arms around the other protectively and shot Seungcheol a helpless, almost pleading look. “Should we wake Junnie up for this?”

Seungcheol shook his head and settled by Jeonghan and Joshua’s feet at the foot of the bed, “He had a long night, we should let him sleep as long as he can.”

Jeonghan shifted nervously and glanced between the two with obvious panic, “Okay seriously what happened? I barely remember last night, did I really drink that much?”

“Not exactly,” Joshua began arms tightening around Jeonghan. “Hannie, last night…”

Seungcheol watched Joshua struggle to form the words and grasped the boy’s ankle with a reassuring, sad smile. “I got it, Shua.” Seungcheol straightened slightly and looked into Jeonghan’s eyes, wide with confusion, “Angel, last night someone roofied you.”

Jeonghan jolted slightly at the words, mouth falling open just slightly, “I- Someone- What?”

“Someone drugged you last night, Hannie. Jun got to you before they could do anything, but you were completely unconscious when we got you.”

Jeonghan looked between the two in disbelief, “I don’t… How did this happen?” He whispered, burying his face in his hands, “What exactly, like, well, what _happened_?”

“We don’t know the full story, Han, just what Jun told us, we can tell you that if you want?” Seungcheol offered, shifting up so he was crouched on his heels, head tilted as he tried to gauge Jeonghan’s emotions.

“Tell me,” Jeonghan’s voice was weak but determined, “Tell me everything.”

“What do you last remember Jeonghan, we can start from there.” Josh said. His thumb was rubbing small circles on Jeonghan’s hip bone.

Jeonghan gulped just slightly, “Dancing, Jun, Jongin-hyung, and Minki were all dancing with me when I saw Dohee, he was friends with my ex. We started talking but I lost track of Jun. I remember thinking that I had to find him, we always stay together at these parties y’know. But… but after that it’s all unclear. I heard people laughing, and I remember being with Junnie and feeling cold and lights, the lights were everywhere but… but then there’s nothing.”

By the end, Jeonghan’s hands were shaking and one moved to grasp at Joshua’s that were still holding to his waist. Seungcheol leaned forward to grasp the other and Jeonghan sent him a strained smile.

“What Jun told us was that you left to talk to a friend and returned a few minutes later stumbling and out of it. He took you to the bathroom and left to find Sungwoon so you guys could leave but when he came back,” Seungcheol stopped to clear his throat. He had to tell Jeonghan, he knew he did, “When he came back, someone was trying to take off your shirt and feel you up.”

Jeonghan whole body shuddered, “Jesus, _jesus_ how did I… god I’m so stupid!”

“What? Jeonghan no-” Joshua tried but Jeonghan pulled away from him suddenly and sat at the edge of the bed, back facing them as his whole body shook.

“God I’m usually so careful! I should’ve _known_ , how could I not know?” Jeonghan was saying, voice not exactly frantic but bordering on it. His hands were tugging on his hair and Seungcheol scrambled forward and tried to pry them away. Jeonghan yanked himself away and stood up on shaky legs, only to fall to the floor in a small heap. “I’m such a fucking idiot!”

“Hannie. Hannie!” Joshua tried, slowly climbing from the bed and settling on the ground besides Jeonghan, not daring to touch him. Jeonghan continued to mutter to himself incessantly and Joshua finally snapped, “Jeonghan!”

“Shua,” Jeonghan sobbed, suddenly throwing himself at Josh, “Shua what if it had been Jun? What if it had been Jun and I couldn’t get to him in time? What would I do then? God I can’t believe I let this happen.”

Joshua held Jeonghan at the shoulders and used one hand to turn the other’s face towards him, “Jeonghan listen to me, okay, listen carefully. Junnie is fine, he’s on the bed right now, untouched, maybe a little hungover but perfectly fine. It’s not your fault. Jeonghan, this is not your fault.”

“Not my fault,” Jeonghan parroted, “Not my- Jun! I want to see Jun.”

“I’m right here hyungie,” Jun said. He was leaning over the side of the bed looking half asleep with tousled hair and half lidded eyes. “Hi Jeonghannie hyung, good to see you awake.”

Jeonghan let out a watery laugh and launched himself at the younger with a murmured, “Oh god I’m so glad you’re okay.”

Seungcheol helped Joshua up from the ground and they returned to his bed, letting the pair reassure each other. Eventually Jeonghan pulled away and Seungcheol got a good look at him for the first time in awhile. He had smudged his makeup both in his sleep and after his brief crying. His hair was messy and sticking up at odd angles that would’ve been endearing had the circumstances been different. Jeonghan offered him a hesitant smile.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” He reassured all three of them, “Just, that’s a lot to process and I think I’m still kinda hungover… or whatever the equivalent to a drug hangover is.”

Joshua hesitated a split second before reaching out to grasp Jeonghan’s knee, “You don’t have to pretend to be fine, you know. It’s scary to think about and you don’t need to just push it away for our sakes.”

“Shua’s right, angel, whatever you’re feeling, however confusing it is, it’s valid.”

Jeonghan nodded his understanding and glanced over at Jun, “Gonna chime in?”

Jun smiled at Jeonghan’s characteristic sarcasm and shook his head, “They got the point across pretty well just,” Jun paused to brush his hand through Jeonghan’s hair, smoothing down a stubborn lock, “You can always talk to me, any of us, remember that.”

Jeonghan looked between the three of them with a weak but genuine smile. “I trust you, all of you.”

Seungcheol and Joshua shared a grateful look.

Jeonghan fidgeted, “But, let’s not tell the others. Please?” His voice lilted upwards at the end, unsure of how the other three would react to the news.

“Of course, Hannie, we can tell them whenever you feel comfortable. It’s all up to you.” Seungcheol assured him. Jeonghan shifted with a grimace and Seungcheol knew he said the wrong thing. “Jeonghan?”

“It’s just,” Jeonghan began, “It’s just that they look up to me, y’know? I don’t think I want them to know. I _don’t_ want them to know. If they knew they would look at me differently, like I’m something that needs to be protected when I’m not.”

“Okay, yeah, of course hyung, the others don’t need to know if you don’t want them to,” Jun spoke up the time, trying to calm Jeonghan from the obvious panic that was rising in him again.

“But Hannie you know that they wouldn’t look at you differently right? Like this doesn’t change anything about you.” Joshua said.

Jeonghan always had this thing, this worry, about being a good hyung. He liked having the other boys relying on him. He liked having their trust, being the one that they turned to when they needed advice or a shoulder to cry on. Because of that, it was rare that he ever really talked about his own troubles unless it was Joshua and Seungcheol, and even then it took some coaxing. Jeonghan had the idea in his head that if the others saw him struggling, they wouldn’t want to look to him for help anymore.

“Yeah, maybe.” Jeonghan replied absently, obviously not believing him.

Seungcheol knew that nothing would be easy about this.

  
  
  
  
  


Seungcheol tried to cancel with Jihoon, who he was supposed to meet at 11 at a potential music studio, but the second Jeonghan heard of his plan he was insisting that Seungcheol still go.

Jun distracted Jeonghan with some old, 80s Chinese drama that they were both cackling about, sitting curled under a blanket in the living room. Seungcheol took the distraction to drag Josh into the kitchen under the guise of getting coffee.

“I don’t want to leave,” Seungcheol said, “Would he believe me if I said Jihoon cancelled first.”

Joshua scoffed, “I don’t think even Seokminnie would believe that, and he believes everything.”

Seungcheol frowned. That was not what he wanted to hear. “I don’t think I can leave Josh, I’m pretty sure I’ll be a mess if I try to go anywhere that’s not within like, 10 feet of him.”

Joshua laughed, a bright, airy sound that he only ever did when he was taken aback, “I get it Cheol, trust me I am in the same boat. But don’t worry okay, me and Jun are gonna stay here with him and Jun said something about inviting Minghao over. He’s gonna be distracted and he’s gonna have people around him that he trusts. Try not to worry.”

Seungcheol let out a humorless chuckle, “I’m sorry do you _know_ me? I think I won’t be able to stop worrying until I’m like… dead.”

“Cheol, we got this okay? Trust me and Jun.” Joshua said with imploring, honest eyes.

Seungcheol pursed his lips before nodding decisively. Jeonghan seemed to want normal, he wanted everything to go on like last night had never happened. If Seungcheol leaving to go on this appointment would help Jeonghan’s peace of mind, then obviously Seungcheol was happy to oblige. Or at least kinda happy to oblige, even now he could feel anxiety welling up inside of him at not having both Jeonghan and Jun in his immediate eyesight.

“I trust you, all of you,” Seungcheol said before taking a deep breath and admitting, “Though I may start crying the second I’m not in your immediate vicinity.”

Josh chuckled and patted him a few times on the arm, “If you do, I want Jihoon to video it.”

Seungcheol scowled and slapped the other’s hand away, making his way back to the living room, “Fuck you and your devil best friend.”

Jeonghan looked up at the mention of him and frowned, “What the hell, what did I do?”

“You corrupted our gentleman Joshua into an evil little shit stain.”

Jeonghan giggled and settled himself back into Jun’s side with a satisfied smile, “I did, didn’t I. Kudos to myself.”

  
  
  


Seungcheol was good at compartmentalizing, shoving things away in his head until he could better deal with it. It was handy to be able to prioritize when you’re the eldest of twelve teen boys. However, the skill was failing him now as he and Jihoon followed the studio manager on a tour.

Jihoon had immediately picked up on Seungcheol’s off mood and asked what was wrong. Seungcheol hadn’t planned ahead far enough to think of an excuse to his mood and had stuttered out that he hadn’t slept well, which Jihoon hadn’t bought at all.

Even now, as they wove from one studio to the other and the manager explained what was equipped in each, Seungcheol was barely paying attention. Jihoon was shooting him confused looks as he tried to ask the right questions. Seungcheol felt bad, they both had been so excited for the studio and the prospect of finally making music together, but he couldn’t shake the anxiety that was plaguing him. Every time his phone chimed, he scrambled to check it and finally, after the fifth time of struggling to pull it from his jeans pocket, he settled with just grasping his phone in his hands.

They ended the tour and Jihoon and Seungcheol were given a few minutes to discuss before either signing a rent agreement or not.

“Okay hyung spill, you’ve been distracted and jumpy all morning.” Jihoon said, crossing his arms and leaning back against the wall.

Seungcheol raked his hand through his hair, just noticing that his hands were shaking, “Shit Hoonie, I’m sorry, this was really shitty of me, wasn’t it?”

Jihoon’s expression softened, “No hyung, I’m not mad I’m just worried, this isn’t like you at all.”

“It was a long night.” Seungcheol said, “I didn’t sleep much and, well, I have a lot to think about.”

Jihoon nodded in understanding and offered Seungcheol a small smile, “I know you were distracted and not really paying attention, but I took some notes on this place if you want to take a look at them before we make a decision.”

Seungcheol’s heart swelled at the thoughtfulness. He and Jihoon had been friends for a while now and though they weren’t as close as he was to Jeonghan and Joshua, Jihoon was still just as attentive and understanding. “How are you so sweet?”

Jihoon’s face screwed up in disgust, “Yuck, who said I was sweet. Shut up.”

Seungcheol grinned and brought the younger in for a quick hug. He pulled away and said, “Look I want to do this. I want to make music with you, if you think this is a good place for us I say we book it.”

“You idiot, you trust me too much.” Jihoon shook his head in exasperation, but a small smile had snuck it’s way onto his face. “But I think we should do it.”

“Then fuck it, let’s do it.”

They signed an agreement with the manager that would rent out a studio for the next month with an allotted 5 hours a week. Jihoon and Seungcheol booked it for 2 hours on Friday and Sunday afternoons and, because they were new signers and long term renters, they were given a discount from $200 to $150, which was much more realistic for two high school boys.

Seungcheol brought Jihoon back to his house after they were done, feeling a tad more like himself. He shot Joshua a text to warn him and only got a vague dog sticker as a response.

They were back at Seungcheol’s a little after 1 in the afternoon with two bags of takeout and high spirits.

Upon entering the house, the pair found Jeonghan, Joshua, Jun, and Minghao gathered in the living room sitting in a circle on the ground. Jun and Minghao’s friendship was somewhat of an anomaly to everyone, including the two in question. Where Jun was eccentric and off kilter, Minghao was reserved and outspoken. Minghao was witty whereas Jun was goofy and when the pair first met, neither could really believe they could be friends. And yet, a tentative friendship had bloomed between the two, that soon had grown into a strong companionship. It could’ve been because of their contrasting personalities, or possibly in spite of it, but somehow the pair were soon inseparable.

“Okay guys, would you rather suck Lance Bass’s peanut butter covered dick or have Steve Irwin suck _your_ peanut butter covered dick?” Jeonghan asked them as they walked in. “Hypothetically of course.”

“Right because obviously Steve Irwin is just dying to suck my dick,” Jihoon replied without missing a beat, setting the food down on the coffee table and settling on the ground besides Jun and Jeonghan, squeezing between the pair.

“Well that’s why I said hypothetically you sarcastic little shit,” Jeonghan said, knocking their shoulders together. “How was the studio?”

“Good,” Seungcheol said, making himself comfortable besides Joshua, “We rented it out, 5 hours a week for the next month.”

“That’s great you guys!” Jun exclaimed before sheepishly adding, “Did you bring food?”

Seungcheol rolled his eyes and reached behind him for the takeout, “You know you could’ve helped yourselves to anything in my pantry right?”

“We’re not that rude, Cheollie. We have _manners,_ we have _class_.” Jeonghan berated him as he went through the bags of takeout Thai food, passing the food blindly to everyone as he pulled it out.

“He’s lying. Jisoo-hyung and Hannie-hyung raided your pantry and ate all the Swedish Fish.” Minghao ratted them out, opening the pad thai and helping himself.

“Then they said that all the food you have is crap and that you should never be trusted to shop for yourself.” Jun added around a mouthful of curry. “They threw away your grocery list and wrote their own.”

“Fucking snake.” Jeonghan hissed at the pair. He turned to Seungcheol, “They’re lying Cheol, it was all Joshuji, I had nothing to do with it.”

Joshua snorted, “Like he would ever believe that.”

“It’s true! Seungcheol, you believe me right?” Jeonghan turned to Seungcheol with wide, innocent eyes.

“I bet you were the one who wrote the new grocery list.” Seungcheol replied.

“Jesus, even my best friend, my one and only, the _love of my fucking life_ has no faith in me!” Jeonghan lamented, falling sideways into Joshua’s lap, “Shua hold me, tend to me, my heart has been broken.”

“Tend to your own heart,” Joshua said, shoving lightly at Jeonghan’s body to get him out of his lap but failing. “You just tried to blame _your_ idea on me.”

Jeonghan waved him off and sat up, “You’re so literal. It was a collaborative idea, for the betterment of society.”

“Oh yeah? The betterment of society? Then why did you write three bottles of tequila?” Joshua asked.

“I’m sorry what?” Seungcheol asked, nearly choking on his food.

“ _For the betterment of society_. Duh.” Jeonghan replied.

“How do three bottles of tequila help society.”

“They help me deal with society and the shit show it is.”

Jihoon threw a piece of cabbage at the pair, who laughed as they dodged it. “Sometimes I hate being alive at the same place and time as you two.”

“Feelings mutual, Hoonie.” Jeonghan said while blowing a sarcastic kiss at the younger.

Seungcheol was glad to see Jeonghan so lively and playful. He hadn’t been so laid back for awhile now as they anxiously awaited college acceptance letters. Still, Seugncheol felt queasy as he watched Jeonghan interacting with everyone. Some of the bantering seemed natural, but some laughs and smiles were forced.

From the looks that Joshua was throwing Jeonghan, Joshua had seen it too.

Seungcheol tried to push away his uneasiness and focus on the others.

  
  
  
  
  


The next day at school the younger kids were desperate to know about the weekend and what they missed out on. Seungcheol tried to field their questions as best he could so that neither Jun nor Jeonghan had to answer, but appeasing the kids proved to be harder than expected.

“Hyung you weren’t _there_. We want to know about the party!” Seungkwan complained at lunch, where they were crowding everyone to fit at one table. “Your lame ass only ever goes to high school parties.”

“Hey!” Seungcheol said, feeling mildly offended even though he didn’t care too much, “I am _not_ lame and I told you all about the party. Stop being so nosy.”

Mingyu snickered, “Seungkwan’s shining personality trait is being nosy. It’s the most notable thing about him.”

“Shut up.” Seungkwan hissed, “I won’t take disrespect from someone who didn’t know which pedal was gas and which was brake.”

“I told you that in confidence!” Mingyu whined.

“Then learn your place.” Seungkwan bit back.

“Jesus, Kwan, you okay?” Joshua asked. He and Jeonghan were sitting smushed together at the end of the table, sharing a bag of chips as they watched something on Jeonghan’s phone, only half listening to the conversation at the table. Seeing them so close made something familiar pang in Seunngcheol’s chest. Seungcheol used to think it was jealousy, but he knew better now.

“He got a bad grade on a quiz in bio today,” Hansol answered, “He’s been snappy ever since.”

“I’m not snappy,” Seungkwan argued, “And if I _was_ I would have every right to be. I’m telling you Mrs. Choi has it out for me, I never do good on her assignments.”

“He gets Cs even when he cheats off me.” Hansol said and Seungkwan squeaked at the admission.

“You can’t tell them that, _god_.”

“Earlier I asked Kwannie if I could borrow his notes from when I was absent last week and he said ‘the day I give my lecture notes to your greasy fingers is the day I finally get the respect I deserve from the upperclassmen’.” Seokmin said as he absently pushed around the noodles he had brought for lunch, “Then I said I would tell the upperclassmen to respect him he said ‘and what are you gonna do about your greasy ass fingers and the food stains you leave on my papers.’ I gave up talking to him after that.”

The table erupted into laughter at the story as Seungkwan hurried to defend himself. Seungcheol laughed along with the others and willed himself to relax. The good thing about twelve friends was that they got distracted easily.

“Wait so hyungs, how _was_ the party? You never answered.” Chan asked.

Seungcheol sighed. The bad thing about having twelve friends was that _someone_ was bound to remember the original topic.

“Fine. Honestly nothing exceptional, just your regular party.” Jun spoke up with a smile. “Seriously, you guys didn’t miss anything.”

“Man, I wanna go with you guys one of these times. Those parties seem so fun.” Soonyoung said, sulking as Wonwoo snatched back the cookie that he had tried to sneak from the younger’s pack.

“No way,” Jeonghan said. He had a small, teasing grin on his face that didn’t quite reach his eyes. Seungcheol could only hope none of the others noticed. “Sorry, _kiddos_ , but those parties are only for people who are refined and mature.”

“Then you and Jun-hyung should be the last people allowed to go.” Minghao said.

Jeonghan threw a potato chip at him with a huff.

“But seriously, you guys aren’t going to any of those as long as I can help it.” Jun said, “They’re not safe, okay?”

“But you guys are always fine.” Soonyoung pointed out, “Plus more people means more trustworthy people around.”

“And more potential for disaster.” Jeonghan reasoned, his voice bordering on strained. Joshua’s eyes widened and he pulled Jeonghan closer as Jeonghan said, “I’m serious about this. You guys stay away from those parties, just relax and have fun at the high school ones.”

The younger kids all grumbled but agreed. Only Jihoon and Soonyoung seemed to pick up on the sudden shift in mood of the four eldest and the pair shared a nervous glance.

Seungcheol tried to meet Jeonghan’s eyes, but the elder had ducked his head down, supposedly watching whatever was on his phone again. He was leaning into Joshua’s side, who was running a comforting hand along the younger’s side. Across the table from Seungcheol, Jun had Minghao tucked into his side. Minghao was telling Jun some story about a presentation that had gone wrong in his chemistry class and the elder was nodding along, humming to show he was listening.

  
  
  
  
  


The kids didn’t bring up the party again the rest of the week, and as the weekend rolled around, they seemed to have forgotten the event at all. All except for Soonyoung and Jihoon.

Soonyoung, for his boisterous and excitable personality when he was with his friends, was actually pretty quiet at times. He was observant, to the point that it sometimes scared Seungcheol how well the younger was able to pick up on the slightest shifts in his friends. Soonyoung always said it was his instinct as a choreographer to pick up on such things, but Seungcheol and Joshua had agreed that it more likely came from the expectations put on him by his parents. Soonyoung noticed and reacted to the smallest shift in tone, the slightest change in facial expressions, because he had grown up trying to gauge his parent’s reactions to his accomplishments and failures.

As for Jihoon, the boy was naturally detail oriented. It was a trait that came in handy when it came to music, or even looking after the younger friends, but was troublesome when Seungcheol was trying to hide something from him.

Soonyoung and Jihoon bickered a lot. Soonyoung was affectionate but Jihoon shied away from intimacy. When they had first met, Soonyoung had pushed Jihoon’s buttons more often than they got along, but the annoyance slowly turned into affection and now, though Jihoon vehemently denied it, he obviously valued Soonyoung as a best friend.

So Seungcheol was alarmed that it was those two who had caught onto their lie.

Both Jeonghan and Jun had been wary the entire week, though they both claimed to be fine whenever Joshua and Seungcheol asked. Jun was constantly at Jeonghan’s side and if he couldn’t be attached to Jeonghan’s side, he was within eyesight of the other. He had even taken to driving home with Jeonghan. 

Jeonghan was similar. He wore Jun’s clothes to school almost the entire week, most often with something of Seungcheol or Joshua’s sprinkled in. He constantly had Seungcheol, Joshua, or Jun within a couple of feet of him. One time Seungcheol had left their table at the library to find a book from a nearby classroom but he had barely made it a couple feet before Jeonghan was sliding next to him and taking his hand in his own.

The final bell sounded on Friday, when they had a half day of school, and Seungcheol packed his things and moved to the door, waiting in the hall for Joshua and Jeonghan who had English together. The three had plans for coffee before Seungcheol had his first studio session with Jihoon.

“Seungcheol! Tell Han that he’s wrong!” Joshua shouted down the hallway, getting several stares from the students as they passed. “He said that the Adriatic Sea is better than the Baltic Sea!”

“Wow. The nerve.” Seungcheol replied, raising an eyebrow at the pair.

“I always knew Hannie didn’t have taste but I didn’t know how _bad_ it was.” Joshua lamented as he tugged Jeonghan by the wrist until they were standing beside Seungcheol. “Honestly I’m ashamed to be seen with him right now. He said it in front of the entire English class.”

“Said…”

“That the fucking Adriatic Sea is better than the Baltic see. _Everyone_ heard him.”

“The audacity.”

“I _know_.”

Jeonghan was giggling openly, eyes closed in happiness at the bantering and Seungcheol felt something warm swell inside him. Josh was also staring openly at Jeonghan with adoring eyes, before turning those same eyes towards Seungcheol with a wide smile. The pure, unfiltered fondness startled Seungcheol. But it was a problem for another time.

“Ready for coffee?” Seungcheol asked, hiking his backpack up. “I want to know why exactly you guys were talking about seas in your English class. And why you both have a preference on seas in the first place.”

They started towards the front gates of the school, dodging the students who were milling around waiting for rides and making their way towards the street.

Jeonghan gasped, “Are you implying that you are so uncultured that you don’t even have a favorite sea?” When Seungcheol nodded affirmative, Jeonghan scowled and looked at Joshua, “At least I have a favorite, Cheollie is much trashier than I am, he doesn’t even have a preference.”

“No preference is better than having the wrong preference.” Joshua replied breezily.

Jeonghan reached around Seungcheol to try and smack the younger but Seungcheol grabbed his wrist before he could. 

“Bite me Shua.” Jeonghan snapped with no actual malice.

“Ooh when and where little Hannie.” Joshua said with a teasing lilt.

“Nowhere and never.” Seungcheol butt in, “At least not if I’m not there.”

“Oh so now we need your permission, Coupsie?” Jeonghan asked with a smirk.

Seungcheol went along with their little act, “You _always_ need my permission, angel.”

“Jesus, Cheol, that’s the most top energy I’ve ever seen you have.” Joshua said, voice slightly breathless.

Seungcheol glanced over at the other two to gauge their reactions, only to find both with wide eyes and bright cheeks, looking entirely too happy with themselves.

He felt himself flush and he shoved them both away, “Shut up, both of you. We’re here anyways.”

The trio had made an unofficial tradition of getting coffee together on Fridays at least twice a month. It had started freshman year as a study group, but they quickly realized it was less of a study group and more of a ‘tease Seungcheol until he cracks’ group. The tradition had let up a little when Jeonghan had been in a relationship and almost faded away entirely when they had been struggling with college applications. But now that all of that was behind them, they had started up the get togethers with a renewed vigor, scared of the little time they had left together.

Seungcheol held the door open for them and the two entered the small cafe with murmured thanks. By some unspoken agreement, Seungcheol and Jeonghan went to get a good table while Joshua went to place their order: One cappuccino, one double latte with mocha sweetener, and one hot chocolate with extra whipped cream. For Joshua, Jeonghan, and Seungcheol respectively.

They found a table in the sunny alcove towards the front of the shop. The small alcove was used for open mic nights on Saturdays and poetry nights on Tuesdays, which the three had gone to a few times.

“When are you going to the studio?” Jeonghan asked, playing with one of the sugar packets.

“We’re meeting at three, so I have a little time to chill.” Seungcheol replied, lifting his fingers up to make a goal for Jeonghan to try and flick the packet through.

Jeonghan snorted, “Chill” He mocked. “Who says chill anymore.”

“Chill is a commonly used word, back off.” Seungcheol grumbled.

Jeonghan flicked the packet and missed, veering off to the side. Seungcheol stooped to pick it up.

“Are we still gonna wait to open up the UC admissions?” Jeonghan asked again, mirroring Seungcheol’s finger goal so Seungcheol could try.

Seungcheol hummed, “I think so. It comes out today at five right?”

Jeonghan nodded without saying anything. Seungcheol flicked the packet and scored. Jeonghan scowled and picked it up from where it had fallen to his lap.

“We can meet at Shua’s at five thirty?” Seungcheol offered, holding up his fingers again. “Have some drinks and open them together. So if it’s good news we can celebrate together and if it’s bad news we can grieve together.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

Jeonghan flicked and scored.

“Nice Hannie.” Joshua commented.

“Thanks, Seungcheol hasn’t scored yet.”

Seungcheol threw the packet at Jeonghan who ducked with a bright laugh.

“Fuck off I made the first goal!”

“Oh really? Where’s your witness?”

Seungcheol pointed at him accusingly, “You absolute devil.”

“You call me that so often it’s starting to seem like a compliment.”

Joshua sat down and set their drinks down. “Ah,” He said with a knowing smile, “Our Hannie is in one of those moods.”

“You mean his perpetual mood of being a little bitch?” Seungcheol said. He pulled the hot chocolate over to himself and cradled the warm mug between his hands.

“Yah!”

“You guys still coming over later?” Joshua asked, cutting off the impending argument easily.

Jeonghan took his own drink and sipped from it before answering, “Yeah, does five thirty work for you? We were thinking about drinks and despair.”

“I get the despair but why the drinks?”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes, “You can’t have despair without some good drinks to lube yourself up.”

“I agree with Han but I _hate_ how he said it.” Seungcheol begrudgingly said.

Josh nodded his understanding, grin widening at his friend’s antics. “Understood, I’ll get some soju and wine on my way home, any other requests?”

Seungcheol and Jeonghan exchanged a glance before shaking their heads. 

They continued to chat idly for the next hour, sipping on their drinks until nothing was left. The afternoon sun lit up the cafe and cast a glow on Jeonghan and Joshua and Seungcheol had to resist the urge to take a picture of the pair. Joshua’s eyes were alight with joy as he recounted a story of him and Seokmin’s picnic hike that they had gone on a couple weeks ago. Jeonghan’s smile pushed his cheeks up and crinkled his eyes, showing his genuine happiness to be there and with them.

Seungcheol knew he was hopeless. He had been waxing poetics about the pair since junior year when he had realized his feelings extended past just Jeonghan. His lyrics turned from teenage struggle into teenage love and his melodies turned sweeter. Jihoon had noticed and gave him the barest amount of shit for it, but the other dongsaengs had a field day with it constantly.

Josh was the first to leave, saying he had to clean his apartment before they came over. He gave both of them a quick hug before waving goodbye and leaving. Jeonghan and Seungcheol both watched him go until he was around the street corner before settling back into their seats.

“Cheol…” Jeonghan’s voice was hesitant and wary, not at all like the bright laughs he had just moments ago.

Seungcheol reached out and took Jeonghan’s hand across the table, “What’s wrong, Han?”

Jeonghan glanced up at him. Jeonghan’s eyes gave him away, they always had. If you knew the boy well enough, you could tell everything about him with one look into his eyes. That’s why Seungcheol could see the raging emotions in them; fear, nervousness, doubt.

Seungcheol never wanted Jeonghan to feel like this again.

“I just,” Jeonghan let out a breath, “I’m just scared about the admissions.” He admitted.

But Seungcheol knew. He knew that it was a lie. Or at least a white lie, Jeonghan had perfected those. It was true, true enough that Jeonghan wouldn’t feel bad about lying so blatantly to his best friend, but enough of a lie for Jeonghan to have to avert his eyes.

Seungcheol knew. And, Seungcheol knew not to push.

“Oh Hannie,” Seungcheol squeezed his hand comfortingly, “It’s alright to be scared, we all put a lot into the admissions, the UCs especially. But just, keep in mind that they aren’t everything. College isn’t the end all be all that parents want us to believe it is, okay? You’ve already gotten into some great schools, the UCs would be lucky to have you.”

Some of the tension left the younger’s shoulders at the words and he nodded gratefully, giving Seungcheol’s hand a small squeeze back.

“Thanks Seungcheol. I needed to hear that.” Jeonghan smiled at him, “I needed to hear it from you.”

  
  
  
  
  


The first session went well. Initially it was chaos. They had to figure out how to plug their laptops into the main equipment area, only to realize that Jihoon’s was way too outdated to match any of the plugs. Then they had to figure out the different buttons and pieces of equipment which, in itself, took about half of their time there. When they went to try and record a verse, Jihoon sang the whole thing, only to come out and realize that the button they thought meant to record actually just turned on the mic, so they had to do it all again.

By the end of the session, however, things were running more smoothly. They managed to record almost a full demo for one of Jihoon’s songs and had gotten started on editing the sound of Seungcheol’s when their time had finished. The manager had stopped in a couple times to offer help, but left quickly when he saw how engrossed the pair were.

They left the studio together in high spirits and Seungcheol was already itching to get back in on Sunday.

Jihoon accompanied him on the bus to Joshua’s. Josh lived fairly close to Wonwoo, who was having the other juniors over that night to study for some big math test they all had coming up.

They split off at the bus stop with waves goodbye and Seungcheol waited until Jihoon was out of eyesight before turning and starting towards Josh’s. Now that he didn’t have a distraction, he felt the nerves bubble up inside him. He had put a lot of hope into going to a school in the states, specifically in California. UCLA had a music program that Seungcheol had wanted to go to for years, though no one really knew that about him. He had told the others that he had applied to their ethnomusicology degree, but had actually submitted a full portfolio to their music school.

Joshua’s apartment was above an old laundromat and convenience store. To get to the stairs up to the apartment building, you had to go through the rundown store and unlock the backdoor. He lived on the third floor of the building in a small but comfortable studio apartment. It wasn’t easy to fit all their friends into the space when they had game nights or movie nights together, but they made it work.

The front door was unlocked when Seungcheol got to it so he let himself in, setting his bag besides the door and slipping off his shoes to wander into the main living room/kitchen area. Jeonghan and Joshua were sitting at the table across from each other playing a fast paced card game.

Josh’s apartment was clean and warm. There were scattered boxes pushed against the walls that were filled with his grandma’s old possessions. Josh had also never gotten himself a bookshelf, so piles of books and textbooks were littered about. The apartment was studio style with a small living room and kitchen conjoined downstairs and a loft bed above. One big window in the living room gave a good view of the street below and oftentimes they liked to watch the street life at night from there.

“Cheol! You’re seven minutes late so we started drinking without you.” Joshua informed him without looking up from the game.

“Also, the loser of this game has to take a shot and since you’re here now and late, you’re the automatic loser so drink up.” Jeonghan said, slapping a card down, then another, making Joshua groan.

“Fucking hell Han, when did you get so good at this game?” He complained.

“When I decided I wanted you to get drunk.” Jeonghan replied. He slapped another card on the table and picked one up from the pile. Joshua looked on incredulously before turning to Seungcheol.

“Is he cheating? I can’t tell.”

Seungcheol smirked and made his way to the table. He didn’t really know the rules to the game, but he was pretty sure Jeonghan wasn’t cheating by the way he was smiling triumphantly.

“Mm I don’t think so? Also I'm pretty sure you’re about to lose.”

“Loser!” Jeonghan cried happily, putting his last two cards on the pile and letting out a small, happy whoop, “Drink up you two. Losers.”

Joshua rolled his eyes but poured two shallow glasses of soju and handed one to Seungcheol with a wry smile.

“If Hannie says drink up, I suppose we drink up.”

Seungcheol snorted but raised his drink before downing it. He screwed his face at the taste and grabbed Jeonghan’s glass of apple juice to wash it away.

“Oh god, was that not flavored?” He asked, wiping at his mouth.

Both Jeonghan and Joshua were laughing at him, hanging off each other.

“It was vodka, dumbass. Josh stores his vodka in Soju bottles in case the landlord comes by.” Jeonghan said, still giggling.

“Oh so we’re getting _drunk_ drunk tonight.” Seungcheol said, taking a seat besides Josh at the table.

“No no, none of that,” Josh waved him off, “Light drinking tonight. We did that partying last week, no need to repeat that.”

Jeonghan poured them each a glass of wine and distributed them, keeping the smallest one to himself. He was notoriously a bit of a lightweight.

“But we are going to a party tomorrow night with some of the others.” Jeonghan said.

Seungcheol frowned at the information, it was the first he had heard of. “Who’s going? Where is it? Are you sure you wanna go out?”

“Us, the juniors, Seokmin, and Minghao so far, Mingyu is still trying to figure out if he can go, it’s at Doyoung’s, and _yes_ I’m sure I wanna go, why wouldn’t I?” Jeonghan replied. His voice turned somewhat accusatory at the end and Seungcheol figured he must have said something wrong, looking to Josh for some sort of explanation.

Josh was already looking at Jeonghan with worry, “Han he didn’t mean it like that it’s just… I mean it’s fine if you don’t wanna go. You don’t need to like, force yourself back out.”

“Guys, nothing _happened_ , okay? I’m fine, Jun’s fine, there’s no reason for me to not be fine. So can we just leave it?” Jeonghan said.

Oh god, this was not where Seungcheol wanted this conversation to go. Tonight was supposed to be lowkey, celebrating college admissions or mourning college rejections.

“We get that Jeonghan, we’re just trying to tell you that if you feel like you need to go out to, I don’t know, _prove_ somehow that you’re fine, you really don’t need to.” Seungcheol tried to remedy the situation. 

Jeonghan bristled, “Obviously I _do_ have to prove that I’m fine because you guys are being weird about me wanting to go to a high school party, something I do all the time.”

“Han-”

“No Josh.” Jeonghan snapped, “You guys need to believe me, okay? If I say I’m fine, trust me. I don’t need you guys second guessing all my decisions.”

“We’re not second guessing you, we're trying to help.” Josh tried but he only got a scoff from Jeonghan.

“I don’t need help.”

“Fine, you don’t need help,” Seungcheol said, “But can you blame us for being worried? You never admit when you need help and you end up in pain.”

“Whatever. I’m fine. Nothing happened, can’t we just leave it at that?” Jeonghan’s entire demeanour changed. His defensive stance slipped as he looked between the two with pleading eyes.

Seungcheol slumped down and he nodded once, “We’ll leave it at that.”

“For now, punk.” Josh said with a stern look.

“Did you just call me a punk?” Jeonghan asked, affronted.

“Just drink up.” Josh said, lifting Jeonghan’s glass to his lips and tipping it back, pouring a sip of wine down the other’s throat.

After a few more sips and a somewhat stifling conversation, their argument seemed to fade to the back of all their minds and soon enough, they were getting a notification that the admissions had come out. All three of them scrambled from their chairs to grab their laptops and pull open the notification.

“Okay, does everyone have their application pulled up?” Joshua asked, his voice lilting as his American accent crept in. It tended to happen when he got nervous. Seungcheol and Jeonghan nodded in affirmative and Josh let out a small breath before saying, “On three, one two three.”

It was quiet as all three of them processed what they were reading, before the apartment erupted into noise.

“Holy shit holy shit holy shit!”

“No way I got in, that’s not possible. Oh my god I can’t-”

“ _Jesus_ what?”

Seungcheol read and reread the admissions decisions. Admitted. He had been admitted to UCLA’s school of music.

“Did we all get in?” Jeonghan asked, still staring at his own screen with shining eyes before looking up and glancing at the other two.

“We all got into UCLA!” Seungcheol cried happily. He launched himself from his seat and wrapped Jeonghan in a big hug, laughing loudly as he felt Jeonghan pull him closer.

Josh was staring at them, his smile dimming, “Wait UCLA?” He asked.

Seungcheol’s heart dropped, “Yeah, wait what did you just read?”

Joshua swallowed, “I- I didn’t apply to UCLA. I applied to Berkeley.”

“Oh.” Joenghan breathed, his own smile falling slightly. “Wait so, did you get in?”

Joshua nodded happily, though his smile still seemed strained.

Seungcheol pulled away just enough to look at Jeonghan, who was already looking at him. They shared a smile before launching themselves at Joshua.

“That’s amazing Joshua!”

“God we’re so proud!”

Joshua let out a surprised laugh and caught them, steadying them before they could all go tumbling backwards.

“Oh thank god, I thought you guys would be mad I chose Berkeley.” Joshua said, happiness evident in his voice.

“How could we ever be mad at you?” Seungcheol said between chuckling.

“Of course you got in Shua, seriously that’s amazing!” Jeonghan chimed before stuffing his face into Joshua’s neck with a small, happy laugh, “Good job, Shua.”

“Thanks guys,” Joshua’s voice was laced with gratitude, “Wait hold on.” He shoved them back gently and looked between them, “You two seriously just got into UCLA and you’re trying to focus on me?”

“Oh. Kinda forgot about that.” Seungcheol said sheepishly.

“This calls for some drinks and some very happy phone calls!” Joshua declared, “What department did you guys apply for anyways?”

“Psychology,” Jeonghan answered, “I can figure out why humans are so fucking weird.”

“Hannie oh my god,” Joshua’s laugh was bright and airy, he was taken aback, “Hannie you’re so fucking weird. But I’m the same, so I guess I’m not one to talk.”

“You’re in psychology?” Jeonghan asked gleefully.

“Psychobiology,” Joshua clarified, “Same but different.”

“Oh god,” Seungcheol mourned, “Neither of you guys need to know more psychology. You have already perfected the art of manipulation.”

“Oh young one-”

“I’m older than both of you.” Seungcheol cut in.

“I wouldn’t go around advertising that.” Jeonghan snarked.

“ _Oh young one,_ ” Joshua tried again, “There is always more to learn in the art of manipulation.”

“You have no idea the power we’ll have once we’re smart college students.” Jeonghan added.

“You? Smart?” Seungcheol asked, “Please, Jeonghan, don’t make me laugh.”

Jeonghan quirked an eyebrow, “I don’t see you laughing.”

“That’s because I’m genuinely terrified of you when you’re being smart.”

“Right answer.”

Seungcheol snorted, “Well, be ready to congratulate me because guess who got into UCLA for music composition.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Are you serious?”

Seungcheol grinned and nodded. The other two barrelled into him and effectively knocked them all to the ground in a pile.

“Jesus Cheollie, that’s amazing!”

“Why didn’t you tell us you were applying for music comp?”

Seungcheol wrapped his arms around them and pulled them close, one hand closing around Jeonghan’s waist and the other threading through Joshua’s hair. “I was nervous. If I got rejected I wouldn’t know how to face it, face you guys.”

Jeonghan pushed himself up just enough to stare Seungcheol straight in the eyes, “You, Choi Seungcheol Junior-”

“I’m not junior-”

“-should never-”

“You know my dad’s name!”

“-ever-”

“Why am I junior?”

“Will you shut up, I'm trying to be nice!” Jeonghan slapped a hand across Seungcheol’s mouth, “Choi Seungcheol _junior_ , never, ever have to hide anything from Josh and I. Ever.”

“Emphasis on the never ever part,” Joshua said with a teasing grin, “But seriously, Cheol, no hiding things from us. We’re always here for support.”

Seungcheol stared up at them. They were both looking down at him with adoring smiles and fond eyes and Seungcheol’s heart swelled at the _love_ he felt. He felt so warm, so right, here with them, having them in his arms, having them looking at him like that. Seungcheol never wanted to leave them.

Seungcheol had no doubt that he had a cheesy, way too loving smile on his face as he pulled the pair to his chest again. The two went willingly with small giggles and made themselves comfortable against him.

They stayed there for what was probably an unreasonable amount of time given how uncomfortable it was to lay on the floor, but Seungcheol was happy to just bask in the others’ joy.

Eventually they pulled themselves up and away, agreeing that they had some important calls to make to tell people they had gotten in.

Seungcheol looked to Jeonghan hesitantly, the other had a bitter smile on his face that Seungcheol desperately wanted to wipe away.

“Are you gonna tell your parents?” He asked somewhat hesitantly.

“No, they wouldn’t answer even if I did.” Jeonghan said, “Different time zones and all that shit.”

Josh looked up from where he was dialing his parents, “What about your brothers, I’m sure they’d be happy to know.”

“Maybe,” Jeonghan said with a shrug before saying, “Don’t worry guys, I have someone who will be happy for me, just like your parents.”

Joshua and Seungcheol shared a look but let it go. Jeonghan’s parents were always a touchy subject, and for good reason.

Seungcheol’s parents all but screamed when they told him, congratulating him profusely about his accomplishment. Seungcheol grinned at their show of support, his parents had always been on his side.

“Was it for econ? Or business management? God, Seungcheol, I’m so excited for you to come home and take over the family business.” His dad said, pride clear in his voice.

Seungcheol felt dread overtake him. Of course. He shouldn’t have expected anything else, he had always been expected to go to school, get a useful degree, and take his father’s spot in their small company. 

“Uh about that dad-”

“Cheol, you know the agreement. If you want to study abroad, you have to study what we agreed on. I can’t pay for your school if you won’t get a good degree.” His dad’s voice turned stern and Seungcheol could hear her mother berating him in the background.

“No no that wasn’t what I was about to say!” Seungcheol promised, heart pounding, “I was just gonna tell you that they don’t have a business management undergraduate degree, so I applied to their business economics degree.”

From where he was sitting on the floor, leaning against the couch, Jeonghan looked up at him with concerned eyes.

“That’s perfect Seungcheol!” His dad said, all hostility gone from his voice, “This calls for a celebratory dinner when we get home.”

“Of course, yeah, I love you guys.”

“We love you too. Congratulations Cheol, you worked hard for this.” His mother said.

Seungcheol couldn’t bring himself to reply and stared at the screen of his phone as the call cut out.

“Cheol?” Jeonghan called, “You okay?”

Seungcheol shook his head and slid to the ground besides Jeonghan, “Jesus, Han, they’re not gonna pay for my school if I tell them I’m going for music. They’ll be so disappointed in me.”

“I’m sorry. Parents suck.”

“My parents always seemed to suck a little less. At least compared to yours.”

“Maybe, but that doesn’t mean they should control your life like that.” Jeonghan said with a shrug.

“Yeah,” Seungcheol sighed, “I guess I’ll have to figure this out, I can’t lie to them forever.”

“Shit Cheol. If music is what you wanna do, you have to stick to it. You have so much talent, you’re so good at it, you can’t waste your life getting a degree and running a company that you don’t even care about.” Jeonghan’s words got more heated as he went.

Seungcheol sat up straight, “I can’t pay for music school on my own. Even if I was working, there’s no way I could pay tuition, room and board, textbooks, food, all that crap on my own.”

Jeonghan grasped both of Seungcheol’s shoulders in a tight grip. “Seungcheol listen to me. Music makes you happy, music is what you’re passionate about. I will help you figure out how to get to that music school, just don’t give up on it yet.” Jeonghan paused, then added, “And maybe don’t tell your parents until you have a plan.”

Seungcheol nodded and smiled gratefully at Jeonghan. Maybe there was some complicated, magical, third option that allowed him to pursue music while _not_ letting down his parents. He would hold out hope on that one.

“Who did you call anyways?” Seungcheol asked, “I heard some excited screaming, so I’m guessing not your brothers.”

“Junnie and then Seokminnie,” Jeonghan replied with a smile, “The juniors screamed my ear off, and then Seokmin singlehandedly screamed louder than them.”

Seungcheol had noticed early on in their friendship how Jeonghan seemed to savor every second with them. For Jeonghan, who had grown up in a distant family, their friends were his family. They were his everything, and oftentimes when Jeonghan talked about them, you could hear the pure love he held for every member of their friend group. 

Joshua came back in with a wide smile, “They’re really excited to have me back in the states, they want to Facetime tomorrow when we can talk more.”

“That’s great Shua,” Seungcheol said, “Now who’s ready for some drinks, I think we all need a little lubing up.”

Jeonghan mockingly gasped, “Seungcheol! How dirty of you.”

“Shut up and drink.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


They never drank enough to get drunk, but more pleasantly tipsy. They sat in a circle on the floor of Joshua’s kitchen talking for nearly three hours. They talked about high school and the time that Seungcheol almost blew up the school microwave because he forgot to take the tinfoil off of his lunch. They talked about the time Jeonghan got locked in the library after school and found the librarian’s secret stash of mini oreos and instant coffee. And when Joshua had first come to the school, Jeonghan convinced him that the pens he had could double as chopsticks if he clicked the top enough times.

They ordered food for takeout from a restaurant down the street and ate on the floor in the same circle before moving to the big window to watch the night life below. They liked to make stories about the people’s lives that they saw. Jeonghan always made them sultry and erotic, Seungcheol realistic and logical, and Joshua soft and magical.

They sat pressed together, watching the pedestrians enter and leave the restaurants and bars below.

“Oh oh look they’re gonna break up,” Jeonghan said, pointing excitedly to two people arguing on the sidewalk.

“How do you know they’re even dating?” Josh asked doubtfully as he peered down.

“I don’t,” Jeonghan answered with a shrug, “But wouldn’t it be more fun. Long time couple get into fight, break up, than have passionate makeup sex and runaway together.”

Seungcheol chuckled, “You should write books Hannie, you’ve got the imagination for it.”

“But not the patience.” Joshua said.

Jeonghan smacked his back but didn’t protest.

“Do you,” Jeonghan paused to clear his throat, “Do you think I - well - never mind.”

“Wait Hannie,” Joshua placed a soft hand on the other’s shoulders, “Han you can talk to us about anything.”

“I know that it’s just… I don’t know, I feel stupid even talking about this.” Jeonghan wasn’t looking at them, eyes resolute on the night sky in front of them.

Seungcheol leaned forward to peer around Joshua at Jeonghan, “Look Han, you can definitely say some stupid things sometimes, but if it’s serious, you know we won’t judge you.”

Jeonghan didn’t say anything, continuing to stare out the window with furrowed eyebrows. Seungcheol and Joshua shared a look. Jeonghan didn’t like opening up, he was hard to get to talk about his feelings. But, if Jeonghan felt as though he wasn’t the only one being vulnerable, it became easier for him to speak openly.

“You know, I got into KAIST last week.” Joshua started off hesitantly. “Psychobiology, same as Berkeley, and just as good of a school. Only difference would be I get to stay here, in Korea, work on getting my full citizenship, and look after the kids.”

“Holy shit Shua,” Seungcheol let out. KAIST was an insanely good school and would be perfect for Joshua, if he wanted to stay in Korea.

“Yeah I know,” Joshua chuckled humorlessly, “Haven’t told my parents yet. They really want me back in the states and I feel like I’ll break their hearts if I choose Korea over America. I don’t know what to do.”

“Jisoo,” Jeonghan leaned his head against Joshua’s shoulder and nuzzled into the other’s neck slightly, “Joshuji, don’t let your parents sway your decision. It’s your life, you need to follow what is going to make you most happy.”

Joshua nodded, “I know, I’m still trying to figure out what will make me happiest. You guys make me happy. The kids make me happy. _Korea_ makes me happy.” He paused before adding, “I miss my parents, a lot. I get lonely here sometimes. It’s why I like having you over as often as I can, even when it's selfish of me to want you to be on bad terms with your parents.”

Jeonghan snorted at that, “I don’t blame you Shua. I’m happier when I’m over here with you than I could ever be in that damned house.”

“It’s not selfish to want company, Soo,” Seungcheol said, “It’s in no way selfish to want to have another person with you, especially someone like our Hannie.”

“Did you just compliment me?”

“I always compliment you.”

“ _No,_ ” Jeonghan drawled, “No you always backhand compliment me while also insulting me. I just always choose to focus on the complimenting part.”

“You know,” Seungcheol chose not to indulge Jeonghan in the petty argument he was looking to start, “I know I should pursue because it’s my passion and what will make me feel happiest, but I’m really scared of disappointing my parents.”

“It’s pretty normal to be scared of disappointing your parents, Cheol, especially when they’re as great as your parents.” Joshua said.

Seungcheol leaned down to rest his head on Joshua’s other shoulder with a small sigh, “Not like this, Shua. It’s like this crippling fear of not giving back to them what they’ve given me my entire life. I don’t want to waste everything they’ve done for me. Does that make sense?”

“Not to me.” Jeonghan said bitterly. “Everything I do ends up disappointing my parents anyways.”

“Cheol, you’re not in debt to your parents for _raising_ you. You know that right? You have nothing to pay them back for, you’re their child not some investment that they made.” Joshua pressed a quick kiss to Seungcheol’s temple, “And Han, if everything you do disappoints them, focus on the people who relish in your every accomplishment. Your parents are shitheads for not realizing how hardworking and accomplished you are, but our friends all see how amazing you really are and we’re all here to support you and show you all the love you deserve.” Joshua leaned over to place a matching kiss to Jeonghan’s temple.

Seungcheol’s shoulders relaxed at Joshua’s words. He seemed to always know how to calm them down, reassure them with even the hardest of problems.

“I’m really conflicted,” Jeonghan’s soft, high voice cut through their lapse in silence. “My head has been such a mess this entire week, I don’t know how I feel, I don’t know how I should feel.”

Joshua shifted to lean back on his hands, Seungcheol and Jeonghan’s heads leaning back with him. “About what Han?”

“Last weekend. Getting roofied. It’s just, so complicated in my mind.”

“Do you want to talk about it? Explain it to us?” Seungcheol offered. His heart was pounding, he wanted to help Jeonghan, he wanted to comfort the younger. He was terrified he wouldn’t be able to help at all.

“Not really,” Jeonghan confessed, “But I think I should. I think it could help.”

“How about you just try,” Joshua said, “And if it’s too much for you, we can let it drop, no questions asked.”

“No questions?” Jeonghan asked, hopefulness ill concealed.

“No questions. Scout’s honor.” Joshua swore.

Jeonghan gasped, “I always knew you were a boy scout. Oh my god I need to get the pictures of you in the uniform from your mom.”

Joshua reached up and tugged on Jeonghan’s hair in retaliation, “Don’t you fucking dare.”

Jeonghan’s giggling died and he remained quiet for long enough that Seungcheol was sure he was going to let the topic drop.

“It’s just, nothing happened, you know? I wasn’t actually assaulted or anything, the asshole tried but didn’t succeed. Junnie made sure of that.” Jeonghan said in a quiet voice.

Seungcheol wanted to protest, but knew better than to interrupt now that the boy was actually speaking up.

“And also I - I _know_ that guys can be assaulted, I know that it’s completely true and that it’s something that, unfortunately, happens often.” Jeonghan stopped to take a shuddering breath, “But it was never supposed to happen to me. It _can’t_ happen to me. It happens, just not to me.”

Joshua’s hand reached to rub soothing circles on Jeonghan’s back and Seungcheol moved his own hand to intertwine with the younger’s.

“And then my mind spirals from there because _jesus_ it could have been Jun, not me. And what would I do then? How can I protect all those kids from not going through the same thing, or going through worse? And what if it happens again, but I don’t have Jun with me? I mean, I trusted that guy, we were friends when I was still dating my ex in 10th grade, what if someone else I know and trust tries the same thing? I think about all this and then I get stuck in my head and… and… yeah.”

“God angel,” Seungcheol said, “God, Han, I can’t imagine. I literally can’t even imagine what that feels like. How any of this feels.”

“Hannie I’m sorry you were holding that in all week.” Joshua said, his hand moving from Jeonghan’s back to his hair. “Do you want comfort, advice, or to rant some more.”

Jeonghan let out a watery laugh at the offer, but he obviously appreciated the gesture, “Comfort, please, I just need someone with me right now. I need to feel safe.”

Joshua nudged Seungcheol’s thigh indiscreetly and the older took the hint, standing and moving to Jeonghan’s other side to wrap his arms around him.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t keep you safe, Han, and I’m sorry we can’t give you the answers you want. But we’re both here for you, for whatever you need and however long you want us. We will always be by your side. Our angel” Seungcheol murmured, hoping he was saying the right things.

“We don’t have the answers Hannie, but we will try our damn hardest to never let this happen again, to you or the other kids. No one else will get hurt.” Joshua reassured him.

Jeonghan seemed to relax between them, burrowing further into Joshua’s side and taking Seungcheol with him. “Thank you. It’s not gonna be easy, any of this, and I’m sorry for dragging you into this mess.”

“You’re not dragging us into anything. We’re your friends and we’re always going to be right here. Just for you.” Seungcheol said. “So don’t even try to apologize again, we won’t accept it, because you, Yoon Jeonghan, have absolutely nothing to apologize for.”

Jeonghan let out a real, choked sob at that. Seungcheol and Joshua bothe tightened their holds on him, shushing him quietly.

Outside the window, the city lights twinkled in a strange reassurance that nothing ever stayed the same. Seungcheol didn’t like the idea, the pattern-lessness of night lights. Jeonghan had always found comfort in their unpredictability. Joshua always laughed at the other two and reminded them to just enjoy their beauty.

And so they sat in a tight group, finding comfort in each other instead of the lights in front of them.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more to come my lovely Carats, hope you all enjoyed the chapter and the comeback! comments and kudos always appreciated


	3. Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no seeee!  
> Hi lovely carats, hope everyone is staying happy and healthy!  
> Enjoy :D

The next morning they all woke with uncomfortable cramps and dead phones. At some point, Joshua had laid a big comforter over all three of them, but sleeping on the cold floor would take its toll on anyone.

Joshua got up to make them coffee and plug their phones into chargers. Jeonghan whined at the loss of warmth, turning over so he was half on top of Seungcheol and nuzzled his face into the crook between Seungcehol’s neck and shoulder.

Seungcheol giggled as his soft breathing tickled the side of his neck, which made Jeonghan whine again.

“Be considerate here, I’m trying to sleep,” He groaned with a huff, which made Seungcheol giggle all over again. Jeonghan peered up at him with mischievous eyes. “Your laugh is so fucking cute oh my god.”

Seungcheol’s eyes widened and he felt himself flush, “You can’t just  _ say _ that!”

“I can’t compliment you? What if you deserve to be complicated because of how wonderful you are,” Jeonghan replied, obviously enjoying it as Seungcheol got redder and tried to hide his face in his hands. Jeonghan scrambled to pull the hands away from Seungcheol’s face with a bright laugh. “No don’t! I love it when I get you to blush.”

Joshua came back and crouched besides them with a fond smile, “Teasing Cheol again?”

“He’s just so cute Shua!”

“Shut up Jeonghan!”

Joshua chuckled and reached out, ruffling Jeonghan and then Seungcheol’s hair, “He is, isn’t he? So are you though, don’t forget.”

Seungcheol scoffed, “As if he could ever.” He teased.

Jeonghan ignored him in favor of reaching out and taking Joshua’s hand in his own, “You’re also cute Joshuji!”

“Thank you Hannie. You two ready for breakfast? I could make something or we could meet some of the others down at the diner on 4th street.” Joshua said. His voice was deeper than usual and his movements were sluggish, the telltale signs he was still sleepy.

“Let’s meet the others!” Jeonghan said, “Is it stupid that I already miss them? Cause I already miss those idiots.”

“Not stupid, I miss them too,” Seungcheol admitted, “Though I will never willingly tell them that.”

“Don’t you think it’s weird that you two don’t want our friends to know how much you love and care about them?” Joshua asked, helping Jeonghan to his feet before reaching out a hand and helping Seungcheol up as well.

“If they knew they could use it against me.” Jeonghan said as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Joshua shook his head in exasperation, “They already use it against you, you blind idiot.”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“You’re the idiot!”

“This is a stupid argument.”

“You started it!” Jeonghan huffed and crossed his arms.

“ _ You _ started it!” Joshua was laughing, pushing at Jeonghan to go to the kitchen where the coffee pot was ready. “Coups who started it?”

“Does it matter?” Seungcheol absolutely did not want to be pulled into the middle of one of their stupid arguments.

Jeonghan and Joshua shared a look before rounding fully on Seungcheol.

“Are you saying our words don’t matter?”

“It’s like you don’t even pay attention to us anymore.”

Seungcheol buried his head in his hands with a pitiful groan, “Lord spare me.”

They all waited for their phones to charge a little while sipping languidly on the coffee. They were up earlier than normal due to the natural light coming in through the window they had fallen asleep in front of, but the peaceful morning made up for the early hours. Seungcheol was never the biggest fan of coffee, he usually defaulted to hot chocolate even though his friends gave him shit for it, but Joshua’s coffee was always sweeter and milkier, appealing to Seungcheol’s sweet tooth.

Joshua’s phone was the first to chime with a text from Jihoon about breakfast. The juniors had all spent the night at Wonwoo’s and were all trying to rally the rest of their friends for a breakfast date. Joshua confirmed that they would be there and relayed the information to Seungcheol and Jeonghan, who high fived at the news.

Seungcheol sometimes got concerned that they were too codependent, it wouldn’t fare well for any of them next year with the seniors graduated and off to college.

Then Seungcheol remembered how they were all Jeonghan had. How Joshua had no one else to rely on here. How Soonyoung’s parents were never appeased with their son’s accomplishments, how Jun wasn’t even on speaking terms with his birth parents. Wonwoo worked since he was 13 to support himself and his mom, Jihoon hid his music from his parents. Mingyu’s parents unintentionally favored his little sister, Minghao lived with his cousin to avoid his turbulent home, Seokmin’s parents loved him but lived vicariously through his life, and Seungkwan’s pressured him away from art. Hansol was the middle man to his parent’s fights and Chan had to lie about dancing to meet his parent’s expectations.

So what if they were codependent. It was better than being left on their own.

Joshua let them borrow some clean clothes which ended up being a tad too big on Jeonghan and a tad too small on Seungcheol, despite them all being relatively the same height. Jeonghan was blessed with a simple button up and cardigan combo while Seungcheol was left with one of Joshua’s hoodies that pulled a bit tight over his arms. Joshua had laughed behind his hand when he had seen his friends in his clothes, but complimented them nonetheless.

They slowly got more texts from their friends confirming that they would also be there. Seokmin, Mingyu, and Minghao were already together for a photography assignment that they were doing together and they were excited at the prospect of being able to put off their work a little longer. The freshmen were also all excited to just be able to get away from their homes and have an excuse to ignore their homework for a few hours.

At a quarter to nine, the three set off from Joshua’s. It was a brisk but sunny day and already the streets of the city were bustling with activity.

The diner wasn’t one that they necessarily frequented together, not like the coffee shop near school or the chinese place down the road from Wonwoo’s house, but they went there often enough to know everyone’s order and the staff knew them as “the rowdy but polite boys”. It was a quaint, tucked away spot that had been in the neighborhood for years. Down a back side street off the main road, it served breakfast all day and had a loyal group of regulars.

The bells above the door jingled as Joshua pushed it open, stepping inside and holding the door for Jeonghan and Seungcheol to follow. Seungkwan, Chan, Seokmin, Mingyu, and Minghao were already seated at their usual table by the side window, talking rather loudly for how quiet the rest of the restaurant was.

“Shua’s here! Let’s just ask him,” Seungkwan said, “Google translate is a little bitch anyways.”

Joshua glanced at Seungcheol and Jeonghan with a raised eyebrow but led the way to the others anyways, “Ask me what?”

“How to pronounce squirrel in english,” Chan said, “Mingyu-hyung claims he’s getting it right but it sounds different from how google translate is doing it.”

“Why are you guys talking about this anyways?” Jeonghan asked as he took the unclaimed seat besides Seokmin.

“Well Minghao was talking about how they saw a squirrel on the way over that was apparently really cute and reminded him of Seungkwan, which made Seungkwan mad because he doesn’t like squirrels after that one attacked him at the park-” Seokmin stopped to take a gasping breath of air before continuing, “- so then Minghao said it was supposed to be a compliment and they got in an argument and Mingyu was quiet for like, the longest time, before asking us how to say squirrel in english because he wanted to know how to piss Seungkwan off in multiple languages.”

Minghao made a grand gesture towards the table, “Thus began the stupidest argument I’ve ever been involved in.”

Seungcheol laughed at his dongsaengs antics and took a seat beside Seungkwan, across from Jeonghan. Joshua slid into the seat next to him a moment later and gave his shoulder a playful bump in greeting.

“Hey congrats hyungs!” Seokmin suddenly said with a wide grin, “We heard about the college admissions.”

“I called you, you dork.” Jeonghan said.

Seokmin shushed him urgently, “Let me look like a good dongsaeng for knowing something the rest don’t.”

“Sorry to tell you Seok, but we all knew. Soonyoung-hyung texted us.” Mingyu teased.

Seokmin gasped dramatically, “Who betrayed me in such a way. Who? Who dared take away my moment.”

“Shouldn’t it be our moment,” Seungcheol asked, “You know, since we were the ones who actually got into international colleges and everything.”

“I just wanted to show how good of a dongsaeng I was,” Seokmin pouted and Jeonghan placed a placating hand on the younger’s shoulder.

“The best dongsaeng, Seokminnie, don’t let meanie Cheol tell you differently.”

“Yah!” Minghao cried.

“What about us?” Chan asked, gesturing to the rest of the table.   
Jeonghan waved them off, “Acquaintances, that’s all you guys are.”

“How did Soonyoung-hyung know anyways?” Seungkwan asked. “Oh, they’re here!”

The juniors were making their way to the table with tired smiles. Their clothes were all rumpled and they had dark circles beneath puffy eyes and instantly Seungcheol’s protective instinct kicked in.

“Did you stay up working on your project again?” Joshua asked, arm reaching out to pull Jihoon into his side. Jihoon, uncharacteristically, went willingly and slumped tiredly against the elder, “Jesus, I can feel the exhaustion coming off of you in waves.”

“We were up all night working on that dumb project,” Soonyoung complained as he slumped into the empty seat besides Chan.

“I’ve never hated school as much as I do right now,” Jun chimed in, sliding into the seat at the head of the table, “Seriously this project is going to be the death of me.”

Wonwoo had already claimed the seat besides Mingyu and was tucked into the younger’s side, “We’ve all been working on this for like a week already and we’re not even through the research. It’s impossible.” Wonwoo whined, another uncharacteristic thing. “I think I could fall asleep right here.”

“Is it the science project where you have to teach a class on your own?” Jeonghan asked. He had had the same class last year and knew of the torture of the project.

“Yes!” Soonyoung said, “We have to teach the class about sustainability by making a model of a house that is entirely sustainable.”

“We have to make a presentation about household sustainability, have a worksheet or other ‘engaging project’ for the class, prepare a home video to demonstrate it, and have a full model of the house we design  _ and _ a final research paper.” Jihoon listed off.

“And it all has to fit in one class period.” Wonwoo added, “You can’t just teach sustainability in one class period. There’s a lot to it!”

Mingyu was frowning and looking down at the boy in his arms. Wonwoo’s glasses were slightly askew and his hair was sticking at odd angles. The other juniors were in a similar boat and Jun in particular looked ready to keel over and sleep for a week straight.

Seungcheol frowned as he looked at his tired dongsaengs, “When was the last time you guys got a good, full night’s rest.”

Jihoon scoffed at the idea and Soonyoung chuckled humorlessly, “Unless you call last Saturday at your house a ‘full night’s rest’ then I don’t think we’ve been sleeping properly since winter break.”

“Probably summer break if we’re being honest. God I hate junior year,” Wonwoo confessed. Mingyu’s hold on the older tightened and he shot Seungcheol a wide eyed look.

Jeonghan’s eyebrows were pulled together, “I know the feeling, but you guys should take a day off and rest, catch up on sleep, relax, take care of yourselves.”

“We did that last weekend,” Jun reminded him, “Our teachers are really dead set on torturing us with an unreasonable amount of work right now for some reason.”

“How about after breakfast you all go collect your school work and come over to my house. I can help you with your assignments and hopefully give you the afternoon off to just rest for a little.” Seungcheol offered, though he knew his tone was more demanding than questioning. He had noticed the juniors seeming more and more tired and worn down, but his own assignments and college issues were keeping him preoccupied. Now, it was a bit too much to ignore.

“I can come and help too!” Jeonghan offered, “I took most of your classes anyways, so I know what the teachers are looking for on the projects.”

“I’ll come too,” Joshua said, “I can’t help with the electives that you guys are taking because I had to take Korean, but the core classes were the same and I did fairly good in those.”

The juniors looked between each other and the seniors before Jun hesitantly agreed for all of them.

“Hello!” Hansol greeted them suddenly, “Sorry I’m so late. Parents were being stupid again.”

He plopped down in the final seat besides Jeonghan and looked between everyone with a gentle smile, “What’d I miss.”

  
  
  
  
  


Their breakfast flowed smoothly after the juniors had gotten some caffeine in them and looked more alive than dead. Seungcheol tried to talk to all the dongsaengs, but Seungkwan and Chan basically demanded his attention the entire time.

They ordered a lot of food and ended up just passing the dishes around for everyone to try. At one point, Soonyoung tried to hide the blueberry waffles for himself and ended up getting a piece of toast in his face from Minghao.

The freshmen decided to join the upperclassmen in their impromptu study date to get extra tutoring and the sophomores agreed to come over once they had finished taking pictures so they could edit the pictures at Seungcheol’s.

Which, of course, left Seungcheol scrambling to coordinate snacks and rides for everyone and trying to get a rough plan of how the whole day would go.

His fellow seniors swore to help him with everything, but Jeonghan dipped once he heard that Seungcheol needed to clean and Joshua excused himself when he realized he had to help with rides.

“Sorry, Cheol, I really would, but last time I drove our maknaes they played Doja Cat the entire time and spilled a giant pixie stick all over the back of my car.”

Seungcheol had rolled his eyes at the pair but let them go their own ways to collect their school supplies and get washed up and ready for the day. He did, somehow, manage to coerce Jeonghan into buying snacks and drinks from the market though, which was more than he expected of the other.

Seungcheol made his way home on the bus and was greeted by an empty house, once again. Besides his parents’ jobs requiring them to go away once a month, he also had a cousin who had just given birth three hours away. Seungcheol’s parents had been going to help the family take care of the newborn for the past few weeks, resulting in them being gone on odd weekends at a time. Not that Seungcheol really minded, he loved his parents and considered him one of the luckier kids of their friend group when it came to family relations, but his parents had gotten more overbearing about college and he needed the breather from them every now and again.

There wasn’t much work to be done and Seungcheol was quick in getting everything cleaned up. He shuffled the playlist that Hansol had made him and let himself get distracted in preparing everything.

It was just past 11 when Jeonghan and Seungkwan barged in together, each carrying two bags of groceries. Seungcheol startled so hard he dropped the towel he had been using to clean the windows and it covered his head.

“Yah, you klutz,” Jeonghan said around his laughter as he pulled the towel off of Seungcheol’s head.

“Hyung I knew you were easily startled but that-”

Seungcheol cut Seungkwan off, “Finish that sentence and see how you end up.”

Seungkwan mimed zipping his lips shut and throwing the key with such force he nearly toppled over himself.

“We brought chips, candy, juice boxes, some weird European snacks that are shaped like hippos that Seungkwan nearly cried when he saw, and cheese and crackers,” Jeonghan listed off, making his way to the kitchen with the other two trailing behind, “We tried to get something for everyone, but honestly I can’t keep up with Chan’s taste buds half the time and we decided it would be fun if we got some things that we don’t usually get. Y’know, to liven things up a little.”

“Whenever you say you want to liven things up, something bad happens,” Seungcheol said, starting to go through the bags with a bit of hesitancy. He should’ve known that Jeonghan would want to pull something like this. For all the maturity the boy held, he still couldn’t help but be playful when the chance arose.

“I tried to stop him, hyung, I swear.” Seungkwan said as Seungcheol pulled out anchovy chips with a frown. “Well I tried to stop him but really who am I to say no to my amazing hyung, so from the goodness of my heart I decided to help a poor soul in need.”

“I offered him coffee and he was all mine.” Jeonghan corrected. “Easiest dongsaeng to manipulate.”

“I’m right here.”

“I know. That’s how easy you are.”

Seungkwan pulled his hand back as if he were going to hit Jeonghan but stopped himself, probably knowing the repercussions would be much worse.

Seungcheol continued rifling through the first bag, which was full of mostly reasonable things besides the anchovy chips. There was a bottle of cranberry juice in there that none of the friends would like, but Seungcheol’s parents loved that crap so he assumed it was for them.

The second bag, however, was home to freeze dried sardines, wasabi covered banana chips, and some strange orange jelly candies that Seungcheol refused to even touch.

“Why must you find torture to be so fun?” Seungcheol asked Jeonghan with a shake of his head as he pulled the items from the bag.

“It’s not  _ torture _ it’s just fun!” Jeonghan replied all too happily.

Seungkwan raised his hand, “As someone who has been both on the planning side and on the receiving side, I can confirm it is both fun and torture.”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes at that but didn’t protest. Jeonghan adored Seungkwan, anyone could see how much he coddled the kid, but Seungkwan was also one of Jeonghan’s most common targets for these ridiculous pranks.

“It’ll be fun and funny and it will lighten the mood. I can say for certain that it will give Jun and Soonyoung a good laugh,” Jeonghan explained himself in a slightly lower tone to Seungcheol.

As much as Seungcheol complained about Jeonghan’s pranking and jokes, the other boy did always know how to make the others laugh. The juniors could all use some light hearted teasing right now, and who better than their own Yoon Jeonghan to do it.

Seungcheol reached out and brushed at Jeonghan’s hair gently, “I know, it’s a good idea. And hey, at least now I know about it and can’t be a victim of whatever you’re plotting.”

Jeonghan smirked and Seungcheol felt his heart drop. That was never a good thing. 

“Well actually, my lovely Cheollie, we need you to taste test everything.” Jeonghan said, already dragging Seungcheol to sit at the counter. He gestured vaguely to Seungkwan, who seemed to take the hint and began opening up all the horrible snacks. “You see, I have such a poor, weak stomach that I can’t handle foods like these. And our little Kwannie has a vocal competition coming up, so we can’t risk anything by giving him questionable foods. Which of course, leaves only you to try these and tell us if they work.”

“No way. I can tell you now that they work! Please don’t make me.” Seungcheol pleaded, though it didn’t sound very sincere because of his laughing. “No no no-”

“Say ah-” Jeonghan said, bringing one of the anchovy chips up to Seungcheol’s mouth. Seungcheol tried in vain to turn his head away, but he was laughing too much to close his mouth and the overly salty chip found its way in.

Seungcheol sputtered around it but Jeonghan kept a hand firmly over his mouth, urging him to chew. Seungcheol tried to send either of his friends pleading eyes, he had heard he was pretty good at them, but their laughter overruled any type of sympathy they might have had.

“It’s honestly not so bad,” Seungcheol confessed once Jeonghan had removed his hand, “Like I wouldn't go out and buy these on my own, but I would snack on them if someone offered them to me.”

Jeonghan’s face lit up and he looked to Seungkwan with a triumphant smile. “I told you, you owe me.”

“Goddamnit hyung, you couldn’t get annoyed with Jeonghan just this once?” Seungkwan whined, already reaching into his pocket to pull out the petty cash they had bet on.

“I always get annoyed… What’s going on?” Seungcheol asked.

Jeonghan snatched the bill from Seungkwan’s hand with a happy huff and flounced away into the living room, grabbing a juice box as he went.

Seungkwan rolled his eyes at his hyung’s behavior, “I bet that Jeonghannie-hyung couldn’t make you eat one of those and not get annoyed. He knew you wouldn’t get annoyed.”

“Sorry Cheol,” Jeonghan called, “There’s no way you would actually like anchovy chips, the sight of them makes you gag. And I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist me.”

“Jesus Han,” Seungcheol sighed but couldn’t help the small giggle that escaped him. Of course Jeonghan knew of his particular distaste in anchovies. And of course he used it in one of his ridiculous pranks, though with no ill intent meant. “At least I got you some money right.”

Jeonghan ruffled around in the living room for a second before appearing in the kitchen, laughing giddily as he made his way to Seungcheol. Once he was right in front of the older, he put his hands on either of Seungcheol’s cheeks and squished them together gently.

“You, Choi Seungcheol Junior-”

“- I hate that you continue to use that nickname-”

“- Just won me five hundred won from our dearest Boo, so thank you, you brilliant being.” 

And then he was gone again, Seungkwan trailing behind him and shouting an annoyed, “You two are so  _ weird _ together.”

  
  
  
  
  


The rest of the group did not arrive with nearly as much gusto as Seungkwan and Jeonghan. Joshua dragged Hansol and Chan in who were complaining about not being able to stop for burgers on their way over. They shut up when Jeonghan procured sour cream and onion Pringles for Hansol and pizza Goldfish for Chan, their favorite snacks. Wonwoo, Jun, and Soonyoung all came in a sleepy, dazed heap, the morning coffee that they had had was already worn off. Wonwoo nearly fell asleep against Seungcheol’s side once he sat down, but Seungcheol roused the boy with some mini Oreos and a coffee drink. Jihoon arrived only minutes later, toting the model part of their project and calling frantically for help when the wind nearly blew it away.

Joshua herded the freshmen to the dining room table, still within eyeshot of the living room. He set them each up with whatever their most pressing assignment was and flitted between them, helping when he was needed. Hansol with his Korean literature, Chan with his  _ English _ literature, and Seungkwan with his maths, predictably.

Seungcheol and Jeonghan took charge of the juniors. The pair got the weary foursome comfortable on pillows on the living room ground in a lopsided circle. First, they walked through the project guidelines with the group, Jeonghan clarifying vague directions and highlighting what the teacher focused on most. Jeonghan then took charge of going over what they had done for the project so far, fact checking research with them and offering suggestions for the powerpoint presentation. In the meantime, Seungcheol corrected their maths worksheets, making notes of what their most common mistakes were.

Study groups like this weren’t uncommon, perse, but they weren’t as common as any of them really liked. The seniors, who had been through these courses before, were happy to help. Joshua had once remarked that he hadn’t had such thorough guidance when he was struggling through his Korean courses, and was happy to offer what he could to Hansol. Jeonghan and Seungcheol had shared a knowing look. High school hadn’t been easy on either of them, socially or academically, and so they too, were happy to help their younger friends through the stressful ordeal.

Once Jeonghan felt as though they understood the directions and were on a good pace, he sent them off with different tasks, something that the overworked group hadn’t thought to do. Wonwoo and Jihoon, eternally good with words and language, began crafting the outline for their research essay that Jeonghan would edit in three days, the tentative due date that the senior had set up for them. Junhui and Soonyoung, ever the creative minds, began brainstorming ideas for the class worksheet that Jeonghan would go over in a few hours.

With the tasks set, Jeonghan settled besides Seungcheol, placing a bag of Sour Patch Kids at their feet and balancing his laptop on his knees. Seungcheol continued with the math worksheets, overwhelmed by how much the teacher had assigned, while Jeonghan began editing their Korean literature essays.

Time passed rather quickly after that. Joshua would come and check on them periodically, occasionally asking Seungcheol questions about Seungkwan’s math homework. He would bring them water and ruffle their hair affectionately before returning to the freshmen. Soon, the sun was dipping through the windows at a low angle as evening approached.

The sophomores arrived shortly after 4 that afternoon in a bustling group. Their arrival allowed for a short but welcome distraction from the work as they talked about their day photographing the city. Seungcheol managed to - miraculously - calm the three down and moved them to the living room couch where they began to download and edit their pictures.

For a moment, Seungcheol watched his friends move comfortably around his house, around each other. He felt warmth blossom as he surveyed everyone helping each other or welcoming the guidance. Even Chan, their coveted and protected youngest, was explaining the analysis of a passage to Hansol, doing his part to help.

Without meaning to, Seungcheol sighed happily, a soft smile gracing his lips. Through the kitchen doorway, Joshua met his eyes with a questioning gaze of his own. But Seungcheol couldn’t explain what he was feeling, and didn’t quite want to, so he just shook his head.

“I think we’re good for the day.” Jeonghan’s soft voice from besides him startled him from his reverie. “The juniors all got caught up in their classes and the freshmen have all their assignments done and ready to be turned in. We did good.”

Seungcheol turned to the other and smiled gratefully, “We did good.” He echoed, “Did your snacks work out okay?”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes just as Joshua came to sling an arm around his shoulders, “I managed to get Soonyoung, Junhui, Channie, and surprisingly Wonwoo. Jihoon knew right away, Mingyu took one look at it and threw it in my face, I didn’t try Seokminnie or Haohao cause I felt too bad, and Hansollie only took it because he felt bad for me. He said he didn’t want to hurt my feelings.”

Joshua laughed, a single, bright sound, “Sounds like our Sollie.”

“Can’t believe you got Wonwoo. Careful, you might invoke his and Mingyu’s wrath.” Seungcheol warned teasingly.

“I’d like to see them try.”

“No one’s invincible, Hannie, I thought you figured that out the last time you messed with Mingyu.” Joshua quipped.

Jeonghan huffed in mock irritation, “He’s a big baby, I didn’t even really do anything bad. He didn’t have to retaliate like that.”

“You convinced him he had written an essay for the wrong book. He deleted his entire essay and stayed up all night trying to write a new one for a book he never even read.” Seungcheol pointed out. It  _ had _ been funny seeing Mingyu’s panicked texts in their groupchat as he tried to get someone to explain the plot of the book.

“ _ But _ ,” Jeonghan nudged at both of them, “but I saved his essay beforehand and I was the one who stayed with him while he ‘wrote’. The boy was talking too much to really be considered writing.”

“Han-” Joshua tried. Joshua had been the unfortunate receiver of a handful of calls that night from Mingyu freaking out and Jeonghan laughing his ass off.

“And I treated him to dinner the next night. I called it even.”

Seungcheol scoffed. As if that could make things even. “Sure it did. I still say he was justified in his revenge.”

“That’s because you’re a dumbass who hates me.” Jeonghan leaned closer into Joshua’s side with a pitiful whimper, “Joshuji hold me, Cheollie is attacking me again. He’s so cruel .”

Joshua gasped and pulled Jeonghan close before sticking his tongue out at Seungcheol, “You dare hurt my Hannie. Evil bastard.”

“Yeah! Evil bastard.” Jeonghan echoed, looking much too happy about this.

“How is it that I’m the oldest and yet the one who’s most picked on. Explain that to me.” Seungcheol complained.

“Bottom of the food chain,” Jeonghan singsonged.

“Age has nothing to do with teasing, young Cheol, you’re just too much fun to mess with.” Joshua explained in a placating tone, as if explaining something to a distressed child.

Seungcheol had the urge to hit them both. “You two need a different past time.”

Jeonghan laughed, “You flatter yourself Seungcheol, you’re not time consuming enough to be our past time.”

“I hate you both.”

Wonwoo scoffed as he moved around them into the kitchen, “That’s the biggest lie I’ve ever heard.”

“Shut up Woo. Go back to Mingyu.”

Wonwoo made a face but didn’t object. At this point, he knew better than to even try.

With Wonwoo gone, Seungcheol looked to the other two, still cuddled close, and asked, “Dinner?”

“Yes please.”

Seungcheol rolled his eyes. Jeonghan really knew how to avoid work. “I meant what should we make for dinner. Or should we order in?”

Seungcheol had to pick and choose his ‘battles’ with Jeonghan, especially if Joshua was by his side.

“Cooking might be fun.” Jeonghan easily let up on the teasing.

Joshua’s eyes widened, “ Not if you’re in the kitchen, it’s not.”

“Han can keep the, uh, less talented chefs away from the kitchen while the rest of us make something. How does that sound?” Seungcheol offered them. Instantly, Jeonghan frowned.

“What do you mean, less talented chefs? Are you implying that I can’t cook up a storm if I wanted to?” Jeonghan asked, sounding mildly offended, though Seugncheol was sure it was just for show.

“An inedible storm, sure.” Joshua replied drily, ducking just in time to dodge the fist that came at him.

“No one’s implying you’re a bad chef Jeonghan,” Seungcheol tried to appease, “We’re telling you outright that anything you make would give us all food poisoning.”

“Yah!”

“ _ But _ now you get out of extra work so why are you complaining?” Seungcheol pointed out. Years of dealing with Jeonghan’s dramatics had fine tuned him in how to go about convincing the boy. The only problem was, with someone like Jeonghan, he only got convinced if  _ he  _ wanted to. The boy could be incredibly stubborn if he wished to put the effort in.

“Oh,” Jeonghan stopped short of hitting Seungcheol’s shoulder and pulled back, snorting, “Idiots, now you have to do all the cooking and I can have my pick of which dongsaengs to hang out with.”

“No way, you’ll just take Seokmin and Junnie and leave us with Wonwoo and Soonyoung.” Joshua argued, “And there’s no way I’m dealing with those two in the kitchen.”

“And Chan.”

“What?”

“I want Junnie, Seokminnie, and Channie.” Jeonghan clarified with a coy shrug.

Joshua threw his hands up as Seungcheol buried his face in his hands, “Oh my god, you’re impossible!”

Jeonghan giggled, “I’m kidding I’m kidding, I’ll take whoever you deem unfit for cooking and show them a good time.”

Seungcheol sighed, “Don’t… don’t say it like that,  _ god _ Han.”

Jeonghan cackled, head thrown back and nose scrunched up, drawing the attention of the rest of the group. Seungcheol saw Jun beaming at his hyung, Mingyu sending him a confused but happy glance, Seokmin chuckling slightly. 

Joshua nudged Jeonghan, “You’re drawing attention to us you dork.”

“Your attention should always be on me.” Jeonghan pointed out, breathless from laughing.

“It’s hard for it not to be,” Seungcheol muttered, feeling himself flush right after once he realized what he had said.

Joshua scoffed at that and knocked his shoulder against Seungcheol. Jeonghan grinned at them. Seungcheol was struck, yet again, with just how fond he was of the pair. But, like the coward he was, curses, he gently pushed the two away.

“Off with you, we have work to do. Joshua, start getting the ingredients out, Hansol and Seungkwan can help with the chopping. Jeonghan, go get Soonyoung, Wonwoo, and Channie and keep them out of the kitchen. I do  _ not _ want a repeat of the ramen incident.” Seungcheol commanded.

Jeonghan and Joshua let out matching whines, at being told what to do or being separated, Seungcheol wasn’t sure.

“But that night was so  _ fun _ ,” Jeonghan whined in his high pitched, slightly raspy voice. “Maybe it wasn’t good but it made memories!”

“It was the hardest I’ve seen you laugh in a long time, Cheol.” Joshua was pouting , but the corners of his lips were twitching upwards in ill concealed amusement.

“I got assaulted by ramen noodles!”

“You lost the bet!”

“Because you two cheated and went behind my back!” Seungcheol argued. Jeonghan and Joshua were doubled over in laughter, likely remembering the incident with much more fondness than Seungcheol ever could. “You guys just wanted me to have the punishment.”

Joshua gasped, affronted, “You dare accuse us of  _ fraud _ ?” He gestured between him and Jeonghan, his voice getting progressively higher, “ _ Us? Really?” _

Jeonghan shook his head sadly, “It’s like you don’t even know us. We would never.”

“Oh my god, I can’t deal with this.” Seungcheol pushed them again, this time shoving Joshua into the kitchen and Jeonghan further into the living room. “Go, now, before I switch your jobs and force Jeonghan to work and Jisoo to eat his horrible food.”

“Damn I love it when you manhandle us,” Joshua said with a coy wink.

“Jesus Cheol, you can’t use that tone and push us around only to leave us high and dry,” Jeonghan teased, though his cheeks were turning a bright pink.

“Oh? You guys like when I tell you what to do?” Seungcheol replied in a low tone.

Joshua’s eyes widened, “Love it.”

“Well then get your asses going. Dinner’s not gonna cook itself.” Seungcheol said, before adding a rough, “ _ Now _ .”

“Good lord,” Joshua said, swallowing.

Jeonghan was smirking, cheeks flushed, “Damn Cheollie, if you’re gonna talk to us like that, you better be prepared to deal with the mess you make.”

Seungcheol cocked an eyebrow. Flirting like this was the only time he ever even remotely had an upper hand on the other two. “Oh trust me, angel, I know just how to make you a mess.”

Jeonghan squeaked, “Dear god, Cheol, when did you learn to talk like that.”

“Years of dealing with your bratty asses. Dinner. Go.”

“Yes sir.” Jeonghan replied, looking all too happy with himself as he meandered into the living room.

Joshua sent him a fake salute before turning to go to the kitchen, rallying the kids to help with dinner.

Seungcheol took a second to calm his , admittedly, wildly beating heart. Sure it was easy to act all unbothered and teasing, but it took as much of a toll on Seungcheol as - he guessed - it took on the other two.

Seungcheol’s mind began to whirl as he thought over their conversation, all the implications, the flirting, the obvious attraction. But was it so obvious? Jeonghan was open and flirty with most friends, only overly so with Joshua and Seungcheol, so Seungcheol was never sure if he was ministerpreting something with him. And Joshua was a whole other case. Though Joshua was never truly flirty with others, he still fed off of Jeonghan’s ministrations, so Seungcheol supposed that the flirting could be another level to their strange relationship.

There were times Seungcheol was near certain they were on the same page, that all his pining and adoration went both ways. But Seungcheol was a chronic overthinker and sometimes, like now, standing amidst his closest friends who were all in good spirits, he began to spiral and twist their interactions.

Seungcheol physically shook his head and plastered a smile on his face. These were thoughts for later, but for now, he had twelve hungry and tired boys to look after.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Unsurprisingly, several messes were made in the process of making dinner. For one, Seungkwan poured entirely too much salt at one point and they had to throw the entire mix out. Hansol and Seokmin managed to clog the garbage disposal, then proceeded to film it as chunks of vegetables and meat came flying out and landed on an unattractive glob on Jihoon. They were quickly banned from the kitchen afterwards and joined the group in the living room who were playing a lively round of Just Dance. 

And, of course, no one seemed to pay attention long enough to keep track of how long things had been in the oven or on the stove, resulting in over cooked rice and under cooked vegetables.

But, by the time everyone was dishing themselves dinner, everything seemed to have turned out fine.

Seungcheol subtly high fived Joshua when the others weren’t looking.

Dinner was always an eventful ordeal when all 13 of them were gathered, and this time was no different.

“I felt screwed in the pooch!” Chan finished his story with wide, earnest eyes.

Minghao snorted into his drink, choking slightly, “I’m sorry you felt  _ what _ ?”

“Like I was screwed in the pooch.” Chan repeated, looking at his hyungs with furrowed brows, “It’s when-”

“Chan it’s not ‘screwed in the pooch’, it’s ‘screwed the pooch’.” Minghao clarified, laughing, “You thought the saying was screwed in the pooch?”

“That’s what…” Chan trailed off and his gaze whipped around to Seungkwan, who was close to tears as he held his laughter in, clutching at his stomach, “You little  _ shit _ !”

Chan lunged towards Seungkwan, who scrambled from his seat and ran along the back of the couch, causing Wonwoo, Jihoon, Jun, and Seokmin to have to dive forwards to avoid being trampled on. Chan followed behind him, chasing him through the living room and into the kitchen, their shrieks echoing around the house.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry!” Seungkwan cried as he ducked underneath Chan’s outstretched arms and scurried back into the living room, all but throwing himself at Seungcheol in an attempt for safety, “I didn’t think you would ever really use the saying! I thought it would be funny.”

Seungcheol had just enough intuition to lift his drink up as Seungkwan barreled into his chest and knocked him backwards, his drink miraculously only spilling slightly.

“Hyung can’t save you now!” Chan declared.

“No no no Chan!” Seungcheol called uselessly as the youngest threw himself at the pair on the ground, landing with a loud  _ oof _ . “Someone  _ help _ .”

Very helpfully, Jeonghan took Seungcheol’s drink from his hand and took a sip, before returning it to Seungcheol’s grip.

There was a beat of silence before, “ _ Die you utter plebeian!” _ Chan shouted.

Seungkwan convulsed as Chan’s fingers dug into his sides and he writhed around, laughing.

“Chan I’m sorry,” He cried out uselessly, attempting, and completely failing, to get out from beneath the younger, “Please, please, I’m sorry, so so sorry, please oh god.”

“Take it! Take your punishment, you  _ disgrace _ .”

Seungcheol let his head fall back on the ground and let the freshmen do as they pleased. He wouldn’t be getting anywhere anytime soon.

Once Chan was satisfied with his punishment and Seungkwan could barely breathe because of how hard he was laughing, Chan removed himself with a self appraising, “Good job.”

Joshua had to help Seungkwan up, who all but slumped into the elder’s arms as he wiped the tears from his eyes, still chuckling.

“Was it worth it?” Joshua asked.

Seungkwan’s eyes, despite the torture, were still alight with mirth, “So so worth it.”

Around them, the laughter subsided as everyone continued to eat. Jun took the lapse in conversation to start his own story

“So there I was, 11th grade washup-”

Their stories continued much like that. Mingyu and Minghao talked about the psychic they had visited earlier in the day who predicted they would have a baby within the year, only to hastily take it back when she learned they were still in high school.

Jihoon tried to top it by talking about the time someone misdialed him from the holding cell at the police station. The guy, distraught because he had used his one phone call on a complete stranger, tried to get Jihoon to bail him out in exchange for half a year’s supply of weed.

Which, of course, led to Jeonghan telling about the time that the police had shut down a party he had gone to in 11th grade. In his hurry to get away, him and a Japanese student named Yuta had climbed a tree, only to realize they were too drunk to work their way back down. By the morning, after having slept in a tree for 2 hours and exchanging their deepest, darkest secrets, they figured out they were only around 6 feet off the ground and there was a ladder leaning on the other side.

“An unbreakable bond was made that night.” Jeonghan lamented with a raise of his glass as their friends doubled over with laughter around them. “Though I admit, that wasn’t the worst ‘escaping the cops’ story I have.”

Instantly the younger kids, who hadn’t heard most of Jeonghan’s stories, perked up and leaned forward, eagerness painted across their faces.

“What is it! Tell us.”

Jeonghan merely winked eliciting groans from them.

“You keep too many stories to yourself,” Seungkwan griped, slumping backwards to lean against the couch.

“Hey! I gotta keep up my elusive, mysterious image,” Jeonghan defended himself, making several of them snort and Joshua outright laugh.

Joshua reached behind Seungcheol to pat Jeonghan’s upper arm, “Sorry, Yoon, but you’ve never had anything but a bothersome image.”

“Fuck you, toe sucker,” Jeonghan bit back, also reaching around Seungcheol to smack at Joshua. Joshua batted the hands away from him with a laugh and they began poking at each other, their arms continually hitting Seungcheol’s back and knocking him forward.

Seungcheol knew for a fact that the pair knew what they were doing and were just trying to annoy him. From the looks on his dongsaengs faces, they also knew and were trying in vain to keep from laughing

Seungcheol bit his lip and closed his eyes, willing away the annoyance and letting the two do as they pleased. But that only urged them on further, looking for any reaction from the eldest. Seungcheol tilted his head up and took a deep breath. Joshua elbowed him so hard between his shoulders blades he went tumbling forward.

“Asses!” Seungcheol whipped around and growled at them, much to the amusement of everyone else, if their laughter was any indication. Joshua and Jeonghan both threw up their hands in surrender, but their shit-eating grins told Seungcheol neither were actually sorry.

Seungcheol rolled his eyes but left it alone. Instead, he stood and stretched before beginning to collect plates from the table and ground, “Anyone who didn’t help with dinner has to help with the dishes instead.”

Instantly, whines and groans chorused around the room.

Seokmin raised his hand hesitantly, “What if you really  _ wanted _ to help with dinner but got kicked out of the kitchen.”

“Jeonghan?” Seungcheol looked to the other for his decisions.

Jeonghan huffed and stood up, “If I have to do the dishes so do you.”

Seokmin and Hansol began complaining, only shutting up when Jeonghan snapped, “Complain anymore and I’ll tell the others they don’t have to help at all.”

Soonyoung helped Wonwoo up, the pair chuckling and making their way to the kitchen, Chan following behind trying to balance the dishes in his hands while yelling at them to help. Seokmin and Hansol trailed them, promising to get back at Jeonghan for his ‘unjust labor practices’.

Jeonghan grabbed the plates that Seungcheol had in his hands and made after the others before calling over his shoulder, “I’m not responsible for any broken dishes or crying kids that may occur.”

“Jeonghan-” Seungcheol tried to call after him, but the younger was already through the door frame and saying something excitedly about a game to make it go faster. That did not sound promising at all.

Before Seungcheol could follow them and provide some, semi responsible, supervision, Joshua was grabbing onto his ankle with a reassuring smile.

“Sit, Cheol. Jeonghan won’t let anything happen and he’ll make it more enjoyable for them to do the work at least.” He reasoned and Seungcheol nodded once. He lowered himself besides Joshua, who rested a lazy arm around him as he listened to Mingyu’s story about some incident that happened in class that week.

  
  
  
  
  


The group took a suspiciously long time in the kitchen to finish up, but judging from the loud laughter and the lack of shattering noises, Seungcheol didn’t have anything to worry about.

While the rest of them waited for the working group, they talked pleasantly about school and upcoming events they were looking forward to.

Soon, Jeonghan was poking his head around the doorway with a small smile. The others in the room turned to him, conversation dying as they waited to hear what the senior had to say.

“Hey so, all of us in here are pretty happy to just stay here tonight instead of going to that party we were planning on. If you guys still wanna go then obviously, like, go for it, I doubt I could stop you even if I wanted to, but yeah.” Jeonghan shot them a thumbs up before dipping back into the kitchen with a loud, “Mission accomplished!”

The group in the kitchen cheered loudly at the proclamation.

Seungcheol laughed at their antics before turning to the group with a raised eyebrow, “Well? How do you all feel about just staying here the night?”

Seungkwan crossed his arms with a huff, “It’s not like I was invited to that party anyways, so I’m happy.”

Joshua pulled Seungkwan close with a sugary coo, “Aw, is our Kwannie sad he didn’t get invited to the scary upperclassmen party?”

“It wasn’t even upperclassmen though,” Seungkwan argued around his pout, “The sophomores were allowed to go but Jun-hyung refused to let the freshmen along.”

Joshua and Seungcheol both sent Jun surprised looks, who managed to look both sheepish and defensive at the same time.

“You’re too young to be going out with us each weekend, Kwan, I told you that already,” Jun said. 

Which was definitely partly true. But, it also wasn’t characteristic of Jun to be the one to enforce the rule. Last year, when the rule was applied to the then freshmen, Jun tried to sneak them into several parties without Seungcheol knowing. But, Seungcheol could understand the heightened concern and  _ need _ to protect the youngest after the events of last weekend. 

Seungcheol shifted slightly, ready to help Jun, when Minghao beat him to it.

“C’mon Boo, you know how it is, we have these, these  _ rules _ \- if you can call them that - for a reason.” He offered Seungkwan a small but knowing smile, “The freshmen last year were only allowed two parties a semester, they’re being soft with your grade.”

Seungkwan shrugged, not looking convinced but also not looking nearly as bitter as before, “I know I know, I just hate feeling left out. I want memories with the hyungs before they leave for college.”

Seungcheol and Joshua shared a gentle smile at that. Seungcheol scooched forward so he could grasp Seungkwan’s knee, urging the younger to look at him.

“We don’t need parties to make memories, Kwannie, having you all here will surely be just as eventful. Plus, technically once the school year is over you’re not a freshman anymore, so you’ll have more free reign during summer.”

Seungkwan smiled at Seungcheol, his shoulders relaxing, “I know. Sorry for making this a big deal, I just… yeah, I worry sometimes about, well, about you guys leaving next year. It’s stupid.”

Joshua crawled over and grabbed Seungkwan’s hand in his own, “That’s not stupid at all, Seungkwannie. It’s hard to leave friends, hard to see them leave, but we have time until then, and you better bet your ass we’re gonna be coming back to pester you guys constantly.”

“You can’t get rid of us so easily Seungkwan,” Jeonghan chimed in from where he was leaning against the door frame, the rest of the dishwashers watching from over his shoulder. “Plus, I need  _ someone _ to prank Channie when I’m gone, so I’m expecting you to take up the duty.”

“Yah!  _ Hyung _ .” Chan whined, smacking Jeonghan’s shoulder.

The light teasing broke the tension that had built in the room and everyone collectively relaxed.

“Does anyone else have anything they wanna talk about? If not, what’s the plan for the night.” Seungcheol broke the silence, smiling at the group in an attempt to reassure them that everything was okay.

It was quickly decided that tonight was the  _ perfect _ night for board games and ice cream sundaes. They played rock paper scissors to see who would have to go to the store to get the supplies, then pooled cash together for the cost.

The ‘Ice Cream Sun-Baes’, as dubbed by Seokmin, were sent off to the closest convenience store. Mingyu drove, Minghao taking shotgun, with Seokmin and Hansol piled in the back. A small debate erupted whether one of the upperclassmen should go with them, but Minghao had scoffed in their faces and pointed out that  _ yes _ they could handle driving 5 minutes to buy ice cream on their own.

Plus, the hyung that had lost rock paper scissors had been Jeonghan, and no one was itching to see what absurd ice cream flavors he would bring home.

Seungcheol took over coordinating the living room, directing the kids on moving furniture around to make space for them on the ground. Joshua got slips of paper and had everyone write down several games; board, video, or other, on them so they could draw from a hat, to ensure ‘optimal fairness’. Jeonghan set up the TV and speakers, shuffling their collective playlist so no one fought over the aux as well.

“Ever think about how music is just like, wiggly lines?” Jeonghan said. He was sitting with his legs slung over the back of an armchair, head hanging down as he watched Chan and Wonwoo pull out board games from a cabinet while upside down. “Like how fucking weird is that.”

“That’s… That’s not exactly how sound works.” Jihoon said as he walked back into the room, carrying extra blankets and pillows from the hall closet for people to sit on. He dumped them unceremoniously onto the ground. “Hyung didn’t you take physics? Shouldn’t you know this?”

Jeonghan waved him off lazily, “There’s a lot of shit I should know that, sadly, I don’t Hoonie.”

Seungcheol snorted, “If that doesn’t summarize my entire high school career-”

“Oh zip it Cheol, you learned all the capital cities of Europe for fun, you cannot talk about knowing things.” Joshua pointed out. He was sitting, leaning against the chair that Jeonghan was sat on, playing a game on his phone that Jeonghan was periodically reaching out to mess him up on. “Or  _ lack _ of knowing things.”

Jun glanced over at him with furrowed eyes, “You did?  _ Why _ ?”

“He also learned each country's flag and their primary language of use.” Jeonghan added, unhelpfully.

Seungcheol glowered over at the pair. They had a habit of exposing things like this to the others.

“And he learned what the capital names mean.” Joshua said, giggling loudly when Seungcheol threw a pillow at him, which missed and hit Jeonghan square in the face instead.

“That’s a lie.” Seungcheol grumbled. He stood and moved to the fellow seniors, settling down besides them. Jeonghan shoved at the back of his head playfully, no doubt payback for the face full of pillow he had just gotten.

“All of it?” Seungkwan asked. The freshman was reclining across the large sofa, feet propped up on Soonyoung’s thighs as the older absentmindedly drew patterns on his shins.

Seungcheol wished he could say no. Seungcheol wished he could tell his friends that,  _ no _ , he wasn’t so hopeless as to learn all the information on the off chance that he ever got to travel around Europe with his two best friends and show off all his knowledge about the continent. But Seungcheol was a bit of a hopeless romantic and  _ yes _ , he did in fact learn all of it for that very reason.

“What’s the capital of Belarus?” Jihoon asked curiously before Seungcheol could answer.

“Minsk. They speak Belarusian, very close to the Russian language, and their flag is red and green with some pretty red geometrical pattern on the side of it.” Seungcheol replied, resigned to his fate of inevitable teasing. As preemptive vengeance, Seungcheol hit both Jeonghan and Joshua on their closest available body part.  _ Hard _ .

Jun snorted, “Jesus, hyung, why the hell would you bother with that.”

“I thought it would be useful at the time.”

“Awe, Cheollie, it is useful.” Joshua reassured him.

Jeonghan laughed, “Useful for teasing maybe.”

Jeonghan’s phone chimed loudly from the ground besides Seungcheol and he wordlessly handed it over to the other. Jeonghan took it and checked the notification, scrambling to sit properly on the chair and nearly falling head first on the ground in the process. Both Joshua and Seungcheol caught him before he could fall and he corrected himself, all the while still staring at his phone with narrowed eyes.

Seungcheol felt worry well up in him. If the ‘Ice Cream Sun-Baes’ had gotten into any trouble, they would probably mass text all the seniors, not just Jeonghan, but Seungcheol couldn’t help his mind from wandering to all the possible worst case scenarios.

“Minhyuk-hyung wants Jun and me to go to a party with him and Kihyun-hyung.” Jeonghan said, getting the attention of the entire room. Seungcheol and Joshua both sat upright and looked at each other. From the corner of his eyes, Seungcheol saw Jun doing the same.

“Another college one?” Joshua asked, his voice level despite the obvious distress on his face.

Seungcheol gave him a look. They had an audience now, there was no arguing with Jeonghan about this when the kids were around. 

“I’d rather stay here, hyung, if that’s okay with you.” Jun said somewhat pointedly. While the strained tone seemed to fly over Chan, Seungkwan, and Wonwoo’s heads, Jihoon and Soonyoung sat up straighter and exchanged telling looks.

Oh god.

“Yeah yeah, of course, I’d rather stay here too.” Jeonghan replied distractedly as his fingers danced across his phone, no doubt responding to his friend. “Shame though, we haven’t been able to go out with them in a while.”

“I guess but, I mean, they were there last weekend.” Jun replied, not quite snappish, but close to it. Close enough to have Jihoon and Soonyoung looking at him worriedly and Wonwoo glancing over in concern.

“If you don’t remember Junnie, we were a bit preoccupied last weekend,” Jeonghan retorted, irritation tainting his voice just enough for all the juniors to look at him in surprise.

“I know, Jeonghan-hyung,” Jun replied, his considerably softer now, sensing that he had hit a nerve. “We can go out with them another time, okay? They’re always a good group.”

Seungcheol glanced between the pair worriedly, not sure if it was his place to step in and diffuse the tension. Instead of trying to verbally, he nudged Jeonghan’s leg pointedly, urging him to apologize as well.

“Yeah, another time sounds great Junnie. Sorry for, well, y’know.” Jeonghan replied, gentler this time and with a small smile.

Everything was good between them again.

Still, Seungcheol saw the assessing looks that Soonyoung and Jihoon were sending them and couldn’t help the worry that gnawed at him. Jeonghan was adamant about not wanting the younger kids to know, but Seungcheol knew Jeonghan well, and knew that if two of his dongsaengs were to ask him outright, he would feel too guilty to deny them.

Seungcheol glanced at Joshua, who seemed to have caught on as well. He leaned over Seungcheol and whispered in his ear.

“We’ll worry about that when it comes, but for now it’s out of our control.”

Jeonghan pointedly kicked at them.

“What-” Seungkwan started, but Seungcheol quickly interjected.

“Well anyways, how about a Fifa tournament until the, uh, Ice Cream Sun-Baes come home?”

“Oh man, Jun get ready to get your ass beat!” Wonwoo exclaimed, “Revenge for that time you stuck ice down my shirt.”

“Oh my  _ god _ Woo, that was weeks ago, get over it!” Jun scoffed good naturedly, standing to make his way to where Wonwoo was already seated in front of the TV, “You’re just a sore loser.”

“That was four nights ago.” Wonwoo deadpanned. He gave Jun a small shove to his shoulder as the elder lowered himself besides him. Jun shoved him right back, knocking Wonwoo onto his side with a gasp.

“Nothing Jun has done will ever compare to when Minghao was a NPC the entire game and didn’t tell me.” Chan grumbled, settling behind Wonwoo and Jun on a cushion. “I spent the entire game wondering how he was doing so good while barely pressing the buttons.”

“Best part about that was that he did that to Seokmin-hyung and Hansollie too.” Seungkwan added. “They all fell for it even though they could see him programming the characters.”

“He did it so fast!” Chan whined.

“Not the only thing he does fast.” Jun quipped.

“Not needed Jun.” Seungcheol said with a sigh as the rest of the room dissolved into laughter.

Jun threw his hands up in defense, “Hey I just call it as I see it.”

“And you’ve seen…” Jeonghan trailed off with a quirked eyebrow, “Moving a bit fast there Junnie.”

Jun smirked, “Hm, jealous hyungie?”

Jeonghan reeled backwards with a disgusted noise, “ _ God no!” _

Everyone burst into peals of laughter anew.

Jun and Wonwoo finished a game of Fifa and were starting on their second when the group burst through the door so hard it hit the wall with a bang. Mingyu, in his excitement and hurry to get his shoes off, flicked a slipper off and down the hallway. He looked into the living room with guilty eyes.

“Sorry, we listened to Lizzo on the way home and got really hyped.” He exclaimed, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

Seokmin barrelled past him and held up two bags triumphantly, “I bring ice cream!”

Minghao smacked the back of his head, “ _ We  _ bring ice cream.”

“And I bring news that I am  _ never  _ going to the store with the three of them again.” Hansol griped, though the smile on his face contradicted the words.

“Oh?” Jihoon asked with a quirked eyebrow, “And why is that?”

“When we got up to the register, the cashier gave Mingyu a receipt and he  _ fucking signed it _ .”

“I thought it was a check!” Mingyu defended weakly, “I forgot you don’t sign receipts.”

The room erupted into laughter.

  
  
  
  
  


“Are they all asleep?” Joshua asked as Seungcheol entered his room after locking up the house. Joshua was reclining against the headboard, Jeonghan tucked under his arm, already half asleep.

Seungcheol turned off the lights as he replied, “All but the sophomores. They decided to try and squeeze into the guest bedroom together and last I saw they were up giggling away at something on Seokminnie’s phone.”

Seungcheol slid into bed besides Joshua, tucking himself into his friend’s side when Joshua lifted his arm in invitation.

“Mmmm,” Jeonghan hummed, “They’re so cute. I love when they get all comfortable with each other like that.”

“If you think that’s cute you should’ve seen Soonyoung and Wonwoo in the living room.” Seungcheol said with a small sigh. “Barely an inch between them. It’s the closest I think I’ve ever seen them.”

“Those poor kids,” Joshua said, “I can’t imagine how exhausted the juniors must be right now. It sounds like they haven’t had a proper rest in a long time.”

“That’s why I had lights out so early.” Seungcheol admitted.

Jeonghan snorted, “You sound like a dad when you say ‘lights out’”

Seungcheol didn’t bother to refute him, he knew it was true.

But he couldn’t help himself when it came to the kids, he felt the need to look out for them, at least to the best of his ability. The entire night he had watched carefully. Watched the juniors’ sluggish movements as the night wore on and the exhaustion crept in. He saw their eyes grow heavier and heavier, nights upon nights of all nighters or near all nighters finally catching up to them.

He watched the sophomores too as they saw their exhausted hyungs. Seungcheol gave Seokmin reassuring smiles when the younger boy watched Jihoon nod off in the middle of Scattergories. He ruffled Minghao’s hair when he urged Jun to drink more water, concern palpable. He offered Mingyu a hug when he laid a soft blanket over Soonyoung and Wonwoo as the pair fell asleep curled together.

Seungcheol did damage control where he could. It was what he was good at, it was what he knew how to do.

Joshua was able to keep the freshmen mostly clueless to it all. He kept them entertained and laughing, all the while never clueing them in on the weariness of the juniors.

Jeonghan did his part as well. He kept conversation flowing between everyone easily, prodding the kids to speak freely, as well as curse freely, much to Seungcheol’s dismay. When one game got old, he was suggesting another. He got them to play zombie tag, mafia, charades. He animated Soonyoung into playing Just Dance against him again and coerced Jihoon into a, rather competitive, game of Speed.

Together, the seniors made the night memorable for everyone and granted the tired students a reprieve from their hard schedules.

Joshua let his head tilt back to hit the headboard, “I wish we could do more for them.”

Seungcheol paused. Joshua could be talking about the juniors and their burden of school right now. Or, he could be talking about the collective  _ them _ , the group that they had taken into their care because it seemed as though no one else would.

“We do what we can Shua,” Seungcheol replied, though his voice was a whisper, “And we hope it’s enough.”

“What do we do when we can’t be enough for them? When we’re gone and they’re on their own.” Joshua’s voice was lower now too, but it was choked. 

Seungcheol and Jeonghan both looked up to Joshua, who had his eyes firmly on the ceiling. He had always been tender-hearted. Not necessarily quick to tears, but quick to deep emotions. Joshua didn’t detach himself from hard feelings like Jeonghan did, or compartmentalize complicated emotions like Seungcheol did. Instead, he let his emotions wash over him, embraced them in their entirety and allowed himself to feel in ways that Jeonghan and Seungcheol never could.

“They’ll never be on their own Shua,” Jeonghan said, eyes fixed on Joshua, “We’ll always be there for them. And when we can’t give them a physical presence, they can rely on each other instead.”

“Even if we can’t always be here for them, they have each other.” Seungcheol reaffirmed.

Joshua sniffled but nodded, looking down at them with a grateful smile and watery eyes. “Watching them tonight, I just- it’s hard to think about next year.” He admitted, “Hard to think that I can’t be here to help them through issues like this.”

“They learn from us, Jisoo,” Seungcheol said. He flipped over so he was on his stomach, chin propped on Joshua’s ribs. On the other side, Jeonghan mirrored the movement. “They see how we deal with issues and complications and it gives them guidance on how they should go about it. We’re lucky we can offer them that.”

“It’s the best we  _ can  _ offer.” Jeonghan added. His hair was poking up oddly and before Seungcheol could reach over to smooth it out, Joshua was. His hand came up and carded gently through Jeonghan’s hair, a warm smile gracing his face. Seungcheol felt a hand settle on his head and was not at all surprised to feel it start brushing through the strands. Seungcheol leaned into the touch and Joshua turned his smile to Seungcheol instead.

“I wonder about life a lot.” Joshua murmured into the quiet.

The ceiling fan above them clicked with every revolution. Across the hall, giggles were coming from the sophomores.

“What do we work towards if we don’t care about leaving a mark? What do I work towards if I don’t care whether or not I’m remembered?” Joshua continued, “What is there to life except to work and die.”

Seungcheol closed his eyes. Joshua talked like this sometimes when he was overwhelmed. He talked of mortality and purposes, his own morals tinted by the existential outlook that Jeonghan believed. Joshua, in actuality, was more realistic about life, about building happiness for himself and making the people around him happy as well.

But on nights like these, he let the more sobering thoughts enter his mind and bring him down.

“Jisoo there’s so much more than that, you know that. So many adventures left, so many memories to make.” Seunghcheol tried, but Joshua didn’t look convinced. Seungcheol looked to Jeonghan for help, but the other boy was staring up at Joshua pensively. With a sigh, Seungcheol continued, “Maybe there isn’t more to life Shua, but that doesn’t mean we waste the life we have. We use that time, use it to better others, to guide and help, to support. To love.”

“The universe is so large, Joshuji, we aren’t even a speck of dust in the timeline of the universe. So what if we won’t leave a mark, neither will anyone else here. We will be forgotten, humans will be forgotten, Earth will die. So what, if no one remembers us, all the more reason to use every second we have. If no one remembers the decisions we make, then we make whatever decisions we want.” Jeonghan said.

They lapsed into silence once again as Jeonghan’s words settled with them. Seungcheol shied away from the idea of his own mortality, of the fragility of human life. He liked to believe that his actions and deeds would echo into the future, and even if no one would remember his name, his actions at least would continue to positively affect others.

Jeonghan liked to believe that there was no such thing as forever, so if there was no forever, you could do as you pleased with the finite time that humans had. He said that no one would remember them, so there was no use fretting over small decisions, no use worrying about social norms that were instilled in them.

Joshua found the happy middle between infinite and impermanence. Maybe there was a forever, maybe there wasn’t, he always argued. Neither of those ideals should affect the fact that you live on a planet with 7 billion other people. It shouldn’t matter if your actions will be remembered or forgotten, what mattered was the moment in time they lived in and their ability to cause good with the time they were given

“Ever wonder about why we’re only able to talk about shit like this at night?” Seungcheol wondered aloud. Distractedly, he noticed he hadn’t closed the blinds all the way and moon light filtered between the cracks, soft and serene.

“Social conditioning,” Jeonghan replied with a small shrug.

“Psychology,” Joshua corrected.

“Explain.” Seungcheol requested.

“Well think about it,” Jeonghan said, sitting up on his arms so he could look at Seungcheol as well as Joshua, “During the day, we’re expected to be a certain way. During the day, in the light, we are expected to act and behave a certain way, to follow the ideas of us that other people have.”

Seungcheol nodded, vaguely picking up on where Jeonghan was going with this.

“At night, we don’t need to meet those expectations, we’re not in front of a crowd, we’re not expected to be active and engaging. By being awake at night, we are already breaking the expectations of others, to sleep and rest. That feeling, the feeling of not doing as we’re supposed to, it loosens us up, makes us more prone to divulge our thoughts and feelings.”

Seungcheol thought about it for a moment. The idea made sense, and the logic seemed at least a little thought out, if not flimsy.

“Plus, I think it helps that it’s low light, that we have the cover of darkness.” Jeonghan added as an afterthought.

Joshua hummed in acknowledgement before explaining what he knew, “According to psychobiology, at night, our parasympathetic nervous system is more active, the part of the nervous system that is associated with healing and relaxation. Because of that relaxed state, our minds clear and it becomes easier to talk about thoughts and feelings.”

Jeonghan and Seungcheol shared a surprised look. They both knew that Joshua was fascinated by psychology - they often heard theories and ideas that psychologists had come up with because Joshua tended to ramble when he was excited - but neither had ever heard of  _ just _ how much Joshua knew.

Joshua caught the look they shared and tugged gently on both of their hair, “Psychobiology is interesting, don’t judge.”

“It’s cute,” Jeonghan said, “It’s good that you have something you’re so passionate about.”

The giggles had died down now, and Mingyu’s light snoring reached the room.

Jeonghan sighed and flipped back onto his back, head cushioned on Joshua’s chest now.

“Oh, woah, I can hear your heart,” He whispered as he took Joshua’s arm and wrapped it around him, much to Joshua’s apparent amusement.

Seungcheol turned his head so his cheek was pressed against Joshua’s stomach. He watched Jeonghan’s eyes as they fluttered several times before remaining closed. They waited until his breathing was even and light before Seungcheol dared speak again.

“Did you notice he hasn’t been sleeping well?” Seungcheol said, one hand reaching out and resting on Jeonghan’s arm, who didn’t so much as move.

“Yeah, he’s been trying to cover the dark circles under his eyes with makeup but, well…” Joshua trailed off, though Seungcheol knew where he was going. The makeup had been half assed and not very convincing.

“Usually he sleeps great,” Seungcheol thought aloud, “Especially if his anxiety is peaking a little, as it has been.”

Joshua huffed out a small breath of agreement, “I noticed that too. He’s been spacier and did you see his fingers? He’s been picking at his nails again.”

“I think he’s been getting headaches and dizziness too.”

Besides them, Jeonghan barely stirred, sleep coming to him easier when he was with them.

“Cheol, don’t think we haven’t noticed your anxiety either.” Joshua said, his hand leaving Seungcheol’s hair in favor of moving to the nape of his neck to massage gently. “Your jaw has been constantly clenched, you’re constantly moving, you’re always checking in on the others.”

“I - I didn’t think you had noticed. I didn’t want to worry Hannie.” Seungcheol confessed, already feeling guilty. Both he and Jeonghan had made a pact when they talked about their anxiety for the first time to not hide it from each other when they weren’t feeling good. Joshua had, of course, also wanted in so he could help. But with everything going in, Seungcheol felt bad for bringing attention to himself, for struggling when Jeonghan was struggling with something much worse.

“Don’t do that Cheol,”Joshua chided gently, hand moving from his neck to his exposed cheek to tap at it lightly, “I can see your pretty little brain working. Don’t even think for a second of invalidating yourself. Your anxiety is real and it is very important, Cheol, and your struggles with it are valid.”

Seungcheol tilted his head in a minuscule nod, though he was sure Joshua caught the movement.

“I think going to the studio tomorrow with Jihoon will help. At least, so far it has been helping.”

“Even though Jeonghan isn’t in your immediate vicinity?” Joshua teased, though not without validity.

“Even though  _ both _ of you aren’t in my immediate vicinity,” Seungcheol corrected, “And yes, I’ll admit, that is a problem, but the whole music aspect of it has helped calm me down I think.”

“That’s great Cheol, I’m glad you have music, that you’ve found something to be passionate about.”

They fell into silence again, though now, on top of the ceiling fan and Mingyu’s snoring, distant murmuring could be heard. Seungcheol shifted, intent on going to see who was awake and if they needed anything, but Joshua stopped him with a firm hand to his lower back.

“Let them be, Seungcheol, they’re fine. If anyone needed anything, they would come in here and ask.”

Seungcheol relaxed, his eyes finding Jeonghan’s sleeping face once again, relaxed with his lips just slightly parted and cheek squished against Joshua’s chest. Seungcheol continued to watch him as the sounds of the house lulled him to sleep.

  
  
  
  


Seungcheol was the first to wake up in the morning as the morning sun started to peek through the blinds. Sometime in the night, Chan had abandoned his place besides Hansol on the couch and was splayed across Joshua instead, arms wrapped tightly around the elder. Joshua’s arm that had been wrapped around Jeonghan was firmly around Chan’s waist now, holding the maknae in place against his chest as Jeonghan clung to the arm like a koala.

Carefully untangling himself from the mass of limbs, Seungcheol made his way out of the room. He checked the sophomores in the guest room first, finding Minghao being suffocated between Mingyu and Seokmin, though the small smile on his face reassured Seungcheol that no one needed to be moved. 

Leaving the sleeping trio, he checked the living room next. Hansol was sleeping on his stomach on the couch, one leg up over the back and the other hanging limply over the side. Below him on cushions on the ground was Jun, who had kicked the covers off of him at some point in the night. Seungkwan was curled besides the other, hand outstretched as though reaching for Jun. Jihoon was on the other side of Seungkwan, lazily scrolling through his phone with half lidded eyes. At the sound of Seungcheol, he looked up and nodded in greetings before pointing to the bay window with his chin.

From Seungcheol’s vantage point, he could see Soonyoung and Wonwoo curled close together below the window, comforter pulled over them as they shared a pillow. One of Wonwoo’s hands was fisted in Soonyoung’s shirt and Soonyoung’s hand laid on Wonwoo’s chest idly. Both were still fast asleep.

Wonwoo and Soonyoung had been friends since primary school and were especially close. Wonwoo tended to stick with Junhui, Minghao, and Mingyu where Soonyoung liked being with Seokmin and Chan, and Jihoon when they could coerce the boy into joining. It wasn’t necessarily because the groups were closer, but their energies seemed to match each other and as such, the friend group splintered off like that when conflicts in scheduling occurred.

However, Wonwoo and Soonyoung had a special type of friendship. Though it seemed like reluctant friendship on the surface, what laid below was closer to life long friends, platonic soulmates. Soonyoung had been with Wonwoo when his father left his mother and him, had supported him when Wonwoo had to give up his hobbies in order to work. Soonyoung turned in work with Wonwoo’s name on it when the other boy was to worn down to do his own, he harbored Wonwoo at his home when Wonwoo’s mom left for three months out of nowhere.

And in return, Wonwoo was Soonyoung’s biggest supporter. When Soonyoung’s parents refused to go to his dance recitals, Wonwoo was buying front row tickets and bringing the largest bouquet he could. No matter how far the recitals and competitions were, Wonwoo was sitting front and center with a wide, proud smile on his face. And when Soonyoung realized he had a knack for science, Wonwoo was finding projects to do with Soonyoung, helping him enroll in after school programs and showing him clubs he could find.

Though outwardly, Soonyoung and Wonwoo’s friendship seemed built on exasperation and heavy teasing, their real friendship was something beautiful.

Seungcheol turned away from the sleeping kids and made his way into the kitchen, hearing Jihoon follow him.

“Morning hyung, how’d you and the others sleep.” Jihoon asked, his voice quiet as he seated himself at the island and watched Seungcheol prepare coffee.

“We got an unexpected guest in the middle of the night,” Seungcheol replied, looking over his shoulder to smile at Jihoon, “Any idea why our lovely maknae is currently suffocating Shua?”

Jihoon shrugged with one shoulder, a habit he had picked up when he had used a - rather dorky - satchel bag for school, “No idea, I slept through the night. Hansollie might know, Chan was laying with him on the couch when I fell asleep.”

Seungcheol hummed in acknowledgement and hoisted himself to sit on the counter next to the coffee pot, watching as the coffee began dripping down. “I didn’t even wake up when he came in, so hopefully one of the other two did if he needed to talk about something.”

“Your anxiety has been bad hasn’t it?” Jihoon asked.

“Yeah, not- not like in the fall but,” Seungcheol paused to pick his words carefully. He loved Jihoon and would trust the younger with his life, but that didn’t stop Seungcheol’s innate fear of pushing his problems on others. Though he had been told that exact fear was most likely  _ caused _ by his anxiety. “But it has been worse than normal. Don’t worry though, Hoonie, I’m going to start dealing with it better.”

“Okay hyung, but if you need anything or want to talk about whatever is going on in that brain of yours, you’ll always have me. I may not be Jeonghan-hyung or Joshua-hyung, but I care and I want to see you happy and healthy.” Jihoon said honestly, surprising Seungcheol a bit. Jihoon wasn’t one for obvious affection or words of affirmation. He usually showed through subtle actions, not outright voicing, like Jeonghan and Seokmin, so to hear him speak so bluntly both surprised and warmed Seungcheol.

Seungcheol shot Jihoon a small, grateful smile, “I’ll hold you to that, Hoon, but for now I think I can manage. Going to the studio today will help.”

Jihoon nodded, “I brought my stuff here yesterday, I figured we could go together, if that’s okay with you.”

“Course, saves us a trip anyways,” The coffee pot beeped and Seungcheol slid off the counter, “Coffee?”

“Are you asking me or the coffee pot?”

Seungcheol rolled his eyes and flipped the other off over his shoulder, “Smartass,  _ you _ obviously.”

“The fact that you felt the need to clarif-”

“Would you like coffee or not, dearest dongsaeng.”

“Yes please, milk and honey.”

Seungcheol shook his head as he prepared the two cups. “You take your coffee so fucking weird-”

“Not the only thing I take weird if you wanted to know.”

Seungcheol let the spoon he was holding clatter to the counter top as he turned to shoot Jihoon an exasperated look. “You’re impossible.”

Jihoon ignored him and nodded his head towards the coffee, “You done with that yet.”

Seungcheol huffed but finished preparing the coffees, setting one down in front of Jihoon right as Seungkwan came through the doorway dazedly. His hair was impossibly messy and his eyes could barely be considered open. He murmured something that could’ve been considered a good morning, but could have also been some form of cursing them out, before sliding into the seat next to Jihoon and letting his head hit the counter. Seungcheol watched and after only a few seconds, the boy was asleep again.

Jihoon huffed out a laugh as he blew across the top of the coffee, “How many times has he done something like this?”

“Too many to be normal,” Seungcheol replied despairingly as he set the coffee he was holding down and went to rouse the sleeping boy. “He gets angry if I wake him up and gets angry if I leave him here.”

“Push him off the chair.”

“Wha-”

“Technically it’s neither.”

“I’m not pushing him off the chair.”

“Then suffer.”

Jihoon gave Seungcheol a lopsided shrug when the elder shot him a look, taking his coffee and leaving the kitchen.

Seungcheol weighed his options for about three seconds before picking up the coffee mug and leaving. Best to get coffee by Jeonghan’s side and then deal with Seungkwan if the others hadn’t woken him up yet.

Seungcheol passed through the living room, where Hansol and Jun were both waking up while Soonyoung and Wonwoo continued to sleep peacefully. Jihoon had returned to his small pile of blankets and, despite the warm coffee besides him, looked about ready to fall asleep again.

Voices filtered from the guest room as Seungcheol walked past, so Seungcheol figured the sophomores were waking up and wouldn’t appreciate an interruption.

Back in his own room, Joshua was sitting up again now wide awake with Chan laying on one side of him drooling into the covers and Jeonghan still tucked against him on the other side.

“Is that for me?” Joshua asked with a teasing smile, probably knowing that Seungcheol expected Jeonghan to be awake instead of him . “Oh Cheollie you treat me so well, coffee in bed while I look after the kid.”

“Bite it Shua, I thought you would sleep in,” Seungcheol grumbled but handed over the coffee nonetheless, “It’s not how you like it, Jeonghan doesn’t like as much sugar as you, but I’m sure our brave Shua can handle it.”

Joshua’s face screwed up as he took the first sip, but didn’t complain, just settled against the headboard again and watched as Seungcheol seated himself at the end of the bed.

“Did you wake up when Channie came in?” He asked as he stared down at the freshman curled against him.

“I was hoping you did,” Seungcheol confessed, “Hopefully Jeonghan had it handled. I guess that’s for the better anyways, Jeonghan the best of us at comforting the kids.”

“Only because he tricked them into liking him all those years ago.”

“It was no trick!” Jeonghan protested, though his eyes remained closed, “It was more like a threat.”

Joshua snorted, “Oh excuse me for thinking too highly of you and assuming you wouldn’t threaten our poor dongsaengs.”

Jeonghan peered up at him with narrowed eyes, before sighing happily, “You’re excused-”

“That was rhetorical-”

“-but you’re not excused from taking my coffee you absolute  _ asswipe _ .”

“You were asleep!”

Jeonghan waved him off, “I’m hearing excuses and not solutions.”

“Why are you such a smartass.”

“Same reason you’re such a dumbass.”

Seungcheol decided it was about time to step in and remind them they have a sleeping dongsaeng right besides them, “Hannie I can go make you some coffee, don’t worry.”

Jeonghan frowned, “It won’t be the same, you made that one for me, not for the pig headed idiot who’s drinking it right now.”

“ _ Pig headed! _ ” Joshua said, sounding entirely too offended considering Jeonghan had definitely called him worse.

“Guys…” Seungcheol tried again.

“Yes, pig headed, Shua, what are you gonna do about it? Huh! Wai-”

Joshua took the arm that Jeonghan was still clinging to and began poking at Jeonghan’s side, tickling him mercilessly. Jeonghan erupted in high pitched giggles, trying to worm away from the attack while still staying on the bed.

“Say it again, I dare you! Say it to my face!” Joshua was unrelenting, even as the upper half of Jeonghan’s body slid off the top on the bed. The older shrieked and grabbed on to Joshua’s shoulder, trying to simultaneously get away from the tickles but also stay close to Joshua.

With a sigh, Seungcheol gracefully plucked the coffee mug from Joshua’s other hand, already expecting what Jeonghan would do next.

Jeonghan, just as Seungcheol thought, lunged with the rest of his strength at Joshua and knocked them both backwards on to the bed, jostling Chan in the process.

“Okay I’m gonna go deal with breakfast, you two wrap up whatever the hell this is.” Seungcheol said and he got up to leave.

He closed the doors as whines and complaints spilled from Joshua and Jeonghan as they tried to entice him to come back.

With an exasperated shake of his head, Seungcheol left to take care of the rest.

  
  
  
  
  


“Ah hyungs,  _ hyungs! _ ” Hansol shouted behind them.

Seungcheol and Jihoon had just reached the sidewalk in front of Seungcheol’s house when the younger came barreling out the door, stumbling in his haste to get to them while putting on his flannel.

“Sollie? Everything okay?” Seungcheol asked, worry clouding his mind.

Most of the day had been dedicated to finishing up any leftover school assignments that the friends had. When everyone seemed mostly caught up on work, they had decided to go down to the river for an afternoon walk and a game of pick up soccer. Seungcheol and Jihoon had parted from the group as everyone gathered their things, heading to the studio for three hours before meeting their friends back at Seungcheol’s house.

Absently, Seungcheol noted that Hansol had put on the flannel inside out, he never seemed to notice, and he reached out to help the freshman correct it.

“Ah no, everything’s fine, I just,” Hansol stopped to slip his arms through the flannel as Seungcheol held it up for him, “Well I was wondering if I could join you guys at the studio today.”

Jihoon and Seungcheol shared a surprised look. Hansol had always seemed curious about their music production, but as far as Seungcheol knew, he hadn’t really ever tried his hand at it.

“ ‘Course Hansollie,” Seungcheol replied carefully, “Any reason you want to go with us though?”

“Is it okay if I explain it when we’re at the studio I-” Hansol cut himself off and waved towards the house. Their friends’ voices could still be heard so Seungcheol could understand Hansol’s desire for privacy.

The walk was pleasant, if not a little long. They wound through the nicer neighborhoods of the city and picked up some street food from a vendor on their way.

Once at the studio, Jihoon signed them in while Seungcheol showed Hansol around. The younger gawked at all the equipment they were granted access to and asked as many questions as he seemed to think of.

Jihoon met them again at their studio at the end of the hall and they connected their computers and got their programs up and running before sitting Hansol down on the couch and asking him once again why he had wanted to join.

“I see how music helps you.” He started. “I’ve watched you guys grow with your music and rely on it when you’ve gone through tough times. I always thought that music was to you what writing was to me, but I realized it isn’t. You guys make something you’re proud of, but I flounder. I tried writing stories, but the stories wouldn’t come to me. So I tried poetry and finally felt I was good at something, but it still lacked. I wanted more. I need more.”

“Sol…” Seungcheol trailed off. He brought his hand to Hansol’s and rubbed small circles on the boy’s wrist.

“My parents… Their fighting is getting worse. Like a lot worse. I’m scared of what will happen if I don’t find an escape, some way to really cope with their bullshit. If that makes sense.”

“Of course that makes sense.” Jihoon said. “And for what it’s worth, you’re welcome here any time.”

“Do you want us to teach you some of the basics?” Seungcheol offered. “We can teach you as we work.”

“And we could help you compose a song for your lyrics? If you wanted?” Jihoon added, seeming already excited about the prospect.

Hansol looked a bit overwhelmed, as though he hadn’t thought they would be so accepting of another person in their studio.

“I - yeah,  _ yes _ . That would be awesome! You guys would really - yes please.” He stuttered out, cheeks dusting a bit.

“I’ll go get you a chair, Hoonie, show him some basic beat counts and structures.” Seungcheol stood and added, “I’m happy you’re joining us.”

  
  
  
  
  


Hansol quickly became enamored with music. He joined them at the studio the next Friday and Sunday as well and had shyly shown Seungcheol some of his lyrics at lunch. Seungcheol and Jihoon were both grateful for his easy going and kind presence. He asked the right questions, recorded the singing and rapping parts without complaint, and even made notes on the lessons they were giving him.

And Seungcheol was happy for the distraction that music was providing him. Though his classes had slowed down and he wasn’t receiving nearly as much work as he was used to, he was feeling the stress elsewhere in his life.

His parents, for one, had been ecstatic about UCLA and had taken him out for a fancy, celebratory dinner. The guilt of lying to them was keeping him up at night and he slowly felt his anxiety worsening as the days dragged on.

His jaw began to throb with how tightly he was clenching it and his body would be weary at the end of the day with the constant movement that he forced himself into. But his mind would turn over itself all night and Seungcheol began to lose sleep as dreadful thoughts kept him awake at night.

The last problem he found himself dealing with was his best friends. Jeonghan was getting worse at hiding his own anxiety, the boy had stopped applying makeup to the dark circles beneath his eyes and his fingers were turning red and raw from his picking at them. He was a bit more irritable than usual and sometimes even laying a hand on his shoulder made him huff in annoyance. 

Joshua and Jun had obviously picked up on Jeonghan’s state and were trying to help to the best of their abilities. Joshua would make sure Jeonghan was eating correctly, drinking water, distracting him after school and prompting him to keep up with his assignments. Jun had taken to staying with Jeonghan while the older’s parents were gone. While he didn’t tell Seungcheol much of what happened at night, it was obvious Jun was struggling to help.

That weekend, Jeonghan insisted on going out with Minhyuk and Kihyun, much to everyone else’s despair. Jun initially tried to get him to not go, saying he wasn’t up for it, but Jeonghan didn’t back down and went as far as saying he would go without Jun if the younger boy was so tired. 

“You should’ve seen it hyung, I’ve never seen Jeonghan act like that.” Jun’s voice came in through the phone on Sunday evening. “One second he was dancing and having a good time, the next he was insisting that we pour out our drinks and get new ones. It was like he was trying to convince me he was having a good time, but his protectiveness wouldn’t let him keep the act up.”

Seungcheol sighed and rubbed a tired hand over his face. He was sprawled across his bed, facing the ceiling, with Jun on speakerphone on the pillow besides him. 

“And, every time we replaced our drinks, he would try mine first. He claimed it was because he wanted to make sure I was making good mixes, but I’m certain he just wanted to make sure that there wasn’t anything in it.” Jun’s voice was getting more and more stressed as he talked. “I don’t want him feeling so  _ unsafe _ , especially when he’s with me! I feel like I’ve failed him. Like I keep failing him.”

Further in the house, Seungcheol could hear his parents moving around the kitchen, making dinner amicably.

Seungcheol wondered what it was like for Jeonghan, Joshua, and occasionally Wonwoo and Minghao to not have the constant comfort of noise in their homes.

He rolled over on his stomach, “Junnie, trust me, I understand. Joshua had to talk me down from an anxiety attack when you told us you were going out last night. But we can’t push him to talk about it and we can’t start micromanaging him, he’ll just start pushing us away.”

“We have to be able to do something,  _ anything,  _ to help him. To just, get him out of whatever mindset he’s put himself in.” Jun audibly gulped as he rustled around on the other side of the phone. “I wanted to stay with him tonight but my foster parents wanted me home. He was, he was so forcibly happy today. I didn’t want to leave him.”

“It’s not your fault Junnie and I’m glad you’re getting along with your foster parents! They were really fun when we all went out to dinner.”

Jun chuckled, “I know, I really like them too. Now that my parent’s lost custody, they’ve been getting really involved in my life. It was like, before the court decision, they were taking care of me but keeping me at a little distance, so that it wouldn’t hurt either of us if my parents were given custody. But now, it’s like I’m actually their kid.”

Jun’s joy could be felt even over the phone. The court decision had been nearly a year ago, but Jun always began glowing when he talked about the family he was with now. Jeonghan and Minghao had been at the courthouse waiting for him the day of the trial and had been the ones to accompany him and his new family out to lunch that day. Jun took every opportunity he could to talk about the family he was with. No one ever complained though, everyone was just happy to see Junhui with a family who loved him as much as he deserved.

“I’m so glad Jun. Will you do me a favor and see if they want to get dinner again? I would love to spend some more time with them when your school schedule clears up a bit.” Seungcheol said, expecting the bright laugh that Jun let out a second later.

“Yeah of course, they would love that. They always call you the ‘charming, large-eyed boy’” Jun said.

“Better than camel.” Seungcheol grumbled, much to Junhui’s amusement.

“Awe hyungie, you’re such a cute camel though!”

“I’m hanging up.”

“Bye my little camel!”

The line cut before Seungcheol could scold the younger. Before Seungcheol could think twice about it, he was dialing Jeonghan’s number.

The younger answered on the fifth ring.

“And to what do I owe this pleasure, my dearest?”Jeonghan asked when he picked up.

“You purposefully made it ring didn’t you.”

“Of course I did, had to build the tension.”

“That’s stupid.”

“Oh sorry, are you talking about your face?”

Seungcheol laughed, “Yah! Idiot. Anyways, do you wanna know why I called?”

“If I didn’t wanna know I wouldn’t have picked up the phone.” Jeonghan pointed out. Seungcheol knew it was true, Jeonghan had done it to him several times, sometimes right in front of Seungcheol.

“Will you listen to me?” Seungcheol complained.

“Will you say something interesting?” Jeonghan whined back.

“Come over?” Seungcheol cut to the chase. It seemed that Jeonghan was in a teasing mood, so it was always better to keep him on track when he was like that.

“Oh! Sure, I would love to.” Jeonghan sounded genuinely surprised, “For dinner or…”

“Stay the night. Your parents aren’t home yet right? I don’t like it when you’re alone in that house.”

Jeonghan huffed, “No they don’t come back until Wednesday. Okay, if you’re sure it’s okay with your parents I would love to.”

“Great, I’ll see you soon then. We’re having kimchi stew and scallion pancakes.” Seungcheol said.

“Oh man I think I just popped a boner." Jeonghan said. “My mouth is watering so much, that sounds so good. I’m literally gonna run to your house.”

“You don’t run.”

“I’m gonna take the subway in a hurried fashion.”

Seungcheol snorted, “Dinner is in 20 minutes, text me when you leave.”

“See you soon dearest.”

Seungcheol hung up with a smile on his face.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all liked! Obviously next chapter will be a bit more action packed, but I couldn't bring myself to write anything too sad right now  
> May have projected some existential thoughts onto the 95line as well, whoops  
> As always, comments and kudos are always appreciated!  
> Love you all

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are always appreciated :D hope you all enjoyed, next chapter will be soon i promise! ALSO good luck with the comeback beautiful people


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